9.5 month old regressed with name recognition. Autism Concerns

[Katewillows1]

Hi All, I'm the Mum of a 9.5month old DS. He was doing really well with turning to his name since about 7 months old but this past few weeks he's flat out ignoring us. Today I was literally yelled his name 11 times to no avail. He's a fairly happy boy. Makes good eye contact, smiles (mainly just at his parents). He's a little stand-offish with most people and doesn't smile really at people outside of his family. He reaches up to be picked up and has just started waving, although very intermittently. No pointing or clapping as yet. He's fairly vocal, ranging between screams and yells to mild babbling. He's quite independent and happily crawls around the house doing his own thing. Is fine to be left alone.

My main concern is that his lack of response to his name at this age is a key indicator for autism. Like I mentioned, he was doing really well and has now regressed to completely ignoring us.
Has anyone else found their LO started responding to their name and then regressed?Thanks so much x

Might be different frequencies? I would definitely be really firm on saying you want a hearing test. You have to be firm to get them sometimes.

Great advice, I will for sure.
Out of interest, how do they test 9 month olds hearing?

They do reward audiology!! It’s amazing - I will try to find you a link

See VRA at this link

www.nhs.uk/conditions/hearing-tests-children/

He can probably hear you perfectly just the novelty has worn off and something else is more interesting. He’s at an age where he’s starting to discover and interact with the world around him - if you’re repeatedly trying to get him to turn to his name he’s probably just focusing on something else

I would keep trying to get him to do it by shouting his name, that’s confusing for him, I’d just use his name naturally when I talked to him and not worry too much. Nine months is still very young and there’s a reason they don’t refer for autism until children are older.
I’m pretty sure my DS wasn’t always responding to his name at that age and he definitely has selective hearing now!

@Bellasblankexpression
Yes agree, I need to call him in a more natural way. I think my anxiety has taken over and now I'm constantly testing him. I do know that some babies can exhibit autistic symptoms from infancy - which has concerned me a bit

Please rip up those milestone lists. They are an indicator, that is all. My 18 month old at various times has stopped responding to her name. Today she wilfully ignored me at least 8 times as she knew she was doing something she shouldn't. I have no autism concerns. Babies do these things. She is my 3rd and they've all gone through phases of it. Please relax and enjoy your little boy.

He is a bit young to be given a label.

My child consistently wasn't doing one or two of the things on the list, but was doing some on the next list. She always got there in the end, I really wouldn't worry at this age! Sometimes those lists are more trouble than help.

@Katewillows1 I think the thing to remember is that all babies exhibit “autism symptoms” at some point but the key thing is whether they keep doing them/ the “symptoms” get worse as they get older. Stimming for example - I know a few friends who’ve had babies who have done this on and off in different phases but it wasn’t constantly and they stopped doing it after they had moved on to the next thing.

Op whilst you’re at the dr I think you need to seriously talk to someone about your anxiety. Constantly testing a baby for name recognition is not healthy, and it’s not fair on your child. He should be able to be a baby with off days and not have to perform because you’re anxious.

Please speak to your dr.

I think, with the best will in the world, that you need to pull yourself together. Screaming your child’s name 11 times is not normal or helpful - your anxiety is the issue here, not his hearing or potential ASC.

Also, you really need to stop acting like autism is equivalent to cancer or AIDS. My DS did wave, point and respond to his name at that age. He also happens to have ASC. Our child psychologist always says “if you’ve met a child with autism, you’ve met one child with autism” - it’s not a cookie cutter diagnosis and every child with ASC is different so it’s pointless endlessly trying to symptom spot until there really is a sign there’s an issue.

Finally at 4 years old, my autistic child is funny. He’s clever. He’s kind. He’s affectionate. He gives the best cuddles and has a penchant for an outlandish hat. He loves horses and dogs, and a spicy curry. His favourite colours are yellow and pink, and he loves Moana and Fireman Sam. He is no less of a person because he also happens to have autism, and it’s not a death sentence. Even if your DS does turn out to have autism, there is nothing wrong with him, just different, and he’s still him.

