why wont he poo on the toliet??

[jaynel]

my ds is 2.5 years old and ive been potty training him 4 about 3 weeks now, if i put him on the toilet he will wee, but he wont ask to go, he asks my mil and his nursery teachers but not me. but my main concern is he wont poo on the loo. he just poo's his pants, his teachers say they roughly know the time he goes so they are constatley on him but when they arent he poo's, why is he doing this and should i just put him back in pull ups?

bump

My dd was also very reluctant to poo on the potty/toilet at first as well, and I know of several other people who are having the same problem, it seems to be very common. Have you tried bribing him . It seemed to work for my dd. Also, maybe try to get him to go on the potty instead (bit less intimidating possibly..?) I cracked it with my dd by putting an opened up (iykwim) nappy over her potty so she was sitting on the potty on the nappy. She seemed happier to do it when it wasn't going straight into the potty. After a few times of that working, I progressed to just putting saome toilet paper in the bottom of the potty and gradually she got the hang of it!

sorry, I don't have much advice but noticed your bump and saw you had no replies yet . Are you sure he is ready to potty train? My DD1 didn't until she was nearly three, before then she was just too busy doing other things she thought were more important. Plus I think she was pretty embarrassed by the whole thing at 2.5.

The only suggestion or comment I can make is is he comfortable on the potty? My DD would not do a poo on anything but her padded toilet seat - the sort that sits on the toilet. I also has handles and that made her feel more secure on it so she felt better sitting there for a longer period.

Pull ups didn't work for us as she just saw it as another (expensive) nappy so we moved over to cloth training pants as a go-between between pull ups and pants.

Have you tried the sticker / reward chart thing when he 'performs'?

Hope you get more advice soon

doh! peggotty got there first!

Just realised you said he won't poo on the loo not the potty as I had first read, I really do wonder if that is because he isn't comfy on it? What do you think?

i havent tried the sticker/reward chart will try that next, am considering putting him back in pull ups because he really doesn seem bothered at all.

Hi My ds was exacty the same at 2:5 (now 2:11). Would wee fine on loo but poo only in pants. No idea why!

He did this for over a month and I was about to give up on the whole toilet training thing when he just started doing poo in the loo. Aaaaagh! I just get the impression that it is an odd/ uncomfortable sensation for boys to poo and until they get used to it there's not a lot you can do apart from bribe, bribe and bribe again (-:

Good luck

thanks beakysmum, glad to know he isnt the only child that poo's his pants! x

My DS was exactly the same at first. I started potty training when he was 2.1. He is now 2.4. He would wee without any problems on the potty but refused to poo. I had to have eagle eyes and watch him when he started to go quiet and 'hide' in the corner but inevitably there were plenty of accidents. He still refuses to poo at nursery and is also not comfortable using anyone else's toilet even when he just needs to wee (he does wee at nursery but not when we visit anyone). He seems to 'store' his poo up and 5 minutes after he gets home from nursery, he runs to the toilet saying he needs a poo!

I agree with what another poster has said in that it must be an uncomfortable feeling for boys. Definitely introduce a reward/sticker scheme. We did when we first started training, and he got a sticker every time he did something on the potty and he went from 'strength to strength'.

Oh thank the lord for this thread. My DS is 2.7 and 2nd baby due beginning of March. Weeing is no problem in the toilet, as long as I instigate it, but the pooing is a nightmare!! He sneaks off or lies that he doesn't want a poo then does it quickly before I get a chance to chase him (hard to do that at 7 months pregnant!). I've not even approached the pants at sleeptime yet, until the poo sorts itself out. It feels like a ticking timebomb, but having read this, I'll persevere and perhaps get the gold stars out!

My ds1 was jsut like this. He'd go and get a cloth nappy when he wanted a poo. I just went with it to start with as his weeing in the potty was under control. He also used to go & hide when he did a poo. Then we did as peggotty did - laid the nappy across the potty ... took a lot of persuading with that one. When he started pre-school at 2.10 I was very concerned about the poo situation, but if he did need one there he'd hang on until he got home - same as mishymoo's ds. Think he still does that now and he's 9 .

Eventually, with the promise of James the Red engine, he gave up the nappy in the potty. Can't remember how old he was - probably 3.2?!

cheechy; I also had the experience of ds only doing wee in loo if I instigated it when he was about ?2;3. I got tired of me having all the responsibility for his wees (!) and gave him a break until about 2:6, and when we started again, he just took responsibility straight away and I barely prompted him at all. Sometimes a bit more maturity goes a long way it seems (-:

Even then it took much longer to get the poo into the loo rather than pants.

