1 year old help

[Belfast1985]

Looking for non-judgemental help and support as I'm exhausted. I know every mum has been here before. My LO has just turned 1. I'm finding this age much harder than newborn - I know that's normal. She's a really independent LO, always running off in the park, never looks back to her mammy and confident to go over to strangers and anyone really. It's lovely she's so confident as we were worried the lockdowns could have held her back. Problem is she's also really really wilful and determined and I'm not confident how to manage this at this age. We live in a city flat so no space to fence off areas. I have baby proofed as far as possible but for example she pulled off a bit of loose skirting board in the kitchen today, she ripped a flap out of her book, she pulls books off the shelves (I replaced with her books), she throws cup off high chair, she always wants whatever is not hers and it's exhausting. She's biting etc and also refusing food or spitting out milk from her cup.

I feel like this behaviour sounds 'naughty' but at the same time she's just 12 months so not sure if she has concept of naughtiness yet. I've tried getting down on her level and saying no, biting hurts mammy, ow, / we look after our books etc. But she just does it again and again. Pretty sure this is normal for 12 months but maybe not?

As a home we are chilled and calm. I've never heard my husband raise his voice in all the years I've known him. We don't allow screens and we don't shout. She's always had a very structured day routine, naps, bedtime etc. We give her lots of love and attention. I've started taking her to groups and classes now they're open. (She's always the one running around). So I don't feel like she's acting out because of any stress at home or lack of attention or anything. She just seems so independent and wants to fo it all herself. Refusing to allow me to dress her, pulling vest back off her head etc. Again this is probably common? I'm finding it completely exhausting though.

My own mother is very strict and old fashioned and would have smacked me at this age. Therefore I don't want to ask her advice and I've got no-one else to ask.

These things you describe are all totally normal. I have a very energetic, very mobile 1 year old too (12.5 months). It's constant, all day. I can't take my eyes off her for a second because she's darted somewhere else in the room and is getting up to some mischief.

Re the biting, does it coincide with a day you think she might be teething? I find that is the case with mine. Also, a firm "no biting" each time seems to be starting to work.

It's difficult at this age because they aren't being naughty, not deliberately anyway, but their behaviour isn't desirable either.

I've removed books with thinner flaps and only left the thick card ones for her. If she chucks her bottle then I assume she isn't thirsty and put it in back away in kitchen till end of meal and she has another drink. I talk her through getting dressed or sing nursery rhymes and that seems to help us. But she doesn't lay nicely, I have to do it all standing up.

Mine doesn't sleep well at night or nap times so it's all pretty full on and exhausting! Hang in there, it'll get better!

Thanks @RichTeaCheddars good to know I'm not the only one. At baby groups I feel like my baby is the most boisterous / determined to crawl off etc.

She's also got a cold this week so she's feeling rotten and not happy. Exhausted!

Biting is everyday, regardless of if I think there's specific teeth coming through.

We've booked a holiday to Madeira in August which I luckily booked last year, but when I booked I only booked two airplane seats thinking babies fly free. At the time I had no idea of how big and physical she'd become. Now I can't imagine being able to sit her in my lap for a flight! Scared now and thinking we should book an extra seat for her.

Sounds normal, op. Exhausting but normal.

My little boy was the same at 1 but he did settle down by 18 mths ( sorry if that's no help right now!)

Sounds like you are doing everything pretty perfectly, maybe take a Montessori approach perhaps (Simone Davies book/podcast)

So in terms of dressing, she would have a little basket of age/weather appropriate clothes and dress herself with help from mammy, for example.

She sounds lovely, the biting might just be a bit of teething, again my little one bit me at the same age, I thought maybe the mummy smell was soothing somehow?! He didn't bite anyone else.

Hth op xx