4 year old behaviour

[user1465146157]

Hi
I'm a bit concerned that our dd is quite secretive / quiet about her day at nursery.

I want her to tell me at least how her day has been but we get one syllable on a good day. She's acting a bit different lately and says that some other children hit each other and say bad words and she thinks it's funny. She seems to be very impressionable as well.

I didn't expect this kind of thing at 4!

Any tips on how to open up a dialogue? And also on how to encourage not following the crowd? Is this usual before starting school? She's just a bit cheekier and not herself. Possibly just growing up but she's still so young and it feels too early for this!

Thanks

How do you ask her at the moment? Some questions that get my dd talking are:

• tell me something that made you laugh today
• who did you sit with at lunchtime?
• sing me a song that you sang today Can you tell me the story that x read you on the carpet Etc

We have a running joke with DD (12) that whenever we ask her how something has been she answers with good. every single time. She will often in her own time tell me things but she is 12

DS tells me what he wants to when he wants to.

Honestly if you were asked as soon as you saw someone to recount your day would you want to? She has lived it, she has no desire to relive it.

If i ask my child how his day was at nursery, his response is - OK. What did you have for lunch - can't remember.
So I have to ask open questions....
What was your favourite thing that happened today?
Who did you play with?

I tell DS about my day, he then tells me about his and we use questions like the above ones as well.

I think the cheeky thing at the end of nursery is very normal - certainly DS was a total pain at this time. I think it's outgrowing nursery together with worries about school.

How do you do pick up? I drive to nursery but I've started parking a short walk away and that walk back to the car actually helps open up the chat and gives her a bit of time to relax I think - I usually get very little from DD on the walk (apart from to discuss if there is an interesting truck) but usually by the time we get in the car I can't shut her up.

I also find telling her about my day helps and gives her clues as to what I might be interested to hear - so I might talk about seeing a friend and then she'll tell me about a friend at nursery.

My DD doesn’t tell me huge amounts about nursery if I ask generally - I ask her questions like - what was your favourite thing you did, what was the most fun part of your day, who did she play with, what she did she like about her lunch and it prompts conversation but they do so much in nursery that I think she forgets a lot of it.
She’s also a bit cheekier and I think school will help with that as I’m wondering if they’re getting to be big fish in a small pond

Completely normal. DD1 will let me what she had for lunch and snack and that’s it. Now she is in reception some times she tell me about the games she played.