2 week old baby at family wedding?

[Blueyelloworange]

My baby is likely going to be born 10 to 14 days before my sister's wedding this autumn. I want to go, but I'm worried about exposing my newborn to so many germs, especially with COVID still around. Also I am worried about how I can look after the baby and be there for my sister when I am assuming I will still be in pain. What do you think I should do?

can't help with your worries about germs.

but I can tell you that there's no way you can decide in advance what you will do, because you don't know how the childbirth will go. or when.
my DS2 was 14 days late.
you've know idea how you or baby will feel/be afterwards.

so accept invite and reserve the right to cancel last minute.
you'll just have to wait & see

Why do you expect to be in pain?

As pp said make your mind up after the baby is born.

What zing said. You might have a month old, you might be in Labour. I’m sure your sister will understand that you might not be able to come!

Hopefully you won't be in pain, most people aren't 2 weeks after. Just wait and see

You don't know what is going to happen OP. In your shoes I would not plan anything.

10-14 days prior... That's quite specific... Are you having a c section to know date?

My eldest was nearly 2 weeks late, youngest early.... I wouldn't have been up for a wedding 2 weeks after either... Neither would baby.. I'd probably have been OK day 3-6 after 2nd as simple fast birth but by day 10 had gone down hill and back in hospital.

If it was my sibling and local wedding think I'd try to be there for ceremony (even if had to feed in church) and perhaps quick appearance later... But doubt more.
Wouldn't fit into anything remotely smart, or smart shoes (swelled feet), bleeding lots and struggling to contain milk...

Others seem fine though... You just can't tell...

Everyone has a different opinion about the germs / Covid so only you can decide that. But in regards to going with a 2 week old or that you think you'll be in pain. I'm sure you'll be fine. In August 2019 I attended my sisters wedding. Exactly 1 week after my daughter was born. As long as she was fed / changed, she just slept and I wasn't in any sort of pain at all. Had a really good time and ended up staying well into late evening, much later than planned.

I agree with others you won't know until it happens. I was back in the office for a walk around with baby 7 days after c section and my cousin came to a family wedding with a 6 day old.
Others have a harder time of recovery or a harder newborn and you just don't know.

There is absolutely no way of knowing. Babies are completely chaotic so even if you have an excellent day the day before the wedding in which you feel totally capable of attending an event, you could then have a nightmare for the subsequent 24 hours during which you can barely manage to get dressed much less leave the house. Or it could be the other way around. If your sister isn't angling to be crowned Bridezilla Queen of 2021, she will be totally chill about you playing it by ear on the day and coming if you can but very much not if it feels too much.

Wear the baby in a sling (if not recovering from a csec) - people are less likely to come and prod them.

Dont plan on giving any support to your dsis on the day - surely she can have someone else help her with her dress in the loo or whatever other practical support you were thinking of.

Buy a dress/top that facilitates breastfeeding (if planning to).

Accept that you may not even be there at all as may be in labour.

I agree with everyone else.

Can't help you with the concern about germs, even more so of course after the last 18months, but there is no way anyone can predict how you will feel.
12 days after dc1's due date, I was just coming out of hospital. I don't think I got dressed for about 10 days after that. There's no way I could be at a wedding.
OTOH, some people have really straightforward births, 2 or 3 weeks before their due date. They would probably be fine.

It will also depend on things like how far you have to travel and how the day is structured.

It will also depend on if the baby, and if you take to breast feeding, or to bottles; if they have reflux; if they have jaundice; if they are sleepers or screamers; etc etc.

Personally I'd say to my sister that is was going to be very unlikely I would be able to attend, but, of course if there was any possibility I'd come to the service to share in the most important part of the day, but that, until the day before, there would be no way of telling.

Thanks so much guys! The baby is due a month before the wedding so it will be at least 2 weeks old but you are right beyond that I have no idea. I do have outfits that I can feed in and a sling is a good idea. I will feel like I have done enough if I am in a couple of photos and help her up the aisle as there are other people for everything else.

Do you think the baby would be OK though? I am not planning on letting anyone near it beyond my husband and parents but I worry about being around so many people.

It depends how you feel.

I had sections, and certainly wasn't in any pain by two weeks, and had been wearing baby in a sling happily for 1 week and about 5 days.

But everyone is different. See how you feel when the baby is born.

