2.5 year old behaving badly

[Pumpkinangel]

My LB is 2.5yrs old and just recently been ill with Croup, he is almost back to normal but still has a slight cough. Ever since his first day back at nursery on Thursday he just keeps biting, smacking, nipping and being naughty in general and when me and hubby tell him no or try to correct him he has a full on tantrum. He has never tantrumed like this before so I’m not sure where this has come from. Pretty sure I have picked up the croup now aswell as I’ve got a very sore throat/cough and cold symptoms now myself and just this morning hubby is the same and has almost lost his voice. Not sure if it is croup or bad hayfever so we both have short fuses at the mo aswell as just want to rest when we can. I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant so I am really tired aswell. Hubby just took son outside to play football and as soon as daddy gets the ball he tantrums and runs over saying “no daddy no I don’t want you to play”. He seems to keep rejecting my husband a lot this week so I feel I can’t properly relax at all Even tho I’m feeling like crap and am tried. Could this be a phase he’s going through or does anyone have any advice? We are trying to be really patient with him but it can be hard when we r both feeling ill ourselves. I’ve said to hubby we should stop telling him off as it doesn’t really do anything at the moment but makes things worse. Btw we don’t have covid we did tests to make sure. Just hoping for some reassurance this is not an uncommon thing/phase. Also, could it be that he knows the new baby will be coming soon hence the clingy ness with me? Help!!

Sounds like every 2 year old ever. Doesn’t mean it’s not hard work and incredibly frustrating.
Have you read ‘how to talk to little kids’? I found it helpful.

Sounds like he's still poorly, have you tried him with some Calpol to see if his mood improves?

I don't think 2.5 year olds are really naughty in the traditional sense, just frustrated. I wonder if he's feeling unwell still. I second calpol and a few really quiet days, feel zero guilt about letting him watch some tv etc! It's what we all do when feeling unwell.

Thanks for replying all, yes we have still been giving him calpol. This morning he has come into our room as normal and instead of laying with us nicely until we get up he started pulling the cover off my husband and then head butting him etc, husband got very upset as he is still unwell, he took Him back to him room and told him to stay there until he behaves and closed the door and safety gate. He hasn’t yet come out so I will go and check on him in a moment. Gosh I really don’t know why he is acting like this even first thing in the morning :( me and husband are feeling so drained. Problem is we have been letting him watch tv and the iPad (more than normal) for over a week now since he was ill, we don’t usually let him have the iPad much as this can cause him to have meltdowns when we take it off him so we limit how much time he is allowed on that usually. We have tried a lot of different things but now hubby is feeling bad cos he feels he’s classed as the baddie now

We have done the same with TV when DS is ill, completely understandable - and when we’ve been ill!
To be honest he does sound like a normal toddler going through a phase. We found when DS was poorly because he had had TV and lots of snacky things to eat because he was off his food so we just have him what he would eat, he clearly was keen for that to continue when he was better he did have a few strops about it, still does sometimes but we just consistently tell him
No.
I think being consistent is key as is just realising he’s probably resting boundaries at the moment. DS is younger than your DS but I’m fully expecting the terrible twos by the end of the year!

Have nursery given you any advice or help? How do they deal with it?

@Bellasblankexpression thank you for your reply, yes I’m sure it’s a phase. I haven’t yet spoken to nursery about it as Thursday last week was his first day back and he was fine. I think you are right re testing boundaries. My husband thinks the same in regards to him being allowed more tv, snacks etc and since he was ill last week. Our little girl is due in 8 weeks so we really want to try and get him back to his normal self sooner rather than later, I mean don’t get me wrong he does have off days as we all do but the last 3-4 days have really been tough. When I went back in his room this morning and checked on him after 15 mins being placed back in his room due to head butting daddy he was laid on his bed, I sat with him and explained that it wasn’t nice to head butt daddy as he’s not feeling very well. I said to
Him we should go and say sorry to daddy and give him a cuddle to which he agreed, he has since been in and done this so we are getting somewhere atleast. I think definitely trying the time out thing like this morning may help. So glad it’s not just me going through similar phase. I’ve been making sure I involve him as much as possible, so he has known about his sister arriving for some time, he talks to my tummy and tells her he loves her which is really cute. I’m going to get some little gifts from her to him when she is born and I’ve also said to in-laws that when she is born early sept that we would like a few days for just the 4 of us so he can get use to her being around before people start visiting and paying her attention, the last thing we want is for him to feel excluded etc.

My 2.5 year old DD is the same. I also have a 9 week old so it's been very stressful. Her full on tantrums appeared to get worse when the new baby arrived but it could just be a coincidence.
She is very intelligent but does struggle with getting her words out which often leads to her testing boundaries.

Nearly every time she is told no she screams and hits out at something (usually me or the sofa) she hits out with a smile on her face knowing she is about to get told off. Once she is told no again she screams and runs off to sit on the bottom stair (if we are at home) where she continues screaming until she either calms down or I go and talk to her - she won't accept her dad trying to comfort her.

It's hard work but she is so cute and funny when she isn't tired, hungry, ill, bored, testing boundaries, and when she isn't struggling to understand why she couldn't have the saucepan that I was cooking eggs in to play with at that exact second 🙄 (just one of yesterday's tantrums ) etc.....

We used to allow DD to play on a tablet when she was bored (mainly when I was heavily pregnant). After a while it started to become the cause of tantrums so it disappeared shortly before the new baby arrived. She still asks for it occasionally but is easily distracted now. She won't have it back until she can understand time limits as it's not worth the argument of trying to remove it (even when she is screaming at it).

I have been told that they eventually grow out of this phase 😬 I really hope that happens soon.

My husband thinks the same in regards to him being allowed more tv, snacks etc and since he was ill last week. Our little girl is due in 8 weeks so we really want to try and get him back to his normal self sooner rather than later, I mean don’t get me wrong he does have off days as we all do but the last 3-4 days have really been tough.

I really would let him watch CBeebies and have some nice drinks and snacks a few quiet days. You can worry about normality when you're all feeling better

As hard as it is being unwell and looking after children, he doesn't really understand you're poorly and you need to try to separate off his behaviour from how you're all feeling. We don't headbutt daddy because it's not kind, not just because he's poorly.

He's at a difficult age, has a sibling on the way, probably still feels a bit rotten and is perhaps getting different reactions from you both than he would normally get as you're unwell and struggling. It's quite a lot for him. Go easy on all of you. Have some easy days in front of the TV or take him to the park for a run around if he would be happy for you to sit and rest on a bench whilst he plays.

I'm no explert, but when I worked in a nursery there was a 3 year old who was an absolute grump all winter. He'd hit me, glare at me, talk back whenever I spoke to him.
When the weather improved, he suddenly became a much happier and better behaved little boy! I wonder if he had been feeling consistently under the weather all winter, which effected his behaviour. If your child has been recently ill, maybe he just needs to get back to feeling 100% himself again and his behaviour will improve accordingly..