13.5 month old constantly miserable

[Vicky1989x]

My DD is miserable from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed and it’s exhausting. I don’t know how to make her happy and it’s really getting me down.

She’s always been like this. Had bad reflux from 5 weeks and still has it now, doctors not interested and said she’d grow out of it when can sit unaided (she didn’t), then said when she can crawl (she didn’t), then said when she turned 1 and she still hasn’t now being told wait until she’s walking 🤦🏼‍♀️

She sleeps well, 2 x 1.5 hour naps plus 10-11 hours at night with a few wake ups for her dummy (thankfully) so not overtired.

Is there a bigger problem here related to the reflux or do I just have a miserable baby?

What kind of miserable? Crying all the time or seeming uncomfortable? Can you give more detail? Does she have anything else going on medically? Eczema, vomiting, etc? Is there anything that makes her feel better like cuddles etc? X

I think you need to have a chat with the health visitor.

@Loveandlust mostly whinging which then turns to full blown crying. She had a bit of eczema around 9 months which went away with cream and never came back. She suffers with constipation which she’s on movicol for. She’s still on gaviscon but whenever I try and wean her off of it she’s sick a lot. She HATES cuddles, does her best to try and get away from me. 🤣

@Sawyersfishbiscuits HV is useless. Tells me to speak to GP who then tells me to speak to HV

Is she still having much milk? Mine had reflux until he was walking, but that coincided with dropping his morning milk, so he was only having some at bedtime.

I'd say the movicol and gaviston are merely masking the real issue. I'd be suspecting an allergy of some kind as the most obvious answer. And most likely cmpa. I would trial no dairy and see how she reacts.

@Vicky1989x I'm so sorry to hear that - what a crappy situation. Does the HV have an assistant? Our HV assistant was the best. Or try the practice nurse.
What's your DD like when you go out?

^ What @Winkywonkydonkey said. One of mine was a particularly un-content baby - turned out to be undiagnosed dairy intolerance. Once we cut out dairy at about 15 months he started smiling and seeming happy.

I would be considering a food allergy as pp said. Digestive issues and ongoing reflux would point to that. X

@whatswithtodaytoday she’s having too much milk I think, morning, afternoon and bedtime - she’s still on formula because whenever I try get her onto cows milk (mix with formula it makes her constipation worse).

@Winkywonkydonkey I suspected CMPA for a long time when she was younger but then she had a good spell so thought it couldn’t be. Might have to try though, at least rule that out.

@Sawyersfishbiscuits I’ve had no support at all since she’s been born, she was born at 36 weeks with IUGR and only weighed 3lb 9oz but had hardly any follow ups etc. She’s fine when we go out which is why I spend most of my days out because that’s the only thing that keeps her happy!

@StuntNun I think I might have to try cutting dairy out. What milk do you use if you don’t mind me asking? My DD is still on SMA atm after having problems getting her onto cows milk.

@Vicky1989x three of mine were dairy intolerant although one wasn't diagnosed until age 10. The younger two went on to Neocate initially after breastfeeding and then on to Oatly Barista which has a similar carb and fat content to cows milk. None of them can drink milk at still (now aged 15, 8 and 6) but they can tolerate foods containing dairy (e.g. pastry), cheese and yogurt.

It doesn't have to be full blown CMPA, it could just be an intolerance. My son's fine with the small amount of milk he has now, but it was such a stark difference when he dropped his daytime milk that it became obvious that was what was causing the reflux.

Sr_nutrition on Instagram had some useful information about non-dairy milks, maybe you could try them as she's over 12 months?

As an aside it's probably worth cutting soya as well as around half of people with dairy intolerance are also soya intolerant. Egg is another common allergen. 90% of food allergies are caused by milk, eggs, peanuts, wheat, tree nuts and soya.

My children have had Apro growing up milk or Oatly Barista since 1 they both have similar calories to blue top milk and are fortified. My eldest had a mild milk allergy as a baby and soya milk was fine for her but lots of people with milk allergies are allergic to soya so I would try Oatly Barista firstm no harm in trying it for a week and seeing if it makes a difference. Also it's delicious so you can finish it if she doesn't like it. Also unless there is a good reason for it, I'd cut out the afternoon bottle as it's probably too much at that age and will be filling her up with milk instead of healthy food. Maybe offer a snack instead? Xx

Bless you. I hear you. I have a pretty grumpy baby as well. I marvel at these people who say when their baby wakes up they can leave them babbling and rolling round their cot for half an hour - mines yelling within seconds!

With mine it’s very situational - he’s good as gold when we are doing something stimulating such as a baby class or soft play or the park. But if he’s in the house he’s generally unhappy and whinging/crying. I think he’s got no capacity for boredom/entertaining himself and the old chestnut he’s very frustrated at being a baby.

If your DD is literally crying from the start of the day to end of the day though no matter the time/situation/people I would agree with the PPs and consider some kind of food allergy, especially if she is still a vommy baby.

All the best to you unsettled babies are so hard x

@StuntNun I will have a look at Oatly Barista, thank you! I have coeliac disease myself and don’t do well with dairy (was intolerant as a baby too) so she may well be the same.

@whatswithtodaytoday I’m thinking it’s not full blown CMPA too, I think it’s more of an intolerance so I’ll reduce the dairy. I can handle small amounts of dairy but not milk itself. I will look them up on Instagram, thank you!

@Loveandlust I will definitely look at Oatly Barista, thank you. She eats very well even with the milk, think it’s more a comfort thing (she has it before her nap) - I keep waiting for her to drop it herself but I don’t think she’s going to 🙈 She’s still tiny so figured it won’t do her any harm having it if it’s not interfering with her food intake.

@AliceW89 It feels good knowing I’m not alone! Bless you, it’s hard isn’t it? My DD is exactly the same - fine when we’re out but a pain in the butt at home no matter what I do with her. She has been under the weather the last few days - she had her jabs 10 days ago and nurse didn’t tell me the MMR can cause side effects after 7-10 days (thanks google) so probably explains why she’s extra miserable.

Just wanted to say thank you everyone, you’ve all been so nice and it makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone