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Parenting

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Original poster

Another bloody night out ruined!!!! Aarghhhhhhhh......

24 replies

sievehead · 04/11/2004 21:31

Have been looking forward to night out with friends for ages (planned for this evening). Spent all day preparing - in a military like manner so all would be smooth. Had to cancel babysitter because DD2 (love her) would not stop crying - so have sent DH off on his own.

Annoying thing is, she always goes down at night like a dream. Its as if somehow she knew I was going out. Now sitting here with G and T on Mumsnet feeling very sorry for myself. Guess we just have to keep trying. This is the 4th time we've tried to get together with this couple, and each time its gone pear shaped because of one kid playing up or another.

Whats the consensus here? Would you all have done the same, or would you have left it to the babysitter to deal with? (DD2 was in a state and I did leave her to cry in the end for over half an hour!!!)

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morningpaper · 04/11/2004 21:34

Oh no, poor you!!!! SOO sorry, have another sip of your G&T.

My mother does baby-sitting and is brilliant and really responsive with DD aged 1. Once we left for an evening out while DD was fast asleep... got to the gate and realised we'd forgotten our money. Went back in and DD was on the kitchen counter making a sandwich with Mother!!! "Ooh the poor baby was crying so much, I had to get her up" claimed mother.

Want to borrow my mum?

Where's DH gone by himself?

Mum2girls · 04/11/2004 21:38

SH - only you can determine how upset your DD was, so only you can answer that one. How old is she?

I have to admit, I went through this and did leave her once - didn't particularly enjoy my night out and returned home promptly.

Poor you - hope you made that G&T a large one....

codswallop · 04/11/2004 21:38

do you tell her?
put hem to bed then go

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codswallop · 04/11/2004 21:39

ooh yes dont TELl then you are going out

lou33 · 04/11/2004 21:45

I probably wouldn't have told her, but if she did start crying, I would have gone anyway. But I am a selfish mummy who cherishes her few moments of freedom. I think kids calm down quicker when parents aren't about, as they realise it's pointless wailing any more.

Original poster

sievehead · 04/11/2004 21:45

she'll be 2 on Saturday. I don't tell them no - although DD1 4 yrs wouldn't mind. Normally put them to bed and leave, but couldn't tonight as babysitter couldn't come until after 8 anyway so we were hanging around. They were in bed by 6.30!!!!

DH has gone to meet the friends.

Yes I would like to borrow your mum!!!!!!

Just topped my G and T up........

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codswallop · 04/11/2004 21:45

so did sh wake up as you were leaving hthen?

Original poster

sievehead · 04/11/2004 21:46

good point Lou33. That is exactly what I would think normally - but sadly it all went pear shaped tonight and I weakened...

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Original poster

sievehead · 04/11/2004 21:48

Codswallop - no she never went to bloody sleep at all. Cried from the moment I put her down. DD1 is poorly, so I suppose she might be coming down with something - just to make me feel extra guilty for moaning!

If I had been at my mums or MIL's house I would have gone out no problem. Feel I should have gone now....

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codswallop · 04/11/2004 21:49

oh well fair enought hen
god cryin gf or 1 and ahlf hours?!! that perseverance

Pagan · 04/11/2004 21:49

Sympathies - I cancelled a night out as I knew I wouldn't have enjoyed myself leaving a bit sickly DD (14 months) with my niece. A good move as she bawled constantly until 10pm (usually goes to bed without a peep) and by a stroke of luck my concert was cancelled.

I think it depends on who is babysitting. If it had been someone older or another mother or my DH I wouldn't have bothered but my niece is only 18 without much experience of wailing babies.

On an aside, my DH is away for the next fortnight on business. Every time I have some night out that has been planned in advance for weeks, he gets called away on short notice leaving me to find a babysitter.

As I drive him to the airport he tells me that some work dinner is planned for the rescheduled concert (see first paragraph). I had previously told him that the date had been rearranged but he hadn't put it in his diary. After an assertive blast from me about how he is always the one to have to go to things whereas others in his work seem to be able to back out of appointments at the drop of a hat he relented and said he'd cancel it. He'd bloody better. Just for once I'd like to be able to go out without having to plan the evening with military precision in getting babysitters organised and then having to be home relatively early. Grrrr - sorry for thread stealing but needed the rant - rant over.

Enjoy your gin SH - wish I could join you but I'm 28 weeks pregnant and limit myself to the odd glass of wine. Next time make sure you get out and leave DH to watch the kids.