Ignore if that's not helpful!

Do persevere. Started potty training 2.10 DS 2 weeks ago. Have now totally mastered weeing in toilet, and miracuosly dry at night. But until this evening (10 pm?!!) poo only in pants, despite bribes of star chart, choccie coins, choccie cars, etc all on view!

We will probably have poo in pants again tomorrow, but I would rather that than not going at all. And at least there is good progress with wees. It has to all sort itself out in the end - doesn't it?

I seem to be inching towards progress - DS told me yesterday that he had done his poo in his pants, then added "Thank you for telling me" which is what I say so that we can clean him up. I was thrown by this late afternoon, though. He ordered me out of the living room, dragged me by the hand into the kitchen and insisted I stay there. He then shut himself in the living room. As anticipated, he pooed in total privacy. Maybe the problem is ME!!! Any ideas? I'm not sure how to go from this latest development - get the toilet or potty as comfortable as possible and let him do it himself??

Cheechymunchy - the problem is not you. I think the fact that you have DS doing so well at 2.7 is an amazing achievement. I am sure it will come in time. 3 weeks into the process today my DS announced he wanted a poo in the toilet. And I thought the one last night was just a one-off.

Friends say this is normal for boys. One pal said it took her DS 6+ weeks. Another said she got fed up and in the end gave her DS a cold shower to clean him up - that was his last poo in pants.

Good luck - it will get there

My ds is now 3 and 3 weeks. He's been dry since 2.6 and dry through the night (consistently) from his third birthday.

DS was like this when he started using the toilet. He would stand up and sit down to have a wee so it wasn't about the fear of falling down the toilet. Not sure what the problem was really. When he wanted a poo or a poo and a wee he would use his potty and get very upset if I suggested he use the toilet. I think lots of praise and encouragement along the lines of big boys do poos on the toilet worked, along with his grandma telling him he couldn't be 4 until he could have wees and poos on the toilet. The first time he did one he said "now I can be 4" - he was 5 months or so away from his 4th birthday!

My boy won't sit on the toilet to have a wee, either. He must stand.

The problem with him is quite entrenched, I think. He's a cool kid, but you mention crapping on the toilet to him and he gets hysterical.

I've given up because it was so traumatic, for both of us! I withheld nappies for three days about three months ago. He went from poohing twice a day to not poohing at all. He was doubled up in pain, but he wouldn't do it. In the end, I had to put a nappy on because he was getting ill.

We have been removing poo from pants since June. Today he did his first EVER poo on the toilet . The next one was back in his pants, though . He doesn't wait for a nappy, just plops his pants regardless of propriety. He only goes to wee if we take him at home, but asks when out.
I think desi is right, it happens when it happens and you can't rush it.
Didn't stop the celebrations today when the poo hit the loo...

Having the same issue here with toilet training. Ds is almost 2.10 and has been able to do wees in toilet for last couple of months. Refuses to do poos in potty or toilet even with bribery. Would love to get it sorted by beginning of January so that he can take up his playgroup place (all the children are meant to be fully toilet-trained before they start).

PS Well done micromummy's ds!!!

laloup, have you double-checked that playgroup/nursery policy?

My ds starts his 12.5 hours of nursery in January, and they were really cool about his 'problem.' They said they'd be happy to change him.

That said, I don't think he will pooh at nursery. He'll just hold on to it until he gets home.

I know exactly how you are all feel , my DS1 is 2.5 and been dry for 2 months (day and night) but will only poo in his pants - if I see that knowing look and hear the grunting I rush and put a pair of pull ups on him - an hour later I end up taking them off (still spotless) & putting pants back on - within 5 minutes he has poo'd in his pants - this has happened every day for 2 months!! I am just thinking my self lucky that he is dry and hope that the rest will sort itself out before he starts school!!

Desiderata, one of the playgroup staff didn't seem overly concerned but the girl in charge was quite insistent unfortunately. Think I'll speak to them again about it because he may well hold on until he gets home as he'll only be there three mornings for three hours at a time.

This is a really common problem with boys. My DS1 did this until he was 3 years 9 months old. He did it until literally the week before he started in Reception and I was going frantic with worry that he would do it at school. I tried everything and nothing worked. One day, he just did it of his own accord and has been fine ever since. By all means, try any of the suggestions here but don't beat yourself up if they don't work.

Stupid question perhaps, but, how exactly is everyone getting those poo pants off and cleaned out? I'm sure there's got to be an easier way than me currently taking his socks off (as he invariably treads on poo when pants are pulled down, peeling off the pants, trying to catch the poo with a wet wipe before it hits the floor etc etc.