Feels like my pregnancy is ruining my relationship with my dd - words of comfort please!!

[peggotty]

That's is really. I am 30 weeks pg and it feels like I'm a grumpy cow to my poor little dd (2.9) most of the time. I have no energy to play with her, the telly is on far too much, and she's even started asking me 'are you tired today mummy, do you like me?' I feel like a absolute cow and seem to lose my temper with her daily. Why the hell should a 2 year old feel responsible for my horrible moods?! I seem to spend the days counting down until her bedtime - that can't be right.. And the thing is, she's really an 'easy' child, sleeps well, not really a tantrum-er, potty-trained really easily etc. I try to tell her every day that I love her, but my berhaviour towards her is not really demonstrating that.

it'll pass- DS2 is 3 wks old now, and i can finally chase / play/ carry DS1. i was rotten to him when i was pregnant. you'll be amazed how different you'll feel when pregnancy is over, and with her age, she won't remember this time in years to come.

I was exactly the same with ds1 when pregnant with ds2 - he was a bit younger tho - I tried to do lots of reading, singing, art, playdough etc that can be done with you in a comfy chair! Found like grrrl it's SOOO much easier having a toddler and a newborn than being heavily pregnant with a toddler.

you got to tell her your tired obv she knows anyway could you do stuff with her in the part of day you have most energy then see if she will have a nap with you in the afternoon or quiet time (books etc)

Do lots of sitting and lying down things. I'm spending a lot of time on the sofa playing with lego and cars, drawing, and reading stories to ds).
Forget about any of the other stuff (cleaning, cooking etc), and just use what little energy you do have for dd.
I'm sure she'll have forgotten all about it within a few months.

I feel so much sympathy for you- I know exactly how you feel. I was pregnant with my ds when my daghter was 2 and I know I became quite boring and grumpy in her eyes.
It will be over soon, don't be too hard on yourself, that's just how it is sometimes

Thank you for the replies - been out or would have replied sooner! Have just been told by the midwife I'm borderline anaemic, so might explain tiredness a bit!

I'm not really a 'hands-on' mum at the best of times, not great at 'playing' so I am totally abysmal at the moment, which is why I feel so bad about it! She does go to playgroup 3 mornings a week and loves it, which I'm really grateful for.

I'm really pleased to hear from so many of you that it does get easier once the baby is born (in terms of being more physically able to entertain dd at least!).

Manchita, I think my dd sees me as 'boring and grumpy' as well! I relied on my dh to do all the sort of rough-and-tumble stuff with her anyway but he's virtually getting beaten up by her at the moment because I'm not able to do ANYTHING physical with her really!

I know you are feeling exhausted at the moment, but how about going for a short walk with her everyday? This will get both of you out, and will allow your dd to expend some of her energy.

Even just walking to the shops to get a paper together might help.

Iliketomoveit - hello, you replied to my 'enormous bump' thread as well, thanks!! I really am moaning a lot at the moment!

I went out for a walk today actually, and have been in the habit of doing it quite regularily. Just hadn't been able to recently with horrible weather. I have a rule that I ALWAYS get out of the house with her every day. THe odd day that I don;t manage to do it is sheer hell!

If you're border line anaemic, try to get some carob powder from a wholefood shop and have a teaspoon or two a day - should help a lot, very easy to absorb iron from and no side effects.

Thank you mistlethrush, will try that!

I think you're allowed to moan a little when you're feeling like a bag o'shite!! Don't be so hard on yourself

Or moan a lot in my case
Bag o'shite very appropriate description!

I feel just the same as you Peggotty but im only 13+4 wks so am hoping it won't last to much longer for me !! xxxxx