1 year olds- what do you actually do all day??

[HadEnough8333]

What do SAHP do with your 12mo all day?? I'm really struggling right now. (Granted she's got a cold and is grumpy and harder work than ever). My 12 mo is always on the move, grabs everything, won't ever play with anything more than a minute. I have NCT mums telling me they're doing arts and crafts, playing with blocks as an "activity", play dough, putting shapes into muffin trays, etc etc. These things would literally last a minute with mine, she try to chew everything and then she'd want to move on.

Before 11 mo I said I felt she had a happy and relaxed temperament. She used to sit and read books with me for 15 minutes. Now she won't get to the end of her favourite books. She just pushes them away.

I even googled what to do with a 12mo and there were a list of "activities" which mine just wouldn't sit through. Eg playing catch. Yes that works - for about two throws each before she gets bored.

I take her for walks in the buggy and sit out in the park so she can roam - she enjoys that. We don't have a garden and live in an open plan flat so I think she gets frustrated at having no go areas even though I've tried hard to child proof everything!

But when it's raining or we've exhausted the park what do you do all day??? I tried baby groups but they were set up for obedient babies or newborns, not toddlers.

Help!!! Is your 12mo like this???

Mine was exactly like that. That’s among the reasons she went to nursery full time! I’m afraid I have no advice but I completely relate to everything you say and I was always baffled about the whole thing.

Everything you said of pretty normal. It can be very frustrating though!

Take what the NCT mums do with a pinch of salt. They may do the activity. But only for a couple of minutes.

Any stay and play playgroups re-opened? They tend to be more toddlers than little babies. Swimming?

In terms of how we full our time....Stacking cups are a hit here atm www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/lamaze-pile-play-cups-e6802.html
Also gathered a little collection of recycling in a linen bag in the kitchen and she goes through that while I'm in there. Gives me a few minutes. An empty bottle or pot with dry rice or beans in for a shaker. Failing all that my handbag is apparently fascinating 😂
We do have a garden, so slide/swing and sandpit. She also loves just a bowl of water and s few toys - putting things in and out. Could you lay a shower curtain and towels down and do that indoors?

We used to go to 1 o'clock club every day apart from Sundays from 10-2pm. Thank God for those places. Anything similar near you or play groups?

Free range type toddler groups are brilliant for this age - the ones where you just kind of turn them all loose on a big pile of toys in a church hall and drink coffee. Maybe there's a song or something but nothing any more structured than that (or the activity part is totally optional).

Likewise meeting up with other mums for "playdates" - the kids don't play together at that age, but they love having new toys to be let loose on and you can be reasonably sure that the houses where other 1yo's live are babyproofed and the adult drinks are caffienated. Do you have an arrangement to meet with the NCT group once a week? It's a good age to do this for whoever hasn't gone back to work. I think we swapped from coffee shops to rotating each others' houses at about this age, probably a bit younger, whe they started crawling. (This was all pre-corona).

If you can childproof as much as you can at home it works quite well just to let them potter about and play with stuff / explore stuff and you can get on with other stuff, whether that's housework kind of things (even let them "help" - it takes 2-3 times as long but it fills up the day). DS2 liked Mega Blocks at that age and anything with buttons/that makes a noise. I try not to get too into being the sole entertainment, because IME then they just badger you constantly until you entertain them or stick the TV on. It's great if you can let them loose to explore a bit and get bored sometimes - they do quickly find something to do. I think it can also help to be a bit laid back about mess etc. I never bothered too much if they pulled all the DVDs down because we could just tidy them up again later. I did keep things like books which can be ripped higher up out of reach.

It can be good to kind of alternate - I see toddler activities in three different categories -

something I have to be actively involved in (like colouring or singing or tickling or pulling them around in a washing basket or whatever)

something I am semi-involved in while doing other things (like supervising something like rice play while on phone/watching TV, or doing some household chore and you give them a little version to "do" themselves - folding laundry/cleaning surfaces (give them a little cloth and later a water spray bottle)

something I can set up or just leave them to it and do something else while keeping an eye/ear open (even if that's just sitting down with a cup of tea).

Oh and activities that involve going out. Going out for me is basically half the day taken up. So I try to go out at least 3x per week whatever it is - park / walk / soft play / playdate / toddler group / swimming / local animal park or free museum / shops and the rest of the time I alternate the level of involvement I need to have on the activity. Mealtimes and naps break up the day as well.

Tuff trays seem to be popular on MN - it means you can set toys out in an inviting way overnight so that they have a kind of starting point in the morning and it contains messier things if you want to invite that into your house.

Great advice from Bertie

I agree you need to find the more free flow baby groups, sometimes called 'stay and play'. Often in a church hall run by other mums or old ladies. Have a cup of tea while your baby roams from activity to activity, which is exactly what she wants to do.

Also, totally agree with playdates with other babies. They're happy to see a new face/play alongside each other and you can get some adult company.

Softplay also good for this age (avoid weekends and rainy school holiday days as it will be packed!). Maybe look for one that is quite small and you won't bump into as many school kids.

Swimming is another great energy burner.

You can also just lean in to what she likes. Give her a box of stuff to look through/tip out. Even if she spends 1 min on each item, you can get 10/15 mins. Google treasure baskets for ideas of what to put in there. To slow down the unpacking you can put stuff within other stuff (a rattle in a box, a ball in a bag, a bell in a cup etc.)

Sorry, I am knackered and off to bed but just wanted to thank the pp's for these ideas and suggestions. So helpful and I'm going to have another read through and get prepping ahead of next week. Thank you again!

My DD was just like yours. If your LO likes to be outside then take advantage. Go to the park, go for walks, take her to outdoor things in your area. My LO is 19mo and I dont think she has the patience to do things like bake or play dough or draw. She's an active baby and loves exploring. Show your LO sticks and flowers and dogs running around. Dont give yourself more work trying to force them to do things they don't enjoy (yet!). In the house (we also live in a flat) I would encourage my baby to do active games like reach for balls on the fire guard or crawl through a pop up tunnel I bought on amazon. Or get toys out of a box and once the floor is covered play "where is the....bunny...lion....red ball...." I also gave her lots of plastic bowls from the kitchen to play with - just piled them up with little toys inbetween on the kitchen floor and let her investigate. If it helps my favourite thing for my LO to do right now is play with a bag of potatoes putting them in and out of different sized cups. Doent have to be fancy, just try different things and pay attention to what they find interesting...