Working evenings instead of days what’s your experience?

[Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy]

I’m a nurse currently working three days a week, my baby is 11 months old as goes to nursery two days.

I have an interview for an evening job that would be 4 evenings a week 6-11pm. It’s the same money and we would save £450 a month on nursery fees.

I like the idea of being able to look after my baby every day but I’m a bit worried I’ll be knackered!

Does anyone else work evenings? How do you find it?

I did evenings, weekend days and night shifts from when DD was 10 months. Saved a fortune in childcare but I was exhausted. She wasn't a good sleeper though, if yours is it might be easier.

Also DH worked shifts too, if he'd been 9-5 it would have been easier.

Yes at the moment she’s sleeping 7-7 but of course that could change. I’d be home by 11.30pm so should get 7 hours sleep. It’s just looking after her all day and then heading to work may be exhausting but I do resent paying nursery and not being with her. My mum will have her for a few hours at least once a week so I can have some me time. Did you find working evenings impacted on your relationship? I’m just aware that being out four evenings a week will mean less time together

I would do it but keep the baby in nursery for one full day/two half days a week to give myself a bit of a break, as you will be knackered. That’s essentially you working four 7am - 11pm shifts a week. It’s a lot to take on and you could burn out pretty quickly. Don’t forget to look after your own needs too, self-care isn’t selfish 😊

I’ve worked 5 evenings and three days for the past four years. The tiredness is relentless. The long days are the thing…7-11 Monday to Friday pretty much, even though I get two ‘daytimes’ at either end, because of being single mum I am so tired all the time. In the plus side it is flexible around school holidays and I have all days clear but then five long evenings/nights.
The work/life balance is hard to work out, op. Three days or four evenings with a bit of extra cash? I’d stick to the three days and see the nursery fees as a fair payment to ensure health and sanity!

Yes, l did it and although lovely to be with young children in the day, we were always out and about, it was exhausting. You can never switch off, and l found l was always clock watching, such a massive rush trying to prepare dinner whilst getting ready to go out to work as soon as DH walked through the door. Then start again. You need a hell of a lot of energy. Looking back l don't know how l did it. My children are all grown up now and l work very early shifts, finish early and much prefer it. The rest of the day is my own.

It was tough when DD was younger. I couldn’t nap during the day. Not getting home till 1am then up at 6 😴😴
Once we got some free nursery hours I could snooze. Now all the kids are at school and I’m still working evenings as it fits in with all the isolating the kids have to keep doing

I was tired, it put a strain on DH to rush back from work and look after the kids by himself but it was the best solution for us at the time.

I wouldn’t do that unless I absolutely had to. It’s not the same, but when nurseries were closed in the first lockdown I had to log on to my PC and work from 7-11pm every day to attempt to keep up with work after looking after a toddler all day and I’ve never been absolutely exhausted in my life.

Interesting replies, thanks everyone. I expected it to be more positive about evening work to be honest! My mum thinks it’s a no brainer to do the evening work but I am concerned about being exhausted.
I’d really love to be a stay at home mum and the evening work seems like it might feel a bit like I was one. Well the closest I’m going to get anyway. Obviously the big difference being that come evening time rather than finally relaxing I’ll be at work!

My husband works from home so can take over at 5pm so I’ll have time to go to work. He’s a bit apprehensive about doing four evenings alone straight after work.
I guess I had really considered sending my baby to nursery if I’m at home but I totally get the benefit of doing so. Only thing is the nursery only allows two day a week minimum attendance but they might consider two half days. Definitely worth considering

Short term yes, but I don't think it's sustainable, unless you have supportive friends or family around who could sometimes let you sleep, and/or can keep at least 1 day of nursery (who is looking after your 11 month old on the third day you work? Could they help?)

Problem is that you end up missing your child in the evening but also then missing out some important combination of leisure time / couple time / miscellaneous job time / sleep time during the week as well. Like a pp said, I did this kind of split shift during lockdown and it nearly broke me.

@OverTheRubicon my husband has Fridays off so he has her then.

My mum will have her for a few hours on another day so I’d have the Friday and a bit of another day free plus weekends.
I’m going to see if I can do a couple of trial shifts. It’s also partly motivated by me wanting to change jobs anyway

I think you are underestimating the time you will be asleep, if you are on shift until 11pm. The things is, your mind is still active. You will almost certainly be wanting something to eat. You might not be able to clock off exactly on time. Many people need to 'wind down' before going to bed, after working evenings or nights.

Short term, I think it is doable - particularly if your dh is wfh and could let you lie in some mornings, but longer term, you are effectively working 16hours days, which will start impacting hugely.

I don't know what your husband does, and how important it is he works set hours, or if he can be more flexible, and give you those extra two hours sleep each morning and catch up after your dd is asleep ? But that might help.

I managed for a year with but exH had a flexible job so he could wake up with the baby and let me sleep until 9, I used to handover the baby back to him at 6pm.

DS was sleeping 7 to 7 at that time, had he been waking during the night or I had to be up with him at 6 am there is no way I would have been able to function properly at my job or as a mother.

I agree with another poster, it’s not unlike the first lockdown, with nurseries shut and looking after youngster all day, then doing the work. Very, very hard.

I have worked evenings for the last 3 years and its hard. For the first 18 months it was only 3 days week until 10 which wasn't too bad as I had the other 2 days to balance things out. Since then I have worked 5 evenings a week and frankly I'm fed up of it! On the plus side during lockdown I was around for schooling but those were some very long days!

My kids are older and only my youngest would need any kind of childcare (and generally that would be her older siblings). I feel I miss out on a lot now, days out are difficult as I'm clock watching. I'm now looking for something in the day, I want my evenings back.

When will your daughter qualify for a free nursery place? That may impact on your decision. If she's in nursery for a few hours each morning, that would mean you'd get a chance to catch up on sleep or jobs around the house and that sort of thing. Of course, you'd expect your childcare costs to reduce then to and wouldn't be missing as much of your time with her if you continued to work days.
What time does your DH get home? A couple of friends worked evenings when their DC were little. One's husband got home at 4pm so they could have a catch up, I think they sometimes all ate together and then she could go & get ready for work. The other did handover with her DH in her work car park. That always sounded really tough to me. She had to take a tired, grumpy toddler with her having had to get ready for work whilst juggling tea time & things and then, if her DH was delayed for any reason, she (understandably) got really stressed.

@Whoateallthechocolate I think she will get free nursery hours when she is 3.

My husband can be a bit flexible with when he starts work but I did already suggest I could have lie in and he understandably said he would have been on his own all evening and then will be starting work so I don’t think he’s keen on that idea! He’d definitely need to start at 9 am latest

Hi how did this work. Im looking at working 5pm until 10/11pm in evening. My partner will be back by 5pm xx

Hi did you choose to work evenings im looking at working 5pm it'll 10pm/11pm so I can stay home all day to look after the little one xx

Hi did you choose to work evenings im looking at working 5pm it'll 10pm/11pm so I can stay home all day to look after the little one xx