Co-parenting query

[Gem8701]

Hi all,

Me and ex seperated in March, we have a 3yo LG. What we have been dong is he has her only on weekends fri-sun and not every weekend, for example we've been on a couple of holidays where he hasnt seen her on the weekend so then he'd have her in the week. My friends mum is a health visitor and says its damaging to not have a set routine and also that she needs to see me more, so basically advised to have her alternate weekends. what do other parents do?

What happens during the week? Is she with you or at nursery/childcare.

A routine is important, but the occasional break to that routine for a holiday etc. is fine.

Shes at nursery full time and then me on an evening.

Her dad works some Saturdays so sometimes i take her out sat morn then drop her off with him in afternoon but HV thinks this isn't good and that i should be having her every other wknd.

Lots of families work perfectly well with open and flexible contact with each parent. There are no hard and fast tiles and this HV doesn't have the qualifications to recommend either way.

So what's right for your child and your family

I think a strong co-parenting relationship that means the child feels safe, secure and stable is far more beneficial to them than anything else. The odd change in weekend isn't going to be harmful if it's accompanied by good communication and relations between the parents.

I think that’s fine; if your DD is unsettled by it then rethink but if she’s ok with it then go with it.

HV doesn't really get a say in how you and your ex decided to organise co-parenting. We have always had flexible visitation and it's worked well for our DC. Do what works for you.

Do what works for your family.

I know all kind of set ups and the ones that work the best are when the parents are properly co-parenting (no Disney dad) share responsibilities and are aware & involved in decisions being made - schooling etc
These examples are once it moves into teenage years the children feel more comfortable in a flexa arrangement that works for them as well.
I know that If a mum is stuck working late she can contact without drama the dad to pick up kids and vice versa. School holidays are discussed what works for all fairly.
I’m excluding children that experience domestic violence etc from this example as their needs are different.

Thanks all :)