Toddler haircutting trauma

[mag2305]

Hi, my ds is 2.9 and absolutely hates having his hair cut! Really hates it with a passion! We've given up with hairdressers even though the ones we did try were so patient and lovely. It was just an awful experience for all involved. Even sitting in one of those car things at a hairdressers wouldn't help.
So I've attempted the last few cuts at home myself. My dh has to bear hug my ds so I can do it. The screaming, tears and anger from ds are horrible and he's incredibly strong. Our neighbours must wonder what's going on when it's haircutting time. Tried coaxing ds with chocolate buttons but he sees straight through that.
I could let it just grow although he would still need his fringe done. Finger nails and toe nails aren't great either but he's slightly better. And we haven't even attempted the dentist yet but I know we should.

Any advice or tips? Anyone tried cutting hair whilst their toddler is asleep? I have thought about it but not sure.
Does this get better with age and more understanding?

My two year old has a ponytail.

Clean and brushed - that'll do us. I know not everyone likes longer hair on boys but it's an option if you decide this isn't a battle worth having.

My DS is like this at 4. I just cut it myself, it’s in a reasonably long style
He’s absolutely fine at the dentists 🤷‍♀️

Just don't cut it. Feral is good

I had one of these and we solved it by not bothering with the hair-cut and doing a form of man-bun or ponytail each day. Fringe doesn’t need to be cut (????), just let it grow out and use some clips meanwhile if you need to. Why make something such a big drama that doesn’t have to be a problem?

Like a poster above we had real fun with the dentist but that one we did persist with as it’s medically necessary. Took DH in the dentist chair bear hug style, me holding the head still and the dentist getting a look while they had their mouth wide open screaming. All four of us were shattered by the end of it and we ended up having to go as last appointment for the day so there was no one in the waiting room, and I dare say so the dentist could head straight off for a stiff drink. They were a specialised paediatric dentist as well, so not as though they didn’t have experience with kids.

I wouldn't mind my ds having longer hair but he's not keen on having it washed or brushed. But long hair would definitely go with his personality
At the moment, his haircut is like a scruffy, Beatles mop top, just by chance really, not intentionally, haha! Quite cute.

Can't help with the hair, but my experience with two kids is that the dentist doesn't particularly expect to get anywhere near them on their first few visits (although they do get a glance at their teeth when they cry 🙈). No expectation to sit in the chair or anything like that, but it's just getting them used to the whole experience. It was my daughters 4th or 5th appointment the other week (thanks Covid) and she happily sat in the chair and let the dentist put fluoride paste on this time. So proud!

Possibly helpful or possibly not - she had a doctors kit when she was a toddler which included one of those mirrors that dentists use. She loved ramming it in our mouths 😂 Her second or third dentist appointment she was screaming the place down and trying to get away until she saw the mirror and then she quite happily opened her mouth.

We've given up. He looks like he's emerged from a cave. It's just not worth the aggro. I'm sure he'll grow of it.

@SpamIAm that sounds like a good intro to the dentist. Our dentist is new but I've heard she's great with children so fingers crossed.

@Blippibloppi

We've given up. He looks like he's emerged from a cave. It's just not worth the aggro. I'm sure he'll grow of it.

Haha! Love this!

I think my son would resemble a young Heathcliff with his dark brown, unruly hair if it does grow longer. Lol

Mine was like this but what helped was a mobile hairdresser at home. Tv and jojo and gran gran hairdressers on CBeebies. Probably time helped too, older and gets it more.

I haven't attempted a proper cut with DD but we've had to do her hair. The first time she saw the scissors she freaked out but I showed her it was ok by "cutting" a bit of DH's hair and he did the same to mine. She was then ok with me doing hers. Not sure what I'd have done next if that hadn't worked though...

I have exactly the same problem with my toddler. The only thing I’ve found works is cutting it when he is in the bath. I let him play with the shower head and spray things. I think it cuts out a lot of the noise of the clippers.

I should add - they are battery powered - not plugged into the mains. That would be irresponsible

I'm going to second the 'pick your battles'. Dentist is a necessary thing, a haircut isn't.
My DC didn't have a haircut until around 4 years old.

Use a clipper as that is the easiest way to do it. Then bribery/going by stages. So first you get him used to just having the clipper going over his head not turned on (sweetie for accepting this)

Then you turn it on but just hold it near him. Another sweetie.

Then you turn it on and clip certain bits that he doesn't mind, working up to the more scary parts.

You don't have to do all stages on the same day.

But yes long hair is also a solution. I think it looks cute on little boys anyway :) The only thing is you have more drama washing and brushing it and keeping it out of their eyes... it is kind of a "pick which drama is worse" thing.

My friend carried her 2yo in fast asleep during his nap. The hairdresser was a bit but my friend explained and they did it with him half asleep!