Returning to work - mum guilt

[Cr17]

Hi all,
FTM here and I'm not due to return to work until the end of September so I have a little while to go just yet but time is going by so fast and the closer its coming the more I really don't want to go back to work! I know all mums might feel this way but unfortunately I have no option but to go back to work.
My job is a full time position so there is no option to drop days or work part time and obviously that was fine before I had a baby but I really don't want to be away from my baby for 5 days a week and also with the costs of child care over half of my wages will be gone if I worked full time 5 days a week (I know this is something to expect when having a child)
I'm thinking of asking if I can work 2 days a week from home & 3 days in the office, im wondering if anyone is currently doing this or experienced working from home with a child under 1? How did you find it? How did you tackle being focused on work dealing with emails/calls whilst having a child around you all day?
How did you deal with being away from your LO all day when they are so young? I cant help but feel so guilty leaving her when its taken us sooo long to have her x

There is no way you can work and look after a baby all day so you'd still need to use childcare for 5 days.

What childcare do you have in place? If it's a nanny so your child will be at home then you will need to work away from the area where the nanny and baby are. Just being with them when you're not working/taking a break.

Your baby will be fine though. Find good childcare and all will be well. You've nothing to feel guilty about, you're doing what's best for your family.

At my place of work, if you are working from home you are doing just that, and it's not allowed to do childcare at the same time. It does mean you can do picks ups etc easier.

The rules were relaxed in covid times for homeschooling etc but now they are cracking down on it again. You simply can't give your best either to the job or to your child.

I agree with the other posts - you can't work from home with a small child. Our work is being flexible due to covid but not as standard. If I have toddler DD at home I can take the odd phone call or respond to the odd email if someone needs something urgently but I can't get anything meaningful done. Recently DD was off sick so DH and I did half a days work each while the other looked after DD and then we both worked in the evening to try to get close to our required hours.

If you're worried about missing her too much and work won't consider part time, would they consider compressed or flexible hours? You could pick her up early from nursery a couple of days a week or have a half day off in the week but then make up a few hours one evening?

As long as you choose childcare you are happy with your DD will be fine in childcare. I was dreading it but actually DD thrived. I would say though with my DD that she is very tired when she is in full time (I do the type of flex I mention above so usually she has one or two short days) so perhaps working from home to reduce your commute so you can pick her up earlier a day or two a week may benefit you all. Having said all that I have friends/colleagues with children in full time childcare and they don't have the tiredness problem so it's very child dependent.

I suppose my biggest piece of advice would be to be willing to be flexible - try something and if after a few months it doesn't work, try something else.

Agreeing with everyone else. Contractually, many places of work don't allow you to WFH if you have a child around (other than during a global pandemic). When DS has had to isolate or I've had to work on my non-working day, I'm lucky if I get 30mins of work done a day. They also get much more demanding (and dangerous...) as they get older and I have to watch him every second of the day that he's not asleep otherwise he'll have tried to climb out a window by the time I've spotted him.

Thanks for your responses, reading these i do agree that working from home wouldn't be productive for my job or spending the time I need to be with my LO whilst she is with me trying to work, I was just hoping that there might be a way 😁
I just can't help feeling so guilty leaving her with a child minder all day and missing out on her milestones but I suppose that's just what we have to do when we have no choice but to return to work 😔
I have a child minder in mind, my brother as his little boy who has been going there for 3 years and they highly recommend her so I was thinking of using the same person hopefully.

Not all mums feel like this at all. I was more than happy to go back to work. Of course I missed her first couple of days but it was liberating to get some of me back after spending a year changing nappies and feeding.

In terms of practical solutions. Could you work from home 2 days a week and finish earlier those days?

Do you have a partner and if so what’s he doing in terms of childcare. Is he doing his fair share?

You could consider both you and your partner doing FT compressed hours, if there is any flexibility. Or just him, if you don't have that. That way you need fewer days in childcare and each potentially have a day in the week with her.

You don't miss the milestones, trust me. You are still the parent. Still there every day and on the weekends.

@Forstarters Yes my husband does his fair share, he also works full time.

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity unfortunately we wouldn't be able to do compressed hours, both our jobs require us to be there 5 days a week, although that sounds good! It's more me, how I feel and not wanting to leave her!