Supporting dd after sexual assault disclosure. *content warning MNHQ*

[Hamnetssister]

Dd 15 is on the autism pathway and has been having difficulties attending school for a couple of months - she’s extremely anxious. She disclosed last week that a boy she knew had sexually assaulted her while they were out walking together. He told her that there was no one about and he could rape her before the assault- she must have been terrified. She kept this to herself for five months. Her behaviour deteriorated and she self harmed, starting saying she couldn’t go to school a lot. She’s being seen by CAMHS but we had no idea what she had bottled up.

We have been to the police for the initial statement and she was really brave. She is going for a video interview later this week.

How can I support her? I’m signed off work for the next two weeks as frankly I can’t cope with work on top of everything that’s going on at the moment.

Bump.

That's truly awful and I'm sorry but I have nothing to offer. Just didn't want you to go unanswered.

Hopefully, someone will be along soon

Thank you. I think it just helps to talk about it. I feel guilty about being off work but I couldn’t cope with it at the moment.

Don't feel guilty. Just do not. Your DD is far more important

I’m a teacher so I’m worried about my classes, but I just burst in tears at work when dd told me (she texted me).

Didn't want to read and run. No advice but it sounds like you are already doing what is needed, being there for her along the way and helping her navigate the next steps.

I’m so sorry thus has happened to your daughter.
It is terribly hard for us as parents when we are helpless. Keep doing what you are doing, be there for her.

Very sorry to hear this.

Not sure where you are in the country and you probably don't wish to say, but perhaps the bridge might help?

emotional and practical support

www.thebridgecanhelp.org.uk/friends-family

Google an ISVA service in your area, they usually have childrens services that you can self refer to

Thank you - I’m not close to The Bridge but I will look at ISVA services. Hopefully the police will be able to refer us to some support too. Dd seems ok now she’s told me, but she’s been having difficulties with school attendance for a while and I’m hoping school will be understanding now they know what’s happened.

I’m finding it difficult at the moment not to let my anxiety affect dd. If she goes out and doesn’t answer her phone I’m terrified that something has happened to her.

I’m finding it difficult at the moment not to let my anxiety affect dd. If she goes out and doesn’t answer her phone I’m terrified that something has happened to her

I'm not sure you'd be normal if you didn't think like this.

How is she this evening?

She is ok - she’s gone out with her friend.
I think the content of this post was clear from my thread title, just saw a warning had been added.

Your poor DD and you

Dr Jessica Taylor’s Victim Focus is brilliant and has things like a journal she can work through and ideas on how to support in a completely non-judgemental and non-victim blaming way. www.victimfocus.org.uk/

Thank you - I’ll take a look. I feel so upset that she kept it to herself all this time.

Please don’t feel upset she kept it to herself, she maybe just needed time to process what had happened, it’s no reflection on your relationship with her. She’s told you know and that shows she trusts you to help her. Sending love to you both

The best thing you can do is be there for her and believe her which is exactly what you are doing.
Please don’t blame yourself, sometimes bad things happen.
Some talking therapy might be helpful to both of you. 💐

It's not your fault. Just as it's not her fault.

You sound fantastically supportive of her and are doing exactly what she needs

Thank you. I will always support her and believe her. I feel angry as well that he thought it was ok to do this to her. She was 14 and he was 16 at the time of the incident and she is vulnerable.

I’m feeling guilty about being signed off. Dd said to me today ‘why are you off work, there’s nothing wrong with you.’

Not heard anything from the police but dd was b brave giving her video statement so it’s just wait and see I guess?