Now dreading holiday with extended family

[HR313]

It was my dads 60th birthday in may and my step mum had kindly invited myself, my OH and 4 yr old along with her own son and daughter and her fiancée. She moved the holiday to July due to the ongoing restrictions etc. We are going to Center Parcs for a weekend break and we can now start booking activities.

I’m almost 30 weeks pregnant and not sure if it’s hormones and tiredness with looking after a 4 year old but my step sister is also bringing her dog along and we can’t get into the lodge until 4pm. We’ve booked a swimming slot for 3:30-5:30pm on the day we arrive - so she will still be able to join us once she’s left the dog at the lodge. However, her and her fiancé, my step mum and dad are going to the spa on another day. That leaves one swim slot left as we are only allocated 2 slots during our break. I logged onto our shared itinerary this morning to find my step mum has booked a swimming slot from 5:30-7:30pm on the Saturday!! I mentioned to her several times that my daughter has dinner at 6pm and we do bath/bedtime routine and she’s normally asleep by 8:30pm… am I being unreasonable in asking her to change to another day (unfortunately apart from the Monday we leave all the day time slots have already gone). I’m feeling really hurt and upset by this as she’s not taken into account I have a young child to sort out. They also never asked me or my partner if we wanted to book ourselves into the spa (whilst they have our daughter for a few hrs - not that I would go as can’t use many of the facilities due to being pregnant but still I always think it’s the thought that counts!) I’m not expecting them to care for our daughter whilst we are away but it would be nice for me and OH to have some time along together before the baby number arrives. I’m feeling really upset about it all. I hope I don’t come across as ungrateful though as it’s not the case - just feel disappointed my daughter hasn’t been taken into consideration with regards to timings of certain activities.

I had an amazing pregnancy massage at CP when I was pregnant with DC2. If they still do them, I reckon you deserve one.

Oh I was going to respond but then I notice your daughter is 4, so not really young like 2 or 3, she must be starting school in September? I’d definitely just roll with it. Totally understand your thoughts with a 1,2 or 3 year old but at 4 won’t she enjoy the different routine?

I'd say just go with it. If I remember correctly they sell chips at the swimming place? I'd buy her some chips at some point during the session and she can put her pyjamas on after the swim and hopefully will be tired to sleep at some point.

Bedtimes have always gone out of the window for my children on holidays and age 4 should be fine not being in a 'routine'.

One night out of routine for a child without special needs should not be a problem. She’s 4, not 4 months.
Did anyone ask your family if they would babysit for an hour or two??
Think your pregnancy hormones are making you a little unreasonable to be honest.

@Scaredycat87 I am extremely routine led but as a one off in a group situation sometimes I do compromise.

The issue is its a weekend only, not a week. You only get two slots per weekend per lodge and all of the lodge have to go at the same time. All due to covid.

I think that yabu.
If you choose to enforce that routine on your child still when away for a few days, that's your choice. But don't expect that everyone else should be restricted to your timescales.

I'm glad you've decided to go with the evening slot. I think I'd make it part of the fun of the holiday - a night time swim, what could be more exciting for a wee one? And really think you would regret going in the morning after you've given up the lodge as there's nowhere to change. You'd basically be getting back into your car to go home all damp and chloriney.

And just message the group chat and say 'oh, there's a spa slot for if me and DH grab it would you be able to look after the wee one?' How can they say no?

Appears that most people think me and my OH should work around extended family, not the other way round. Sticking to a routine works for us and our daughter. So this is what we will be doing whilst we are away m. It’s clear this doesn’t work for most people who have kindly taken the time to comment. Everything has been sorted now regarding what our plans for swimming 🙂 we will not be going in the spa and we will not be expecting anyone else to care for our daughter whilst we are on holiday 🙂

Your dd is 4 though, not 4 months. At 4, we took dd on a long haul holiday and she was up til 10pm many nights. Staying at the pool til 7:30pm will do no harm. Just have a late dinner and a heavy snack in the afternoon.

Your family aren’t mindreaders OP. If you want to go to the spa just ask if they will look after your DD, rather than get upset that they haven’t asked.

You seem to be getting more unreasonable as this thread goes on.

Booking slots is tricky. It probably wasn't done to annoy/exclude you. Your step-mother is probably trying making the best of what's on offer so you all have a good time.
At 4yrs old, surely some flexible fun for an evening???

If it’s bothering you imitation then please just refrain from posting. If you read some of my other posts you’d see that our plans are sorted now so I don’t see how that’s making me more unreasonable? I’m genuinely confused

It's not bothering me. I'm posting a response to your thread. That's how it works on here.

I think you are reading too much into this.

Most people forget (gladly) what it's like to have a four year old.

Many never bothered much with routines and would have just kept a child up late for a special occasion.

It's their celebration so they probably think what they want is a priority. I can see their point of view even if it wouldn't be mine.

Have you booked a dog chalet? You can't just rock up with a dog.

All the swimmers in a party have to turn up together at the start of a session as far as I remember.

Also if you want to change a swim session you have to give up your current slot before you can even see which other slots are available. Bit risky! I had to do this myself.

We are in two separate lodges - step sister, fiancée and step brother with dog in one lodge and myself, OH, daughter, dad and step mum in the other. It doesn’t matter now as it’s all been sorted.