Baby crying at nursery drop off

[BaffledBerluga]

My DS is just over a year old and has been at nursery 3 days per week for about 6 weeks now.

He seems to have settled mostly very well - they usually report he has been happy and had a great day. I have no reason to disbelieve them - they send lots of photos and the couple of days he had less good days (when badly teething) they haven't tried to hide it. Also my older daughter is there in the pre-school room and a few times she's seen him in passing when she's told me about it it sounds like he was perfectly happy.

But he still cries when I hand him over most days. I think it's made worse by the fact we have to queue up outside at the moment and he's anticipating the handover.

Any one else have any experience of this? Did it get better? Should I be worried he isn't as settled as he appears?

Hi @BaffledBerluga

I'm a nursery nurse with 13 years experience and this is common among children of this age (although not an absolute). It probably doesn't help that you are queuing and he can anticipate it as you've said, but that's not your fault. From my experience most children would settle down quickly unless there was an underlying issue. If I were you I'd try not to worry, though I know it's hard! It was also somewhat common for children to be as happy as Larry coming in for the first few weeks, then starting to cry at drop off after the novelty of the first weeks had worn off. As both a parent of a nursery child myself, and a nursery nurse, I found that firmly and kindly handing the lo over with no fuss from the adult makes a lot of difference. Still hard to walk away tho! But things definitely improved over time. HTH

I know a little girl (well she's now a teenager!!) who cried at drop off at nursery from age 18 months all the way to year 2 at school! She cried every single day!!

It's painful, I know, I was a childminder for a few years and some kids cry to express that they will miss you, but settle and play well and have a good time. Try to drop off with confidence, repeat that you will see him later, give him one big hug and hand him over with a smile and trust. He will probably get better shortly.

They all go through it. I wouldn't worry they usually forget all about you once in and playing.
My eldest was like this sometimes but then didn't want to leave when I went to pick her up.

My youngest was like this - she loved nursery, but cried every single day at drop off. I'd leave her feeling like the worst mother ever, then ring to check she was ok only to be told she'd stopped pretty much as soon as I left.
She kept it up pretty much all the way until she was 4 but is now a happy 10 year old with zero attachment issues, so I don't think I scarred her for life or anything.

My dd1 was the same for quite a few weeks and even after I would get the odd day. Really upsetting leaving them like that. She loved it there once settled, barely said goodbye to me. She 2.5 and had to move her to new nursery, nothing wrong with the old nursery. We was driving past the other day and she said "my big nursery, I was crying for my Mammy. I couldn't see you."

Hello I just returned to the UK a year ago after long time and hoping for some help with childminder pick up/drop off.

Childminder has great references and we like her, our DS is 14 months old. Only issue is that childminder pick up and drop off policy is that both happen in front of her home and we do not come in -ever. Childminder works alone so it feels weird to be giving our DS and never getting a sense casually (now and again) for what the environment is like.

Childminder also doesn’t do photos which we totally get but all combined: Not seeing the space since the interview so no sense of atmosphere, no photos and fact someone totally alone with no oversight is in charge of baby feels weird. On the other hand we feel like she’s a good childminder but when it comes to DS we want more certainty.

Any advice?
Any thoughts on whether such a blackout on insight aside from what we are told is “usual” for the UK?

Thanks for your help!

Absolutely not