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Original poster

How do I tell DD1 who Jesus is when we are atheists? She thinks he is the snack lady!!

13 replies

laundrylover · 21/11/2007 10:46

This is because at nursery (attached to a C of E school) they say thank you to Jesus at snack time. I can see shy she would think this but I am struggling to tell her who Jesus is/people believe he is.

I don't have a problem with them saying grace as it is a C of E school and not very hard line really. It's a nice community focussed school and I would like DD1 to go there rather than the non religous one nearby. This isn't the issue and so I didn't post this under the religion topic.

I just need some advice on how to explain the difference between a religous icon and the lady who chops up the apples.

OP posts:

Hassled · 21/11/2007 11:00

I'm an atheist - and have always explained Jesus to my children as a very good man who lived 2000-ish years ago and did lots of kind things. He was so good and kind that people wrote about him and that's why he's remembered. I've explained that Christians believe he was God's son, and explained that I don't believe that part, and that's why I'm not a Christian. I always try to stress that this is what I believe, not what they should necessarily believe.
You could maybe tell DD1 that Jesus distributed loaves and fish but not apples and that's why the snack lady cannot be Jesus!

jennykb · 21/11/2007 11:00

We are atheists too and when our 4yr old dd asked about god, we said that some people believed that there was somebody who was in charge of the whole world and who could make decisions about it and knew everything that happened in the world, and that other people don't believe that this being exists. I guess you could adds something about some people believing that a man called Jesus was his son, but maybe that's getting too complicated. I'm not sure how much she took on of what we said. Don't know if that's helpful.

Original poster

laundrylover · 21/11/2007 11:16

Thanks these are good suggestions - TBH it all came out on a car ride and I was so amused by her comment that I couldn't get my head in gear at all!

DPs family are quite religous, in fact my BIL is training to be a vicar, so I do like her to know about Christianity. I also like her to know the Xmas story as we celebrate Xmas and it's a bit hypocritical not to recognise why IMO.

I'll try and have a chat with her at weekend when she is not tired and tantrummy.

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whomovedmychocolate · 21/11/2007 11:20

Oh I have all this to come so thank you for posting this. I plan to tell DD from a very early age that different people believe different things. Some people follow various religions and that Jesus is part of the christian religion and that it's fine for anyone to believe what they like and she's welcome to find out about religions if she wants to.

whomovedmychocolate · 21/11/2007 11:20

Original poster

laundrylover · 21/11/2007 11:24

I have had this general approach too WMMC but the trouble here is that she is adamant that the snack lady must be called Jesus!! I might ask nursery if they've explained about Jesus or just launched into saying Grace. Trouble is I've just had a big moan at them this morning for not telling us any key dates in advance and now I am working away in London for the nativity play. Have to tread carefully as just filling in my application form to the school and will be labelled as 'trouble maker'.

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Astrophe · 21/11/2007 11:30

lol Laundry!

I guess seeing as her confusion stems specifically from the saying of grace/snack lady issue, you could explain it in reference to that eg

"Some people believe that Jesus made all of the trees and plants and food on the earth, as so they say thank you to him before they eat their food"

I think deeper issues of the deity of Jesus can be left for later - and I'm sure she will ask later, so get thinking!

Astrophe · 21/11/2007 11:33

And yes, I think the nursery should make some simple explaination of Jesus to the children before expecting them to say grace, although perhaps they are afraid of upsetting people?

You are an exception LL, but generally speaking, non Christians have far less tolerance for Christianity than they do for any other religion - Christianity if not fashionable.

Astrophe · 21/11/2007 11:33

And yes, I think the nursery should make some simple explaination of Jesus to the children before expecting them to say grace, although perhaps they are afraid of upsetting people?

You are an exception LL, but generally speaking, non Christians have far less tolerance for Christianity than they do for any other religion - Christianity is not fashionable.

hayCHingleBells · 21/11/2007 11:36

Only read op, so apologise if this has already been said.

Im atheist (?sp) as is dp.
DD1 is 7. They say preyers at school before they can eat lunch. They sing hymns etc. She had never encountered any religion before starting school.

Shes only asked me once, or rather she told me what she had learnt at school. I said lots of people believe in jesus and god, but i dont. Its up to you to decide if you beleive when your older. For the time being, your school will teach about him and lots of the good things he is supposed to have done a long long time ago.

admylin · 21/11/2007 11:39

I think this is also a good time of year to buy/ borrow a book about the Christmas story. I have 2 for my dc and also a world religion book which explains why the muslim/sikh children don't celebrate.
I would try The story of Christmas by Jane Ray ISBN 1-85213-917-X , my 2 dc loved it.

Original poster

laundrylover · 21/11/2007 12:10

Thanks Astro - as you know I am not anti Christianity! Previously I had done the talk about thanking Jesus for the food and said that I would rather thank the farmer's direct (my parents are farmers so it is a tangible thing for DD1) but that Jesus was a good catch all.

She is singing in the navitity at school and is quite taken with the Xmas story - one of my favourite books is The Xmas Mystery bu Jostein Gaarder (SP?) and we will read this together when the girls are older. I'll have a look for the one you recommend admylin.

Hay, my friends kids are older and they do the same as you - in fact the parables are good moral tales IMO so not bad to learn about as long as other religions are covered too. In DD1's school they do Divali and Eid even though we are in a rural twon with a huge white majority which I think is great (the festivals not the whire majority!!).

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Cocobear · 21/11/2007 21:34

The snack lady. That really is precious.

Hmm. I put it a little more strongly to DS. I told him there is no God, but some people think there is, and you should always try to be nice about others' beliefs even if you don't share them.

And the only Christmas stories I've ever read him are Twas the Night Before Christmas and How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

But then he's not really confronted with religion at his school, so I suppose that makes it all much easier in the atheist parenting department! No saying of grace or snacklady confusion. (I still think that's really just adorable.)

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