Hi all,
I’m looking for some guidance on what is ‘normal’ for families at the moment.
We have three boys and there is constant arguing. For example, the oldest two will start a game together, and absolutely every time that will turn into an argument in under five minutes. They argue over toys, about who is allowed to eat what, about who sits in which seat etc. It really is constant. This always results in either my husband or me shouting over the top of them to get them to stop. Often they don’t listen and will just storm out of the room shouting to continue their argument in a different room.
Our youngest is a toddler and spends a lot of time shouting and generally making a mess. I feel like things are completely out-of-control much of time, with me trying to tell the baby not to throw food, for example, whilst his brothers are shouting at each other in the background and I’m trying to clean up.
Nobody has any space… even when they’ve just been told off, they refuse to leave each other alone and continue to sit next to each other making accusations and throwing insults.
The oldest pays no attention to anything said to him. If I send him to bed, he refuses to go and there have been times when I have physically pulled him out of the room.
They view the baby being asleep as a real challenge to see who can wake him up first, so I’m often dealing with a tired, irritable baby and two arguing boys.
I’m exhausted and feel like I’m always ready to lose my temper at the smallest thing. This morning, my eldest son refused to get dressed(this happens every day) and stole his brother’s toys from his bed, running off with them laughing. I was trying to get the baby dressed and the noise of them chasing each other made him want to go and investigate, so I was wrestling him into a nappy whilst hearing the others downstairs fighting and slamming the doors.
I really lost my temper, screamed at both of them and told the oldest that I really wanted to hit him. And I did want to.
I’m totally lost and don’t recognise who I am now. I used to feel that I was a good mum, but now Im always just waiting for them to go to bed or school.
What do I do? The oldest is 8.
Thanks for any advice.