Please tell me about your niggly babies

[Leadust92]

First of all, I’m writing this post because I want to make my baby happy. She is just turning 9 months old and since birth she’s always been a bit moany and niggly. She goes through phases where she’s is fine but a lot of the time she’s moans. I don’t really know any other babies like it and I know all babies are different but I just worry I’m not making her happy. She isn’t always on the go and is commando crawling everywhere and trying to pull herself up now. I think she might just not enjoy being a baby as some people say because she wants to do more than she’s capable of yet but I need to hear some stories or similar babies who grew up to be more chilled and ‘happy.’

What do you mean she moans?

She just makes a moany noise like she’s fed up. Not pain type noise just like moaning in frustration and sometimes having little cries with it.

Have you looked at literature around "high needs" baby. I certainly had one with dd1, dd2 was more chilled but is heading the same way now age six months.

Dd1 is now 2. She has absolutely improved, will play alone, will enjoy things, laughs a great deal, very switched on. But, she can still be incredibly demanding, clingy, and yes moany.

@bookh I have read about high needs babies but I’ve seen most say that they don’t nap or sleep well, whereas she has until recently but she’s teething again. She doesn’t really like cuddles unless she wakes in the night or is in pain. She’s going through separation and stranger anxiety at the minute. She plays alone for quite good intervals when at home with me but I’ve noticed she is more demanding to be picked up when at my mums when I drop her and stay a while before I leave for work. Not just by me but by my mum too. Hates having her face wiped, doesn’t like being in the car seat for over 20 mins, sometimes gets upset in her high chair (hates being strapped in to anything as wants to be on the go). She’s amazing and smiles loads and brings so much laughter but it’s just these moany stages I struggle with. Glad to hear your DD1 has improved.

Everything in your last post sounds really quite normal I'd say. My one-year-old hates face wiping, being in the high chair for too long etc. and I consider him pretty chilled overall.

I think they go through phases that correlate with periods of development where they're extra fussy - look up the Wonder Weeks, she could be going through a fussy phase.

@AbjectHorror ahh thank you for your reply. I’m a massive over thinker and I worry I’m just not a good mum and not making her happy, even though all my family massively reassure me. I have the wonder weeks app but she’s not in a phase according to that but I guess it could be a mixture of teeth and anxiety as I’ve recently gone back to work.

Just realised my first post says isn’t always on the go.. meant IS always on the go.

Ahh, that's great - I find the WW stuff really fascinating and fairly accurate.

Could well be teeth and definitely an age where they go through a separation anxiety phase (mine did, now going through another)!

Of course you're a great mum and are making her happy. You could try switching up activities and rotating toys in case she's getting bored during the day? I find if mine is fussy I just take him outside, whether the garden or off for a walk and it usually sorts out his mood!

Could also be related to working on skills, maybe wanting to walk or hands-and-knees crawl to get around a bit more easily. Mine commando crawled around 8 months then suddenly crawled 'normally' a month later. Lots of floor time/free play time is helpful I think when they want to learn new skills.

All I remember is that everything with babies is a passing phase and usually ends (until the next one)!

Thanks so much for the reassurance! Yes I’ve been rotating toys and last week I took her swimming which she enjoyed (just not the getting changed after part!) Also go for walks and things but probably just need to stop being so hard on myself. Thanks again.

That all sounds pretty typical of a lot of babies. Lots do get very frustrated when they want to “do more”, and it’ll happen again before walking and again before learning to talk. You just have to roll with it, even though I know it’s hard.

Moaning in this house usually means teething, and it's relentless.......

My DD is 8.5months so very similar age. Gets bored very easily, moans, grunts, scowls, wants to go constantly, hates being strapped in, hates the car, hates food, face wiped, getting dressed / undressed, hair brush, teeth brush, highchair… you get the picture.
She hated lying down, constantly wanted to sit up. Now she sits up, she hates sitting up, and wants to stand up.

But then give her some entertainment like swimming, other DC to play with, busy environment (even sat in a hospital waiting room) she loves it. Happy, smiling baby. She does have moments where she is fine at home without a constant stream of entertainment, but by the end of the day you mostly remember the amount you have been moaned at.
She loves childcare, smiles from ear to ear, with her legs kicking the moment we get there. But it’s constant entertainment for her.
So I completely understand where your coming from.

Thank you all for your replies, it seems reassuring to hear. I think it’s more heightened for me as I have a nephew 6 weeks younger who is just soooo chilled. He’ll happily just sit with anyone and observe. Mine doesn’t really like being held by people either. She loves playing with pans and wooden spoons and measuring spoons tied together so if you haven’t tried that it might give you a few minutes of peace! X

My 7mo is trying to crawl and has gone from chilled and happy to absolutely furious. All day long there is just whinging, and he's even more hacked off if he's trapped in the high chair etc. It's a phase, just an irritating one.

DS2 was identical! Totally exhausting at the time but he's a chilled out and relaxed 3.5 year old now (still very active but not in a frustrated and highly strung way like he was as a baby).

DS2 is the opposite. I have to say parenting a chilled out baby is a totally different experience and I'm enjoying it much more this time round. Sending a hand hold - having a grumpy baby is very hard work.

@Foreverbaffled thank you so much for your reply! It’s so nice to have someone understand. I’m mentally and physically drained some days. Like I said she’s amazing and just wants to learn but it can be so hard, especially the moaning noise constantly some days and even crying when all her needs are met. Glad to hear your DS has grown out of it! Thank you so much.