Weaning off breast feeding

[mumofboysxo]

Hi all,

I'm currently breast feeding my 1 year old 4/5 times a day, on top of that he's not sleeping a wink at night because he wants to be comforted and the only way he does that is by feeding.

I have a wedding at the end of July and my 1 year old is staying with my mum for the night and a wedding every other month for the next year or so (some he can come with me)

I want to introduce a bottle of milk so that she can feed him and he doesn't go without does anyone know how I can do this?

I've been offering him milk in a beaker throughout the day for months but he doesn't drink it and he's not a massive meal eater either!

I think I may be coming to the end of this bf journey as much as I don't want to but I'm not sleeping at all and have 3 children that need me to function daily!
I've tried all different baby bottles all different cups and different milks (formula,soya milk, whole milk)

Any tips or help would be greatly appreciated I feel I have no idea what to do if all fails I just won't attend the wedding but want him to Atleast have the option of having a bottle if I'm not around!

Can you leave baby with someone else for a few hours? They are more likely to take a cup from someone else.
As for the wedding, as they're not exclusively bf they would be fine to miss a feed or 2.

@Beamur he's been left with people before for a few hours at a time and he usually just misses a feed and has it when I get home but for the wedding I won't be coming back to him, he will be at my mums for the night.
I'm just worried all he will do is cry for milk especially at night that's my main concern, during the day snacks can fill him up but at night he will be hungry for milk!

My 10 month old won’t take a bottle either and I am exhausted with night wakings etc. I’m going to wind down bfeeding completely at 12 months and swap a feed at a time with cow’s milk. If you feel like your bf journey is over with this baby there’s no shame! Go to the wedding, have a great time would be my advice.

I think lots of bf babies will have no truck with cups and bottles!
I went back to work when DD was 9 months old and was the same. I continued to bf when I was home and she didn't starve.. they might grumble a bit but if you're not there hunger is a powerful motivator. DD settled without milk when I wasn't around.

I think just accept it can't be you who tries the bottles etc.

Imagine you're on a diet and someone holding two delectable chocolate cakes keeps asking if you'd like a salad. You'd probably want a cake.

Can you leave home overnight before the wedding? Try your mum staying over and responding to him instead of you?

In all reality one night won't kill him. He won't be happy but he'll manage.

I'm currently night weaning my 2 year old. I'm sleeping great my DH and DD2 are up and down. Do what works for you.

@Beamur

I think lots of bf babies will have no truck with cups and bottles! I went back to work when DD was 9 months old and was the same. I continued to bf when I was home and she didn't starve.. they might grumble a bit but if you're not there hunger is a powerful motivator. DD settled without milk when I wasn't around.

Did you feed as normal when you was home? I'm cutting down his day milk but he's not happy about it, but I don't know if I should just feed when he wants it. I've cut him down to morning lunch and bed but he doesn't want to feed more even if I try and replace with snacks!

@Laserbird16

I think just accept it can't be you who tries the bottles etc.

Imagine you're on a diet and someone holding two delectable chocolate cakes keeps asking if you'd like a salad. You'd probably want a cake.

Can you leave home overnight before the wedding? Try your mum staying over and responding to him instead of you?

In all reality one night won't kill him. He won't be happy but he'll manage.

I'm currently night weaning my 2 year old. I'm sleeping great my DH and DD2 are up and down. Do what works for you.

I'm going to try her putting him to bed while I pretend to be out and see how he goes! It's only me at home so makes it easier to just feed when he wants so I can carry on doing what I'm doing! But I know that's not working for him as he hardly eats food but always has milk!

I just worry about him being hungry and me not being around to feed him 🥺

Yep. I worked four (slightly shorter) days when I went back to work. Just bf as usual on the days I was home. Breasts slightly uncomfortable for a few days but adjusted to the routine remarkably well. Night weaned at about 14 months because I was knackered, but continued to bf until DD was just over 2. I had not expected to extend feeding that long but it worked for us. It was a really nice way to reconnect and relax after work.

I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself. I think day feeds and night feeds are very different.

It sounds like night weaning is your priority as you're not sleeping well in general. It can be done (even if you are delectable) just offer water, say hoodies have gone to sleep and weather the upset. I don't know how much help you have but could your mum take the kids in the morning and you could just get a few uninterrupted hours to help you through

Not eating...as long as they're generally healthy and growing again I wouldn't put pressure on yourself. My oldest DD seemed to only eat yoghurt and breastmilk and was enormous. I'm not exactly sure how she managed it. Maybe consider not restricting access to the breast while night weaning though? Allow him to get comfort/calories in the day and perhaps get yourself a delectable chocolate cake.

Boobies!