I can see it now, a tall glass, filled with ice, lime squeezed round the top, a good shot of gin plus very fizzy tonic all the way up and that delicious smell .......

Away for a hot chocolate

Original poster

sievehead · 04/11/2004 21:51

Yeah, she's definitely willful codswallop - can't believe she didn't tire herself out. She's now in her pushchair in front of the telly!!! Can't be bothered to try and settle her in her room now. I'm normally such a perfect routinemeister - its all gone horribly wrong hasn't it?

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Mum2girls · 04/11/2004 21:51

SH - don't beat yourself up about not going. Just comfort yourself with the fact that you're a lovely caring mummy (admittedly with no social life ) and promise yourself you'll be stronger next time - or at least get out the door before DH....

codswallop · 04/11/2004 21:53

illkids always mean you have to come home early anyway

Original poster

sievehead · 04/11/2004 21:55

Pagan - just imagine how much you will enjoy that gin in around 12 weeks time. Good for you on that - will try that next time.

DH away all weekend too with the lads, so doubly annoying that I'm being such a martyr tonight. Never mind, off to a health farm weekend after next and leaving both with DH - definitely won't be backing out of that one - as have never left them before......so think I'm due some time out....

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Pagan · 04/11/2004 22:04

Oooh SH - that sounds fab. You make sure you go and enjoy every minute of it and I'll raise my gin to you when I get to drink it (I am truly salivating at the thought of it ...condensation running down side of glass, bubbles popping out the top)

Original poster

sievehead · 04/11/2004 22:09

just had a thought - hope you can drink at the health farm!!!

Also, it has to be gordons and it has to be schweppes - nothing else will do......

DD2 has just dropped off in front of telly - now fast asleep in cot thank God! Took her time though...

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handlemecarefully · 04/11/2004 22:14

A health farm - fantastic! That's some consolation to cheer you up on a ruined night out then. Btw you did the right thing in not going out if she is sickening for something.

Original poster

sievehead · 04/11/2004 22:16

handlemecarefully - it is I know. I must sound like a right spoiled brat with that to look forward to. Haven't been out though since July - which is why tonight is so annoying.

Anyway not as bad as when DD1 puked up all over me on my birthday a couple of years back - didn't make it out that evening either!

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handlemecarefully · 04/11/2004 22:42

No you don't sound like a spoiled brat - I would have been disappointed too. We mums deserve nights outs and health farms - in fact, they should be subsidised by the government !

bubsylocket · 05/11/2004 07:59

Its a shame about you not being able to go out - I would feel the same too ! Fortunately my dm lets me drop my dd off at hers in the afternoon then myself and my dh can get ready in peace and little dd doesn't know any different !

MrsBigD · 05/11/2004 09:06

SH definitely do the healthfarm thing, even if dd is screaming her little head off. Sounds like you deserve it . And don't worry she'll settle eventually with DH if you're not there.

I 'had' to go on a weekened jolly with work to Madrid and was away for 2 nights - was the first time away from DD. DH organised a friend to stay with him for the weekend so they could play tagteam to keep dd distracted. good thing she loves Uncle M. When they dropped me off at the tube (telling her that mummy was going shopping!) she didn't stop crying for 1h but eventually calmed down and only occasionally started wingeing. Had to speak to her on the phone at least twice every day which was quite funny as she couldn't quite speak intelligibly yet... bad thing was after the trip that for about a month if I said, I'll be back soon I'm only going shopping... DRAMA so she just had to come with me to believe I'm not off galevanting round Europe again.

and look at it this way... normally mummy gets stuck with whaling baby and DH has fun, so why not reverse the roles every once in a while? That way DH/DP much more appreciate the work we put in

pixiefish · 05/11/2004 09:07

morningpaper- just the sort of thing my mum has been known to do.
sievehead- i'd only have gone out in your situation if the sitter had been my mum- not really fair on an ordinary sitter or child to have gone out as the sitter could have had a bawling child all night. You did the right thing you lovely mummy you

Original poster

sievehead · 05/11/2004 12:45

Thanks you lot. Wish I had family local to us - that would help matters I suppose. DH has gone for weekend now - DD2's birthday tomorrow!!! Never mind, MIL and FIL coming to keep me company - so at least will have adult company.

Turns out little DD2 is a bit poorly today, so I'm glad I didn't go last night in the end.

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