Please help me get 6mo sleep back on track. About to lose my mind

[Seapalling]

I’m sorry these sleep questions must be so repetitive on here, but I really could do with some help.

6.5mo DD started off as an ok sleeper. The regression was rough, but she still slept in the next-to-me and could sometimes be settled back to sleep by rocking or bum patting. I think we were through the regression when she came down with a terrible bout of chicken pox, and two weeks later bronchiolitis. So she’s had a rough month and through chicken pox we co-slept and I was using the breast to comfort A LOT.

She’s now in her own bedroom but takes 1.5 hour to settle to bed, then wakes hourly, then has a two hour window in the night where she’s wide awake and nothing will settle her. It’s like she just wants to be latched onto the breast all night and never goes into a deep sleep. She’s averaging 7 hours of nighttime sleep. Has good naps in the day (1x 30min, 1x 2h nap). I can’t do it anymore. I have a 2yo who also still sleeps badly and so I can’t ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’.

We go away tomorrow for a week and so I don’t think I can start any sleep training while we’re in a new environment, but I don’t know what will get me through the week if it carries on like this. My whole evenings are spent settling her, for her to wake less than an hour later and then end up on 3 hours broken sleep.

Please can someone tell me something that might help? Any seasoned parents with some advice?

I should add - I don’t want to co-sleep. She still wakes the same frequency. I wake her up when I come to bed. She still has the two hour awake periods. My back feels misshapen. My DH can’t sleep in the bed so we’d have to take a camp bed on holiday for him. DD now rolls all over the shop so it isn’t safe. I co-slept until DD1 was 12mo and I really dislike it.

Is she overtired? I think, at that age, most babies are still having 3 naps. My 7 month old is transitioning at the moment from 3 naps to 2 and on the days that she only has 2, she doesn’t sleep as well at all in the night (last night was hideous!)

Oh and regarding the first half of the night, we went through the same thing at 6 months and we used to just settle baby on the sofa next to us. That way if she stirred we could settle her immediately without her waking. I don’t know if that’s good advice but worked but us and saved us sitting upstairs all night settling her. Over the past week I’ve been able to start her night in her own bed again and 5 night out of the 7 she’s slept then until about 1am without waking

@Sls668 it’s so reassuring to read you’ve had some improvement. I think she does need 3 naps but it’s impossible to get the third one with toddler in tow. She won’t sleep in the car and fights any attempt to get her to sleep past 4pm. I managed yesterday to get her to sleep at 4, with the intention of waking her after 15 mins, but it ended up being a full 30 min nap because toddler peed on the kitchen floor. So now I think she was undertired at bedtime? But really I have no idea. And she will only settle at night with lights off and white noise. Anyone talking or tv on she just won’t sleep, so unfortunately settling downstairs won’t work.

If it's taking 1.5 hours to get her to settle initially at night either bedtime is at the wrong time or day time sleep isn't right in my experience. Have you tried earlier and later bedtimes? What's the gap between the last nap and bedtime?

Six months is a good time to do some sleep training and work on self-settling so you aren't always having to feed during the night to get them back to sleep.

A gradual retreat method helped my baby when he was 6 months to get used to the cot and stay asleep. Look up 'The baby sleep solution' book by Lucy Wolfe if interested. You stay with them whilst they fall asleep in the cot and gradually over a few days move further towards the door.

What are the timings of your naps? And what time is bedtime? Just checking isn't too long a gap so she isn't becoming overtired at bedtime?

Sounds like she doesn’t know how to fall asleep independently and can’t connect her sleep cycles. Are you feeding to sleep because that might be part of the problem? I’d definitely look at self soothing and sleep training techniques to find one you feel comfortable with. At 6 months I’d also say she probably doesn’t need the last nap and 2.5 hours of daytime sleep is in the ok range. I’d be looking to implement the 2-3-4 schedule which is first nap 2 hours after waking, second nap 3 hours after waking from the first nap, bedtime 4 hours after that.

So she tends to have a 0900-0930 nap and then 12-2. I’ve then been starting bedtime at 6pm and she falls asleep instantly, but then wakes after half an hour, needs resettling, wakes after 10 mins, needs resettling etc. This goes on for a good 1-2 hours. Yesterday she did the same naps but also had a 4-4:30 one and so I did bedtime at 7pm and still had the same problem of taking ages to properly settle..

Gradual withdrawal sounds good. Could you pat and ssh? Or literally just sit by them?

It sounds to me as if she’s using that 6-6.30 as her last nap! If we skip the 3rd nap, my LO goes to sleep easy but then is up again within 30 mins ready to play. In that case, we just let her stay up til 8.30ish and then she settles.
The last nap is a huge fight for us but if she doesn’t get that 30 minutes then she’s up and down all night. As long as she’s awake by 5.30ish then she’s fine but an 8pm bedtime

Sometimes over tiredness can cause a premature wake up (like after 30 mins) because it can trigger an adrenaline spike. Could you try the 4-4:30pm nap but then try an 8:30pm bedtime? Can't hurt to play around with timings if the sleep is already so bad!