Long story horrible divorce (not by choice or attempting to sort amicable god I’ve tried ) but basically my soon to be ex husband turned on not only myself but our child quite suddenly a few months ago and has abruptly months ago gone against everything that was promised to be there for child etc after our separation etc and within days of that event just a total lack of shown and not caring / disregard and basically saying horrible things like ie our child is adopted since being a tiny baby and has been treated as such in a mum and dad unit and now our marriage is over my ex keeps saying things like referring child to only adopted and won’t say child is his and loves them etc he won’t say anything like that - like suddenly now it’s it’s less in some way (awful) and just the general not wanting to see child or ask about child etc now my question is for peoples opinions as I’m getting conflicting advice from a counsellor and GP- would you in my position for the sake of child identity etc and for child still send a Father’s Day card (coming up soon on 20th June?) even though he has shown a complete thoughtless and careless attitude towards child? Because I’m being told that may be the case and although I don’t agree with it etc the child still has to have identity and it’s for child self more so than for the father to send a Father’s Day card etc it’s hard to write done in words but I’m going people understand what I’m asking it seems strange to me to persist with sending a Father’s Day card if he doesn’t care and I don’t agree with what he has done or doing to child but like I said I’m being told to still do it for the sake of the child’s self worth etc it would be more so for child and not for the my ex - I’m wondering what really is best to do as I’m wanting to do the best by child - what are everyone’s opinions regarding this please?
Ps I’ve tried everything for months to get ex communicating over child / mediation offer - chats/ I’ve tried I’m just hitting a brick wall for months