Lost my temper at baby..feel absolutely awful

[wiggleshasmylife]

My life is shit and hard at the moment. Not even gonna pretend it'd all sunshine and rainbows. Working crazy stupid hours, no childcare. Feel free to check post history if want full recap

I'm full of cold. Had a covid test and negative so have to work. Been at.work since 3 am and finished at 1..collected baby from husband at 1. He went to work. Baby wouldn't sleep. Shes overtired. She smacked me full on in the face and it really hurt. I started to cry and just yelled at her to stop it. She started to cry and then she fell asleep on me. I feel like the world's worst mum. I feel like i don't deserve her. I just feel like I've had enough. I'm sick of working the stupid hours. I have to work the stupid hours to pay for things. Husband has to work nights. We have no childcare. Couldn't afford to put her into nursery.

I'm burning out. And I just wish I could disappear..I've had enough

@Thebuggerlugs usually I fall asleep on the sofa out of exhaustion. I make my daughters tea. Put her to bed And then I eat after. Usually something quick and simple..blink and my husbands home. I do need to get in the habit of going upstairs.

My boss has mentioned the bike scheme before. I'll speak to him tomorrow. That would make things a little easier.

I know I'm close to burning out. I just want to do my best for my child and my wellbeing doesn't even enter my head. I know I shouldn't have lost it with her today but she's really pushed and pushed today. Shes in bed now thankfully.

I bounced my DD really angrily in her bouncer once as a knackered new mum. I still feel guilty today but DD obviously doesn't remember.

When I was fully knackered when she was tiny, I used to have a bath with her, eat my tea with her (usually beans on toast which we'd both have) then go to bed when she did.

Look after yourself

So I got sent home sick from work. I'm so snotty and congested. Definitely not covid..would it be wrong to just curl up with her and watch films all day?

@wiggleshasmylife

So I got sent home sick from work. I'm so snotty and congested. Definitely not covid..would it be wrong to just curl up with her and watch films all day?

That is EXACTLY what you should do!