Nobody cares about the mum

[Lemonandlime123]

Do you ever feel like now you've had children nobody cares about you as a person anymore?Your feelings don't matter as you are just the vessel that carried the children.

I find this when interacting with agencies my kid attends - so like nursery etc. I dont feel like that at work or when im with friends/family though.

Yes, not always but sometimes for sure. Certain family members will call and ask all about DC, but not think to ask how I'm doing. No one is interested if I'm tired or ill or unhappy provided it doesn't impact care of DC. I found going back to work helped as I get to be me as a professional rather than me as a mum. Sorry you're feeling like this OP.

No. I think it says sad things about the people around you.

I was just talking about this today with my friend. Since my DC was born 10 months ago, I haven't had a single question of 'are you ok' from my mum. Only, 'how is DC doing'.

We are just disposable vessels who have completed our biological function and now cease to exist as an individual beyond being a mother. Haven't you heard?!

Omg yes! Every time I walk into work it’s ‘how’s DD doing?’ or ‘how’s DH doing?’ (He’s working away at the minute and we work at the same place) and I’m like they’re great, but what about me? 😂

Not from my own family but from my in laws yes. My MIL has made it very clear she’s only bothered about seeing us because she wants to see the GC (eg one weekend we were invited for lunch, kids then had something on, can’t remember what. On the phone a couple of days before we mentioned they wouldn’t be coming just me and DH- her only son- and she said don’t worry we will cancel we are only bothered about seeing DGC. Also recently we weren’t invited to a family party but the DGC were as she ‘wanted to show them off’). It’s put me off her…a lot.

Yes but thankfully not from everyone. I’m a first time mum to a 3 month old and like upslydown I’ve felt this way numerous times with DH’s side of the family. His parents are lovely people and I know they are excited to see their only GC but I often feel I might as well not be there! I’ll try and crack on with housework while I’ve got the chance and they’ll be sitting above his bouncer fussing over him or standing up cuddling him together but it’s always in the middle of the living room floor or the kitchen right where I need to be. I obviously politely ask them to move but they’re completely absorbed even though they know I struggle to get things done. DH does a lot but is working full time. All conversations are about DS or how his feeding is going. If I mention anything that isn’t to do with DS eg something else happening in my life, as soon as DS does something cute they’ll stop listening. At least they remember to say hello to me on arrival now! I know it’s a positive thing that they love him so much and it’s not done maliciously but it does my head in! They aren’t like that with DH, they are up to speed with everything happening in his life but they’ve no clue about mine! My side of the family are the opposite, we’ll naturally talk about DS but they’ll ask how I am a bit more, and we’ll talk about all sorts of other things, work, friends, things in the news, things happening in their life and they do the same with my DH. Feels good to get that whinge out haha!

Yes although I don’t mind really … the only time I did find it frustrating was amidst a horrible birth being told it wouldn’t matter when I was holding my baby - it bloody does matter!