How to enjoy parenting?

[PumpkinKlNG]

I’m really struggling with parenting, I’m a single mum to 4 and I’m alone with them (father has no involvement at all) I don’t have help from family, although I have family they would never help and trust me I’ve asked. They are the “you made your bed you lie in it” type of people. Which is fair enough. My oldest 2 have autism and never and I mean very rarely sleep, it was 4 am that my son went to sleep yesterday I almost didn’t wake to take them to school this morning. I am at breaking point, I find myself grumpy, shouting and just miserable. I can’t enjoy patenting never getting a break ever and I feel it’s all too much for one person to deal with. How can I feel better and enjoy parenting? Please don’t say to ask for help from ss I have had them involved in the past due to their father and it was not a pleasant experience I would never voluntarily involve them.

Any other mothers at school that you are friends with able to help?

No unfortunately I’m not “in” with the school mums and tbh wouldn’t tell them my problems

Currently have 5 x dc at home. Do have a dh but I 'manage' the dc mostly.. I have learned to make the most of very tiny windows of peace and quiet! Bought a nice coffee maker for example - 10 mins peace with a coffee and a cake! Nice bubble bath and a book when dc are asleep. Door gets locked.. Covid have me the push to make a nice back garden. Small but manageable!
Being outside for parts of my day have been a great mh boost. Remember you ARE doing great!! I was on my own with 4 for a while. And then again with 3 small ones before I met dh. It is tough but your relationships with your dc will bloom and you will be able to relax a bit as the years go on. Make sure school give you all the support they can.

I think anybody would struggle to cope with that, it sounds like a very tough situation.

Maybe there are some autism support charities or some kind of respite care you could access?

Does DC dad pay maintenance even if he doesn't see them? That might be something to get sorted.

I think you can get help with this and have it work for you. I know someone who's job was taking kids out to give their parent a break and I know the health visitor can arrange for things like that.
You are perfectly normal to be overwhelmed by your situation right now. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

How are finances and how old are they? Can you afford to use holiday club for some, some days in the holidays?
Are there any charities that can help? There’s a special families charity in the area I live and they run special youth clubs and holiday clubs for children with additional needs

I don’t work because I can’t. The older two get dla but money is tight as we don’t get any maintenance and the youngest was born one month after the cut off for tax credits. Holiday clubs wouldn’t be an option with the oldest as she can’t be left alone and would need 1:1 support. I will look into it for the younger ones though. I’m not aware of any charities in the area I wouldn’t even know where to look.

I’m not aware of any charities in the area I wouldn’t even know where to look.

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