I think if the baby is strapped to you in a sling all day they will be absolutely fine. At that age they sleep loads and just want to be as close to their mums as possible. If I were you id get one of those soft wrap type slings (I had a close caboo but there’s a new ergo baby one that looks even better) and just keep the baby in there. Wear a loose comfy dress and don’t take on any roles in the wedding at all.

I had 2 vaginal births with 2nd degree tears and would have been fine to go to a family wedding (perhaps not looking my best!) 2 weeks later.

I went to a close family wedding in Scotland with my three week old and I live in SE so it was a bit of a trek. I didn’t have any responsibility deliberately because I was going to be busy with the baby. Baby slept through most of it. I had a c-section and can’t remember being in pain.

With most things it will be both fine and you will manage each bit a bit at a time. If the baby needs feeding during the service you sit near the back etc.

Newborn babies are delicate - and caution regarding lots of people is sensible regardless of COVID but I also wouldn’t overly fret about it either.

Thank you! This is all really reassuring. I will see how it goes (and have a few conversations with family to prepare for not going if necessary) but feeling much more hopeful that we will be able to, at least for a bit. And I have a sling already so I will certainly use that if I do go!

I am not planning on letting anyone near it beyond my husband and parents

I think saying that is easier than doing it at an occasion like a wedding though.
By their very nature, there is a lot of standing (or sitting if you are lucky) around 'waiting' at weddings. During that time, people are expected to 'mingle', and, if there is a tiny baby there, people will naturally want to coo over the baby. I think the fact you have taken the baby to such an event, sends a signal you are okay with that. If you do not want people to be admiring your baby, I would suggest not taking him/her to a wedding at such a young age.

I realise people will answer with 'your baby, your choice' - which it is of course, but I think you will have to be very blunt to be clear that, despite the fact you have brought the cutest baby ever to a wedding, said baby is NOT to be admired by anyone. I don't think it will be very enjoyable, even if physically you are comfortable at that point, and you have established feeding and feel comfortable doing that out and about at that point - it really isn't as easy for most women as some people make out.

You won't know until it happens. Even if you had the baby some women bounce back after birth some not as fast. There is no way I could of gone two weeks after having my babies but I guess I'm not one of those who bounced back

I would go for the ceremony at least no matter how rubbish I felt if it were a siblings wedding. Your sister should be understanding that you may not want to be out for too long soon after birth.
Understandable for you not to want your baby passing around but I think it'd be out to not let people have a little look. Using the "it's my sisters big day" line may help divert their attention away from baby without you looking like you're being overprotective.

I went to a wedding at 4 weeks after DD’s birth. I still wasn’t feeling 100% healed but it was a lovely time, I just made sure I had a nice quiet place to feed and everyone was lovely. This was a wedding last September so limited numbers but Covid very much a ‘thing’ - DD didn’t get manhandled much as she slept for most of the day!

@Blueyelloworange how did this all turn out?? My sister's wedding is also exactly one month after my DD so having same set of concerns now. I'm a bridesmaid, it's an hour and a halfs drive away and we have a room in a house near the venue we can stay in... How did it turn out for you??? I'm making the same calculation that worse case scenario I'll have a two week old...

In the end the baby came a little early so he was 5 weeks old at the wedding. Overall it was fine and I'm glad I went, I was able to join in with all the main bits and carch up with relatives and we just left before the dinner at 6. The whole thing started at 8 am so that was quite a few hours in. I was still in a bit of a haze and spent much of the day and breastfeeding in a side room (as I wasn't confident to feed in public yet) but when not feeding, my son pretty much slept in daddy's arm or in the pram. So overall pretty good and no-one pushed me to let them hold the baby or anything. Babies are so small at that age that alot of people are afraid to break them, I think! The only dicey moment was that we hadn't thought through who would hold him while my whole family was in the wedding procession so he ended up being handed to a cousin. She has a baby too so she knew what to do, but it wasn't ideal. But overall it was good, and the photos are great!

@Blueyelloworange ah thanks so much for your reply 🧡🧡 sounds like it went great, and yes best case scenario would be around due date or slightly before so he'll be 4/5 weeks old at the time!! Out of interest, do you think you still would have made it through ok had you only been 2 weeks post partum?? I'm keeping my expectations on how much I'll be able to do pretty low, but if I can pop my head up a few times during the day that'll be grand 😂😂 xx

It varies so much by person and birth but yes, mine was quite straightforward and luckily DC managed to feed well straight away so yes I think I could have been there at 2 weeks though my head wouldn't have been in the wedding game!

@Blueyelloworange thanks ☺️🧡