Toddlers not listening with dad

[pommepommefrites]

I have been living separately from DH for the last few months due to a huge backstory. We have twins aged 3.

My issue is when we take the children out for the day, they completely ignore me, will not listen to my instructions or what i ask them to do and tell me to go away if I try and play. It's all daddy, daddy, daddy and in all honestly it makes me feel resentful. It's very upsetting but I know they are very young so it's probably not malicious it's just how they are feeling but I just don't understand why they are doing this and how can this be rectified? I don't want them to associate me with only do the dirty, hard, horrible bits and then Disney dad comes along to be the star of the show.

(English isn't my first language, sorry for any errors)

If he's not with them a lot then going out with him is new and exciting. They want dad because they don't get him a lot (he's like a new toy which comes out rarely).
They want to show daddy things because they show you things all the time. They also know you are there and are more secure in their bonding to you. Most of it is look new toy, but some is testing him to see if he responds and how he responds.

Hello OP, if this helps in any way, I live with my DH and he is still our son's reason to run home! I actually adore this, you know the love he has for his dad (I know it's different when parents are separated and there is some bitterness in the previous relationship etc).

But what I wanted to say is mum is always mummy, and yes we are the ones that constantly remind reprimand change nappies brush teeth and all that and daddy is always the Disney dad! Even when he lives in the same room! I just enjoy the break I can get when he takes the little one out to the park to look at diggers.

Maybe send him out with the kids solo and enjoy a hot bath?

@negomi90 thank you, I hoped this is what it was too, but part of me was worried that they had picked it learned some behaviour from him towards me as his depression led him to be abusive to me.

@ZooKeeper19 yes, I think if he was a better dad and partner I wouldn't have this resentment that I feel. Thank you, sounds like you have a lovely home life.