Toddlers milestones - are we behind or where we should be?

[mag2305]

My ds is 2.8, first child. He's very lively, very bright, confident and full of character. Lots of mischief too Good communication, vocabulary and story telling. Loves any physical like climbing. However there are a few things that I think we're a bit slow on or he's just maybe not ready for yet. I don't know.
He still loves his bottle even though we have introduced other cups, etc. I think it's still a comfort thing for him.
He's still in a sleeping bag and in a cot. It is one of those cots that can be changed into a bed but we haven't tried it yet. He's recently worked out how to unzip himself out of his sleeping bag and climb out of his cot which has been fun!
He is still in nappies but is getting the hang of wees in the potty but needs a lot of prompting. Doesn't say he needs to go really. We're just not there at all with poos though as he tends to hide when he's doing them and we haven't wanted to create too much pressure for him incase it backfires... excuse the pun! Lol
He sometimes feeds himself with a spoon, sometimes doesn't. Just temperamental with it.
He can undress himself but can't put clothes on independently yet. Apart from wellies, he's good with them.

Health visitor doesn't have any big concerns and I do want him to develop at his own pace. It's just me wondering whether we're behind or not? What are other 2.8 year olds able to do or not do? I realise there may be some difference between boys and girls too.

Also, I taught reception for many years so I know that children come into school with varying independence which is just part of the job. I know my ds is a few years off school but I suppose I have in my mind that we need to get all the essentials in place before then. And hope that he has enough independence for starting pre school in September.
Any thoughts or experiences?

I would get rid of the bottle unless it just has water in it. They can cause tooth decay if used after 12 months.

If he is climbing out of the cot then it’s for to change to a bed because it’s a risk. Neither of my girls ever slept in a cot so they were in beds before 2 years but I wouldn’t say it’s a mile stone.

Using a spoon and fork is a question of the 2 year check. Is he able to use them and choosing not to or can he not use them?

The oh crap potty training book is good for potty training.

The book Birth to 5 by Mary Sherriden has a full list of milestones.

My DS is 2.9 and he's still in nappies, sleeping in a bag (he's a bugger for kicking off the bedclothes and waking up cold), and doesn't dress or undress himself beyond his wellies and coat. He's been going to nursery for a year and they're happy that he's where he should be. I don't think you need to worry.

He's not safe in a cot if he's climbing.

In my experience most children his age can eat with a fork and spoon independently and drink from an open cup.

I'd get rid of the nappies and set aside a few days to potty train.

Sounds normal / lovely. You should probably ideally get rid of the bottle soon for reasons of teeth. Ds is 2.11 and still in his cot - although that is mostly as we have to get a new bed for his brother and do some swapping around, he was in a sleeping bag but is now just too big, he can dress himself a bit but not independently. He is potty trained but only for the last couple of months - wasn't at 2.8. He does feed himself and has for ages, if he hadn't learnt this skill his older siblings would probably have stolen his food

Given the opportunity he very likely could dress himself with simple clothes like t-shirts, pants and elasticated joggers/shorts.

Sounds like he's been babied a bit.

He will only climb out of his cot if he hears us awake in the morning so tbf, it doesn't happen in the night. He's quite tall which puts him at an advantage for climbing.

We're also meant to be moving quite soon and due no. 2 even sooner, so don't want to push all those things in one go as I think things will be disruptive for him enough as it is.
I wouldn't say 'babied' at 2.8! Admittedly he is my first though.

I feel like your mainly talking of things he prefers to do. Which let's face it all toddlers do what they want. It doesn't seem like he is behind with anything that is worrying. The things you are worried about maybe try and practise a bit more with him, but like you said before dont pressure him. He will do it all when he's ready and you'll wonder why you were worrying.

Also potty training is a long process. Some kids get it pretty much straight away and others it just takes a while.

I have a 2y10mo.

Bottle pressure will probably have to come from you - maybe see if you can swap it with some kind of toy, like the dummy fairy? I would defo take it away in the daytime if he's wandering around with it as this can cause tooth decay. Keep it just for bedtime. OTOH it can cause tooth issues if he's having milk after tooth brushing, so another approach might be to say that he can't have the bottle for anything other than water in order to wean him off that aspect of it.

Still in a cot here. Never thought I'd still use a cot at this age but it works and I don't see any reason to change! If your LO is climbing out it might be an idea to take the side off so he doesn't hurt himself. DS2 will actually sometimes lie in the cot chatting to himself before he falls asleep which is lovely and I don't think would work the same in a bed.

Not really pushing potty training here. Keep giving lots of opportunities and talking about it, but no explicit coaching. I pushed it with my eldest and it was a bit of a nightmare. But we are not in the UK and it doesn't seem like as much of a big thing with nurseries here.

