Out and about

[Mrsmope]

Please help, my DD is 30months old and when we are at home she uses the toilet or potty all the time. When out she tends not to use the toilet for wees therefore I have been using pull ups but these make her really lazy and she won't bother going to the toilet unless she needs to poo.

Also at nursery she started off really dry but has been wetting herself on a regular basis. When she does have accidents she tries to clean her dirty clothes in the sink and I am worried that she is getting embarrassed. Have put pull ups on her a few times at nursery so she won't keep having accidents but when I do I can tell that she hasn't bothered using the toilet. Please help!!!!!

What happens for example if you go shopping and she wees on the floor. Can't imagine how I would deal with it. I have tried reminding her and she just says she doesn't need to go and also not saying anything when out doesn't work either.

Take baby wipes to clean floors and spare clothes for her to change in to. Swapping between pants and pull ups will just confuse her and cause problems.

Hi there - poor you!

I agree with NAB3 that changing between pull ups and pants is possibly causing her to get confused and only adding to your problems. Could you manage a couple of days when you mostly stayed at home and have her just in pants to see if she could get more used to going to the loo to pee? I'm no expert (the number of times I've had to mop up pee / poo will prove that!) but most of the books I've read on potty training say that when you take a child out of nappies you should never put them back in (apart from at night) as it just confuses them.

When it comes to the shopping trip, one good tip I got from a friend was to try and put your child in clothes that will absorb as much wee as possible to try and minimise mess. When I was potty training my DD I often had her in tights and leggings so that if she did wee it would mostly be absorbed by her clothes.

..... and I have to say that I also used to bring a tea towel and a packet of dettol wipes with me, just in case....

I used to put my son in pull ups when we were out and he never told me he needed a wee, we would get home and I would go to put him back into pants and realise he had used the pull ups!

I think it does confuse them. Re being out, I used to take -spare change of clothes, hand towel, dettol wipes, carrier bag to put any wet clothes & towel in.

I used to be really scared of other people's reactions but to be honest I would rather he wee on the floor than have a complete tantrum. I have seen people use a portable potty and it didn't bother me, like when I see young girls and boys weeing outside because their mothers know that they aren't going to make it home. Now teenagers, that's another matter!!!

Your daughter will have accidents at nursery as they are so involved in what they are doing they forget to go, or they leave it till the absolute last second only to discover they miscalculated how long they could hold it in for (my 4.5 yr old still does this then dithers in front of the toilet)

Thanks for your advice, do think the pull ups are causing confusion. Next time we go out will just load up my bag to cope with any accidents that may happen.

Fingers crossed!

What about cloth trainer pants...she'll still feel wet but they will hold a small wee.

good idea is to plan ahead a bit. Think of what you will do if she asks to go in the middle of the street. Worst thing you can do is panic and will make her less likely to ask again the future.

scout out
for likely public loos
drains in quiet streets, passageways
good trees

bring plastic bags and wipes for poos

another trick is to pretend that you need to go when you pass a likely public loo, takes the pressure off a bit