Anyone else regretted having more than one child?

[Londonlady92]

Please don't judge, I already feel guilty but want to stress it doesn't mean I love either of my children less I love them both equally and more than anything in the world.

I always wanted 2 kids, my eldest was an angel baby and still is now at almost 7 and I couldn't wait to try for another. DD came along and it hit me like a tonne of bricks having to split my time and the exhaustion. It got easier as she grew but she's almost 3 now and I still find the days hard and miss the ease of my routine with one child, I love them both so much and obviously wouldn't change them but I found myself today thinking about it after DDs 7th meltdown of the day whilst my son tried to tell me about his day at school and I just felt so guilty.

Am I a terrible person? I'm guess I'm posting because I feel so guilty for thinking it.

I'm guessing and hoping it gets better with time? I just csnt help but feel my eldest has missed out on alot of my time because of my desire to have 2.

I think if people are truly honest, we all have these days. If you have one, you regret not giving them a sibling, you have two, it’s ridiculously hard work and you feel like you have to split yourself in two. One always misses out on your attention.

It will get easier! And soon enough, those hard days will get less and you will be glad they have each other.

Two is hard. Make some time each week to devote to them individually. Tell them you love them, and ignore the tantrums. Have a group hug and make some fun games you can all do together, like hide and seek. Make sure to have some time out too

Nothing wrong with the way you are feeling but don't worry too much. If you have someone who can take 1 child off your hands occasionally you can do some kid/mum dates where you go out and give them your undivided attention.

I'm currently expecting baby number 6, I don't regret having any of ours. It can be hard giving them one on one time but then they're all happy enough and have eachother too. It's lovely seeing them interacting nicely, not so great when they're fighting but that doesn't last too long.

3 was the worst age in my experience. By 4, things should be a lot better.

I came in from a particularly disastrous excursion this week (we have 3 kids), and I said to my husband "I wish we only had one child. The problem is I wouldn't be able to choose which one..."

I love them all DEARLY. But yes, it is much more complicated to balance than when we had just one.

But then, my friends who have just 1 have found they tend to suffer through having to be a playmate a lot more of the time - with multiple kids at least they'll play with each other sometimes.

So not always easier with just 1. But I imagine some things certainly are! (Wistfully remembering cafe trips with my calm eldest, just me and her...!)

Thanks so so much for these understanding replies means so much.

Its exactly that, I don't regret them either of them personally, just the amount in general I'm finding harder than imagined.

I'm sure I will look back at this post and hate myself!

I’m longing for a second, which is unlikely for a variety of reasons, but I can sympathise entirely, OP! I keep thinking, "what if I regretted it," for exactly the same reasons you've mentioned. I’m sure it’ll get easier for you, and please don't feel guilty for finding it hard!

This is uncanny, I was in a very similar position to you although DD is now 3.5.

I must say it feels as though we are beginning to turn a corner, it is nowhere near as tough as it was this time last year. She is definitely more (militantly) independent and can entertain herself for longer.

I had no idea that having her would take away more independence than having her brother but it's slowly getting easier and more harmonious between them too. Don't get me wrong it can change in an instant but the easier times outweigh the harder now.

Hopefully the tide will turn for you soon too.

My newborn who is 3 days has abit of an upset stomach. She goes for a poop but when i check it’s only a tiny bit. Should I be concerned?

Wrong thread. But yes I would speak to GP, very likely all fine but at that age they will always want to check.

OP these feelings are pretty standard- certainly entirely understandable and natural!!

I'm sure most of us have experienced this feeling at points! Really no need for the hate!

I’m pregnant with my second and I’m terrified!

Not sure if i missed a hate post but thanks everyone, feeling better today!

I don't regret having a second. But there were definitely days (many of them!) when I regretted my decision to have a third! DC3 was the hardest by far - a terrible sleeper and a really tricky toddler. It's lovely now they're all teen / pre teen though!

I think pp meant your feeling of self hate.

I think it's important to acknowledge your own feeling s, at least to yourself. Personally, I wish daily that I had only one. I'm a single parent and it's stressful and miserable trying to cater for two unreasonable, demanding little people.

@Chanticleer

I’m longing for a second, which is unlikely for a variety of reasons, but I can sympathise entirely, OP! I keep thinking, "what if I regretted it," for exactly the same reasons you've mentioned. I’m sure it’ll get easier for you, and please don't feel guilty for finding it hard!

I'm the same as you. First is almost 10 and I'm desperate for a second but I definitely have moments of panic about how things might change.

I don't think DDs age is helping atm, terrible 2s and extremely demanding, not sleeping great its so tough