We will occasionally feed him if he's really tired but generally he feeds himself - I would expect most children over 2 or so to be feeding themselves, although not necessarily using cutlery. Can he use a fork? That tends to be a bit easier for them, spoons are tricky to hold at the right angle without everything falling off.

Totally normal not to be able to dress themselves at this age IME. Keep letting him have the opportunity to practice.

When are you due? I wouldn't make any big changes just before the baby comes so if you've left it a bit late to avoid that I would.

But for example the bottle thing could work in your favour if you swap it with a toy "to be taken away for little babies" and then he sees the new baby being fed with a bottle, it could be a nice association for him.

Maybe I'm too chilled out, but I think you're probably best placed to know what he's ready for and when. My son is 3.4 and we're only just potty training, but he has had issues with constipation so we're fighting issues with aversion. He's never had bottles (and yes, it's probably best to ditch them for various reasons), but still has breast milk, usually just in the mornings unless he's not feeling well. He's getting slowly more independent at his own pace, and I'm confident that he will be happy at nursery come August. My daughter was much more independent, fully potty trained, much more articulate and generally much more grown up by about a year before his age! They're all different 🙂

Also, only just out of sleeping bags for a few months, and he sleeps in a double bed with a side protector thing - because the wee bugger would never sleep in a proper cot once he outgrew the side sleeper!

@BertieBotts thank you. Good point about tooth decay although he only has water at night, if he wants it. It's actually in the car when he's most clingy to his milk bottle. I think that's something we need to change asap as he's got a bit demanding with it.

I feel the same with the cot. My ds also sends a good hour sometimes just chatting to himself or singing to himself before going off to sleep in it. Quite happy. It's only in the morning that he climbs out when he hears us awake and we're there as soon as we hear him.

Yes, he can use a fork. Should have said that. The angling of a spoon seems to be a bit tricky for him sometimes. He tends to wear a lot of his yoghurts lol!

Which country are you in as a matter of interest?

Please convert the cot into a bed ASAP. It's not safe to climb out - if they fall, its headfirst into the floor from the top. It's quite a distance.

@BertieBotts 2 weeks!!! So spending this time to think things through (maybe a bit too much)! Lol

Sounds fine to me. I remember DD approaching 3 and feeling like I had a big list of things to “tackle” - dummies, transition to a big bed and potty training- but we took it slowly and now she’s nearly 3.5 and has it all down.

I would probably work on the bottles first for teeth reasons. We got DD a special rocket insulated cup and she takes that with water to bed. She went into a big bed a few months before 3 and potty trained a couple of months ago at 3 and a bir. The benefit of doing these things a bit older is I think sometimes it clicks a bit quicker- she got the hang of potty training after a couple of days and hasn’t looked back.

Germany :)

Yes if you're due in 2 weeks I wouldn't take the bottle away or change the bed (unless worried about him falling out)

But perhaps make a new rule that bottles are only for water. He could have a sippy cup with milk in the car, or just restrict him to water for the car. Or we use those 360 cups, they are not totally leak proof, but they are at least easy to clean. Straw cups are a nightmare for milk because you can't clean inside the straw properly.

Agreed. I think the bottle thing would be the best one to start with. Thank you everyone.

@BertieBotts am I right in thinking that children start school at 6 in Germany? I wonder if that makes things a little more relaxed, which having taught reception for many years, I do agree with. In my experience, they are still 'babies' in many ways when they start school at 4.

The cot doesn't worry me as the way it's arranged, he can climb out safely onto a padded toy trunk beside it so no drop. Plus his room is gated and is barely a couple of feet from ours. Like I said, he only does it in the morning when we're awake. He is a climber by nature though and believe me, the cot is the least of my worries, as he zoomed up a high roped climbing frame today... Luckily followed by his dad.

Mines only 2y2m but still in a cot and sleeping bag, no intention of changing that while it works! If she attempts to climb out we will switch to a bed but not before, probably stick with the bags longer though (she’s little so will probably fit in them til well after 3). If your child is sleeping well and the climbing really isn’t dangerous, why change it?!

Mine still has a sort of bottle/training cup thing (sucky bit is shaped like a sippy cup but made of bottle teat material) at bedtime, we do teeth after though so I’m hoping it won’t impact on teeth. I probably need to push this again as she has her daytime milk from a 360 cup now, just need to work on the bedtime one…

We’ve just potty trained but I think that’s quite early compared to a lot of people and it hasn’t been easy - there’s no way I’d consider it right now if I was about to have a second child!! Leave that til your newborn is a bit older I think. Under 3 it’s still very common to still be in nappies.