Do you think it's true that every parent has a favourite child?

[LittleTwiglet]

Just a discussion I've been having with a couple of friends, so do you have a favourite child, and why?

11 dc here. No favourites..
I tell them I hate them all equally when they ask!!
They also ask who were planned and who were accidents!! Never told the truth!!
Different relationships definitely but not better or worse ones. And no favourites..
Maybe favourite stages of childhood. But not per dc...

what's interesting is that whenever my kids ask "who's your favourite" and I ask back "who do you think?" they all reply with "me".
always.

I think that's sweet & reassuring.
I'd be worried if they ever thought I favour one of their siblings!

OMG - I never actually thought about this and quite easily came to the conclusion no I don't! They're both great and both a PITA. Couldn't pick one if I tried!

Yes. MIL last child is her favourite. They are best friends. DC was born prematurely, and they were both lucky to make it (she already had six kids). So, they have a special bond.

I love mine equally, but the relationships aren’t always the same. I certainly have more in common with Ds1, but ds2 needs me more in some ways. They would both argue the other is my favourite! I also think there was an odd dynamic when I was with my ex, as he would always side with or favour ds2 (his bio son), so I would feel I had to balance that out. Our situation is probably also complicated by them having different extended family, older or younger step or half siblings.
I was an only child, so don’t have a childhood experience of siblings to draw on either.

Whichever one is behaving is my favourite.

Usually I find them all equally annoying.

Yes I do but which one is my favourite changes all the time 😂

I don’t have the problem of making comparisons as my two DDs are so very different - chalk and cheese - that I find them both loveable for different reasons.

DD1 is so like me that I can share interests and understand her fairly easily.
DD2 is very like my deceased and much loved DH, and turns my heart over when she smiles his smile or teases with elaborate wind-ups and his sense of humour.
Both girls accused me of favouring the other when they were children, so I think I got the balance right!

Yes, but I only have one I don’t see how I could ever love another child as much, so I’m probably sticking with one.

"who would I save from a fire first? not sure, but the answer is not based on love. I had that discussion as a thought excercise with many people and so far it's still undecided between:
a, the youngest, because they are the least mature to help themselves
b, oldest because they would be most helpful
c, whoever is closest physically
d, aarrrgghhhh I hate thinking about this!!"

I'd add another option - which one would cope best with the loss of the other?

I don't think I have favourites but when we're doing things as a family, the eldest tends to be with me and the youngest with DH. I can see more of myself in Dd2 and more of DH in Dd1. Consequently I think DH and Dd1 clash more, as do me and Dd2 if that makes sense. But my relationship with both is quite different. Dd1 feels like she needs me more, Dd2 is very independent but very funny.

The dog

@Aimily

The dog

🤣🤣

I certainly hope it's not true.

No, I don't have a "favourite". I have one who shares more interests with me but I don't love him more than the others.
I think some parents do though. My DH is from a family which definitely has a golden child.

No favourite. But they all have their good points and bad points!

No I really don't have a favourite. I don't think it's the norm to have one either.

I loathe both of mine equally.

I was adopted and it was clear my parents favoured their birth children. That’s probably not surprising but it’s hard to know that I hold a lower position in the family. I try not to think about it or let it affect me. But it hurts.

Ha. Yes as mentioned above, both piss me off equally 🤣

I love them both. Sometimes one is more enjoyable for different reasons and sometimes one is more challenging for different reasons. And that can change over the course of a day or even an hour. Both different ages with different needs and different relationships. I honestly don’t have a favourite.

It's interesting that parents say no but that the generation back, people can often identify the in-laws or their own parents favourite! I don't think that anyone is consciously not acknowledging the truth but I do wonder if our children would say the same as we do... For what it's worth, I think my SIL is the favourite of my in-laws and I'm the favourite of my mine

A tv show in Australia I watch called Insight did an episode on this topic. One parent was horrendous, he called his children his favourite of the week depending on how they performed at school, at home, etc.

One daughter was so competitive for the praise, one went with the flow, and one was completely disengaged from her sisters and her parents.

Another family explained the different connections within their family, but both parents were very clear they did not favour any of their children.

No, they are all my favourite. They're so different it's pointless to think about who is the favourite.

I love both of my children the same, but get along far better with my youngest (son) than I do with my oldest (daughter). However, I've always said that my favourite child? Is the dog. Every time they asked me which of them I loved "the most" or "better"... my go-to answer was "the dog".

Our dog at the time was easily loveable, though. A complete wuss, adored both children to bits, was genuinely pleased to see me, even if I'd only been asleep and awoken (often to find him creepily looming over me like toddlers tend to...).

My answer still, even though my children are 16 and 25 is "the dog", because my current hound is batshit crazy, but laughs at something at least once a day, chases my 16 year old son around when he's being lazy (this morning she was "shouting" - or barking very crossly - at him because he was late getting up, it reminded me almost of a mother yelling "socks! Where are your trousers?! Why are they on the stuffed hippo and not where I left them?!") and just generally reminds me that life's still worth living.

So, it began as an effort to stop my children from fighting, but seems to have become a genuine thing. My favourite child is the dog (who is treated as a dog, not as a surrogate child, I should probably add!).

Probably, but like a pp I only have one.
There were 3 of us but the eldest was always my DMs favourite until a short while before DM died then she finally realised what the eldest was really like. She was quite upset but had dementia by then so only registered for a very short while.