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My 17 year old dd assaulted me today

3 replies

attackedandashamed · 05/07/2021 12:25

I just don't know what to do.

My dd has adhd, suffered from anxiety and depression. I can be a bit reactive to her which I try to control but not always so well.

She is meant to be taking a specialised online one on one course today, she agreed to it, it's 2 hours a day for a week, $850 plus fees to send all the materials. It was expensive and she signed up to it.

2 hours before the course is due to start, she tells me she's not going to take it, that she wants to see her friends. I tell her it's too late to cancel or change for this upcoming 2 hour session. She then takes all the material which was sent, starts tearing it up, flinging it all over the living room. I told her if you make mess in the living room, I'll make a mess in your room and emptied some of her stuff (this was my reactive bit, probably should have stayed calm). I then told her she's grounded for this and took her phone. This was a cue for her to launch a full-on physical attack to get the phone back. She was hitting me, punching me. I didn't physcailly defend myself as I didn't want it to deteriorate into a physcail fight but also didn't give the phone back (amybe a mistake, I don't know, should I have???).

Eventually she calmed down and she's stormed out (without phone), apparently she wants to stay out all night according to dd2.
We live in Asia and in a big city so calling police isn't an option here.

She's really hurt me. She punched me in the ribs, I can't bend over. I'm just crying and feel helpless. It's not the first time she's been physical but usually dh is here to help, now he's away.

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 05/07/2021 12:29

So sorry you're struggling @attackedandashamed

I'd ask MNHQ to move this over to either the SN or the Tern section where you'll probably get a few more responses.

TheVanguardSix · 05/07/2021 12:35

Do you understand the root of her anger, by any chance?
This is so traumatic for you. Please know that my question is not meant to wash over this incident in the least. Any big life changes in the past couple of years (including the pandemic- which, in itself, is a bloody nightmare affecting all of us)?

attackedandashamed · 05/07/2021 12:40

@TheVanguardSix

Do you understand the root of her anger, by any chance? This is so traumatic for you. Please know that my question is not meant to wash over this incident in the least. Any big life changes in the past couple of years (including the pandemic- which, in itself, is a bloody nightmare affecting all of us)?
She can't regulate her emotions, that's the main issue. Her other violent episodes have been around being denied access to drugs (nitrous oxide or weed)
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