I had this with DS when he was the same age. He just wouldn’t leave me alone and I was done with breastfeeding. I had to go on some strong medication and had to stop breastfeeding immediately. I just stopped one day and he never went for me again. If he was wingy I would usually just get my boob out but got my husband/Mam/my dad to distract him and it worked well. If he’s hungry or needs milk and you’re not there then I’m sure they will cope. He won’t starve or dehydrate, he will take a sippy cup if he gets thirsty enough.

That said, my DD is now 1 and I want to stop breastfeeding (really similar set up to you) and she is holding on for dear life

I’d forget offering milk in a beaker/cup/whatever. I’d night wean first (there are various methods from gentle with less crying to quick, likely with more crying). By doing that, he’ll no longer be reliant on you for sleep and his appetite might just improve. Could be coincidence, but when we cut out the 8+ breastfeeds a night at about 10 months my DS started eating 3 proper meals,
drinking water reliably and sleeping +++ better. Still has never taken milk in any other receptacle though!

Unless you are desperate to pack in breastfeeding completely, at 1 he should be fine with food and water from someone else why you are away. You can breastfeed when you are with him but with limits - start with 4 feeds a day max or whatever you are comfortable with and reduce to stop whenever you want.

Good luck.

I had to night wean just after 2 and it's not solved the night issues just changed them. She's not a great eater and still gets hungry in the night so needs actual food which takes a lot longer, also she shaved an hour off her sleep at night because I wasn't boobing back to sleep so... it's not always the best solution. Also I might weaned 2 months ago and she still whines for milk and won't take a bottle/cup of milk.

Worst case you just have to keep feeding solids all hours, it's shit but 🤷‍♀️

@Laserbird16

I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself. I think day feeds and night feeds are very different.

It sounds like night weaning is your priority as you're not sleeping well in general. It can be done (even if you are delectable) just offer water, say hoodies have gone to sleep and weather the upset. I don't know how much help you have but could your mum take the kids in the morning and you could just get a few uninterrupted hours to help you through

Not eating...as long as they're generally healthy and growing again I wouldn't put pressure on yourself. My oldest DD seemed to only eat yoghurt and breastmilk and was enormous. I'm not exactly sure how she managed it. Maybe consider not restricting access to the breast while night weaning though? Allow him to get comfort/calories in the day and perhaps get yourself a delectable chocolate cake.

Thank you this is so helpful!

He's my 3rd baby but the only baby I've breastfed and I feel like a new mum all over!

I'll just feed him as Normal day time but wean off the milk for night, Atleast if he's not wanting milk at night I'll know he's getting a good sleep even if he's not with me and can fill up on solids if I'm not around!

How do I night wean? Sorry sounds silly but I've never had to do it before!!

@TonkinLenkicks

I had this with DS when he was the same age. He just wouldn’t leave me alone and I was done with breastfeeding. I had to go on some strong medication and had to stop breastfeeding immediately. I just stopped one day and he never went for me again. If he was wingy I would usually just get my boob out but got my husband/Mam/my dad to distract him and it worked well. If he’s hungry or needs milk and you’re not there then I’m sure they will cope. He won’t starve or dehydrate, he will take a sippy cup if he gets thirsty enough.

That said, my DD is now 1 and I want to stop breastfeeding (really similar set up to you) and she is holding on for dear life

Exactly that he will not leave me alone!

I just feel awful knowing he's crying in the night for milk incase he's actually hungry 🥺

I'm a big wimp when it comes to him crying I've had nights where ive not slept a wink because he's wanted to be held!

But we do everything for our babies to make them happy don't we but at this rate I'll be breastfeeding him before he starts school in the mornings!!

You should night wean. It's tough but doable.

With my first, who was tricky, I had to leave the room with her. She started understanding that in the living room she was not going BF at all, so slowly slowly she started just falling asleep in the sofa and I would take her back to bed. And then she just stopped waking up in the middle of the night.

At 1 isn't your child eating properly? I BF my kids until 3, but by 1 it was very little and mainly before sleeping

@grey12

You should night wean. It's tough but doable.

With my first, who was tricky, I had to leave the room with her. She started understanding that in the living room she was not going BF at all, so slowly slowly she started just falling asleep in the sofa and I would take her back to bed. And then she just stopped waking up in the middle of the night.

At 1 isn't your child eating properly? I BF my kids until 3, but by 1 it was very little and mainly before sleeping

He's not a massive eater to be fair and I'm probably bf 4/5 times a day, he will have his 3 meals and snacks but barely eats any of it But some babies aren't massive eaters all 3 of my children have been different. I may notice a difference with his eating once he stops feeding so much!

True. Some kids take to eating better than others.

I was asking because if he was eating well then you being away would be less of an issue