Apologies if I've offended anyone with my concerns for my child. I have obviously struck a nerve and I'm sorry.
I do have severe anxiety over my baby as it took me years to have him and we nearly lost him at 23wks due to my water breaking. As a result, being a MTM has been hard. I truly appreciate all of your messages and advice and once again I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.

If you’re repeatedly calling his name to test him but aren’t then following up his response with something interesting/ rewarding he has probably just learnt that his name is not worth responding to. Only use his name when you want to get his attention to something motivating (Eg: a snack, a toy etc), once he realises his name is being used to alert him to something fun and not just as a test he is likely to stop ignoring you.

@BillyIsMyBunny
That's great advice and makes perfect sense. Thank you

Let’s not all pile onto a worried FTM ok?

OP - Mumsnet is great for tons of things but it’s terrible if you have developmental concerns about your baby. My DD has some additional needs which were there as quirks from birth - one of which was she didn’t laugh for ages. Mumsnet just handed me my arse every time I asked about those quirks and told me I was being ridiculous/ neurotic. Not so much as it turned out.

That said, those PP who say that saying his name repeatedly is lessening the impact are probably right. Also that milestones are a guide. I don’t know how’s your Health Visitor is, mine was excellent. If you trust her have a chat with her. You’ll be advised to watch and wait for a bit I imagine. In that time if you can have more days like the one you’ve just had, with no pressure, all the better. Your DS is lovely and us the person he is meant to be. Trust in that.

@Robotindisguise thank you so much for your supportive words. I feel like a total lunatic after reading half of these messages. Definitely won't be putting something like this on this forum again.
Great advice about speaking to a HV, I most definitely will xx

You’re not suffering from anxiety as far as I can see. Those posts should be removed

@endofjune Sorry do you mean my posts? Apologies if I've offended you

No, sorry I meant posts stating you were the problem.

@Katewillows1 please don’t be afraid to ask for help! You’ll always always get posters jumping on you whatever you post, it’s the nature of forums!

You’ve been doing what you thought was best, don’t feel mad or bad about it.

I understand how you feel as I had a bit of a journey until we had DS and it has left me with some anxieties. It may be helpful to seek counselling (that’s what I did) not because you sound in a terrible way or anything but it really does give you coping techniques to help try to manage it. The thing with babies and children I’m
Learning is that there is ALWAYS SOMETHING to worry about. Always.
So if you’re prone to anxiety like me, it’s handy to have that extra support in your back pocket.

Apologies if you already have, and again please don’t feel like a lunatic. We all absolutely have our moments!

I commented gown thread but to add more info , my son and his 2.5 and he has relatively high needs autism. My experience with the health visitors was when I flagged concerns around 14 months, they sent me to the BBC website to look at communication activities, at that point I didn't find them any help at all, but hopefully you might have a different experience. But just to prepare yourself I think the message will be just to wait and observe behaviours, it's always helpful to understand what traits or markers they are looking for, as I think there is quite a bit of misinformation. For example when people found out that our son had that make no sense some of them couldn't believe it because he smiles a lot and his cuddly, but these are not markers that they are looking for.

@doadeer Thanks for the message. May I ask what indicators I should perhaps be aware of? I will definitely make a point of not focusing too much on them and looking for issues in my boy, but it would be helpful to know what may be things to consider. Thanks so much again xx

So they look across

Communication and play
Social interaction
Reptitive behaviours

For us it was
No pointing
No copying or mirroring
Couldn't follow simple instructions
His babble followed a different sound path
Didn't respond to name
Wasn't very communicative of needs
No interest in others
Sensory seeking
Likes intense contact
His play is very distinctive lots of moving objects around and doesn't do role playing. At the paediatrician appointment he moved spoons around for 30 mins
Restricted diet