My 12 m.o. doesn't like me any more

[EBenes]

For the last few weeks I've been working really hard - from home - and my mum has done almost all my child care, including giving dd her baths. She's always loved dd like crazy and I like letting her bath her because I want them to bond. But although dd still loves her dad madly (and he sees less of her than me!) she's taken to screaming when I pick her up or take her off dh or my mum. I still have fun with her and hiding games and running around games as well, but I feel rejected and sometimes hated by her. Do I have to muscle my way back in and demand that my mum stops bathing her and I do everything important again, or is this just a phase? Or - eek - has she just decided she doesn't really like me? I go back to being a full time mum again soon - but there are loads of working mums whose kids really love them!

Of course she doesn't hate you. She loves you but she will be affected by your mother having her and this is how she makes it known she wants you. She loves you so much she can be a rat bag for you. Hope things improve v soon.

Aw, thanks. It's really silly, but I love her so much and when I pick her up she's really angry and screamy and I can't believe I can feel so rejected by a stroppy little baby. I just have to not take it so personally, I think! Thanks so much, NAB.

Ah yes, I know what that is like, I have a 13 month old who howls when I leave and then ignores me when I come back.

Unless I offer her as nork, then she's my bestest friend in the world

She'll get through this, so will you. Can you have a half day out just with her once a week so you can focus on her and make her feel special?

God I could have written that OP, just talking to DH about it, getting depressed that she doesn't want to spend time with me, screams constantly, then I feel worse because that makes me feel what is the point of spending time with her becasue she doesn't want me, and then I get further down as DH (and I know in my head quite rightly) doesn't take it seriously and says I am being stupid. Off to bed Night all.

I think its part of being mum to be hated and rejected by our LOs, and not take it too personally

dd2 is 12 months tomorrow, and if dh gets her up in the morning, she'll ignore me for a good five minutes when I come downstairs...literally look through me! And has also started being screamy/frustrated/generally on a short fuse - toddlerhood has begun, even though she's far from toddling.

She loves you heaps, she's just making sure you love her no matter how she's feeling/behaving. Honest.

It is because she loves you so much she can show her narky side.

Thanks so much for these. sophiewd, it is exactly like that with dh, who thinks it's funny and talks about her looking for her 'real mum' when she goes to my mum and chuckling, and he is actually funny with it, but I take it a bit personally too. Is this just girls, I wonder, the little minxes.

When I used to leave DS with MIL he would not look at me for about two days after I came back and would be off with me for up to two weeks. Even now he will be really sulky and dismissive if he is gone too long and he loves it at his grand parents house. DD at 14 months on the other hand is just so happy to see me when I get back that I can t put her down. Think I would probably take back some of the responsibilities of bathing etc but that is just jealous old me. I think this probably means that she feels sure of you. Children like adults express emotions like anger and fear where they feel safest I think, ie in this case on you.