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Parenting

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Am I being unreasonable

7 replies

Glax · 19/06/2021 17:51

My daughter has been with her boyfriend for 2 years, he is her 1st boyfriend.

At first we opened our house to him and he has taken nothing but liberties ever since.
He helps himself to the fridge, opens drinks that he doesn’t finish, makes us feel unwelcome in our own house.
He refuses to let our daughter go, and he eat his food with one arms around her. It’s every uncomfortable to watch.
Most recently I had to ask them to not lie all over each over infront of us.
He also told us he was taking her away abs when he gave me the dates I told her her sister in law had a surprise spa booked for her birthday on one of these days, I asked him to leave it with me and I could sort it.
He immediately messaged her and told her he had planned a trip but she couldn’t go as we had arranged something else!
On her birthday he refused to acknowledge anybody else’s presents snd made the day uncomfortable.
Now of course, she says that we ignored him and we are not very nice to him and he feels unwelcome in our house.
She says we are mean to him. I have for the last year been paying for them to go out as he doesn’t work full time. And they have been enjoying numerous trips paid for by us.
I told her I wasn’t doing it willing to pay for them to go out anymore she seemed reluctant to tell him this.
She only cares about what he says and thinks we are being “mean” when we have expressed our concern about his “we will be together forever posts on social media”
He is totally obsessed with her.

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 19/06/2021 17:52

He sounds dreadful. How old is she? And he?

0None0 · 19/06/2021 17:52

Sounds awful. Sorry I don’t have anything constructive to suggest

Glax · 19/06/2021 18:05

He is 23!

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BackforGood · 19/06/2021 18:14

I have for the last year been paying for them to go out as he doesn’t work full time

Shock

What ? Why ?

And they have been enjoying numerous trips paid for by us.

I repeat. Why ?

I have 3 young adults here.
All have been at that 'broke' stage - 6th formers, university students, periods of low paid jobs with short hours, NMW, zero hours.
It has never been my responsibility to fund their social life, let alone their partners' - what were you thinking ?
Everyone's social life is for them to cut cloth to suit.

I can't get past this. So, yes YABU to fund any social life they can't afford.

CoffeeandCakeEqualsLove · 19/06/2021 18:15

How old is your DD?

Glax · 19/06/2021 19:30

He were trying to be kind.
He didn’t have a lot so we thought let them enjoy themselves and yes! That was a stupid thing to do! We have never said no to my daughter and now of course looking back
that wasn’t the right thing to do.
My issue isn’t actually so much about the money,
It’s more to do with the fact that he has now taken over her life.

OP posts:
Glax · 19/06/2021 19:30

She is now days away from being 20

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