Newborn will only sleep in arms

[featheredcloud68]

Dc2 is 2 weeks old and I've barely slept since, I'm well aware this is the fourth trimester and they need lots of cuddles as it is how they feel safe however I'm not functioning well on 2-3 hours sleep (I hand her over to DP at 5am and grab a couple hours before DC2 wakes and DP has work). I'm also breastfeeding.

I spend the entire night feeding, cuddling, attempting to lay her down followed by her waking and starting back over again.

We used a sleepyhead with our first child however I've since been told they aren't recommended for night use so I'm unsure what to do that might help give me an extra hour or two sleep.

(We've also tried the love to dream swaddle which hasn't worked either)

Oh, it’s so brutal isn’t it!

I used a purflo which I think has passed some safe sleep test although I think it is technically endorsed by the lullaby trust but I do think that if you follow the lullaby trust to the letter no one would get any sleep, to be honest.

There have been no instances of SIDS using a sleeping nest if that helps.

Go to bed super early and hand over to DP so you get two slots for sleep (unless evening cluster feeding!), try a dummy (obviously still feed responsively), keep trying the swaddle or a different type? I had a great one from Amazon which was a god send - I think it was a Little Seeds 3 pack.

Hope you find something that helps soon - it will pass eventually!

It's horrific! My baby would only sleep in my arms for the first 8 weeks. Definitely agree with going to bed early so you get a couple of short stretches overnight. Also, I'm
Sure you know this as a second timer but make sure baby is wrapped up really warm before you put down and put her down bottom first, keeping a hand under her Bach and on her chest for a couple of minutes before withdrawing. It's not a magical fix but it would work sometimes for me

Will the baby not sleep in bed with you?

Look at safer co-sleeping

My first was like this. Wouldn’t sleep in a crib or bassinet. Landed up being that the top half of her pram with the hood up lying on a sheepskin gave her the security she needed to sleep for her first few months. We also used slings a lot during the day especially one of those stretchy cloth ones. Frees up your hands so you can do things. We did everything with a baby in a sling - cleaning, cooking, eating, work, bike repairs. Second one was polar opposite so they are all different.

The sheepskin was great by the way because it could go anywhere and provided immediate comfort and familiarity. She used it til she was 4 or so to sleep on on holiday, at grandparents, friends etc.

Definitely look into the safe sleep 7! Whether you intend to co sleep or not, when you're this sleep deprived it will probably end up happening and you want to know you're keeping baby safe.

In the meantime intentionally co sleeping might actually help you find something that works for you and your family. Have you considered a side car crib? Worked miracles for me!

I actually did pick up put down when my baby was this age so she learned it was ok to be awake in her cot and drift of in it. Took 2-3 days and no crying/screaming involved it was very gentle.

My issue was if I cuddled her she would actually sleep through "needing" a feed and as she was the youngest of 4 I needed the bulk of her feeds to be during my daytime.

My baby was the same- I quickly mastered feeding him laying down and co-slept for 7 months 😬

Definitely look at the guidance for safer cosleeping. My DS is 3 weeks old and he will do some reasonable stretches in his Moses basket but then it comes to 5am or if he won’t settle at all in the evening he comes into our bed.

It’s lovely tbh, he sleeps under my armpit 🤣 the evenings are warm so I have the duvet up to my waist and one of his cellular blankets over my top half if needed. It’s made a big difference to us all. We feel well rested and I don’t have to try and force myself to stay awake when I’m too tired to.

Oh god I’m having flashbacks now too to the wart days !! It’s so tough

I went to bed at about 7pm - husband stayed up with baby asleep on him - brought baby to me when she needed feeding (around 10pm) then I slept again until about 1am - husband still up with baby!

Then I’d take over for the night so he can get some sleep before work the next day! Meant we were both getting a chunk of sleep!

Oh I could have written this a few months ago, you have my sympathies 100%, it really is torture never being able to rest properly!

I second the PP who said go to bed early, I would go to bed around 8/9pm and leave her with DH who would then bring her up around midnight. He would then take over again for a couple of hours early morning.

We occasionally found that warming the bed with a hot water bottle first sometimes helped her settle down ok at the start of the night, but it was hit and miss and always a nightmare during the night!

We also used a Snuzpod with the side down so I could have my hand on her during the night and that helped stop her jerking herself awake with her arms.

Hang in there.... it really does get better! DD is getting on for 8 months now and we all finally get normal amounts of sleep which seemed so impossible a few months ago!

I was in the same situation for the first 9 weeks. I tried to get some sleep in the evening while DH had DS, and then again in the early morning. It was brutal though so you have my sympathy. If you can safely co-sleep, do. Unfortunately my DS wouldn't even sleep laid down next to me, he had to be on my chest.