Want another baby! Experiences with age gaps?

[Nazz10]

I want another baby!!! 🥺
Those with multiple children.. what are your experiences with children close in age vs a bigger age gap?
DS is 9 weeks old.. I must be mad 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

I have massive gap between my first two, and small gap between my 2nd and 3rd. Both are fine. The 2 close in age were easier though as I forgot how hard having a baby / toddler could could when having my 2nd cos there was such a big age gap! When the others I was already in the swing of things and they share a room so age gap being smaller makes things much easier.

@Leftphalange ooh good point about the room sharing!! I'm trying to talk myself out of it (mainly because DH isn't convinced that closer age gaps will be better) but the positives outweigh the negatives for me!

P.S I'm a fellow friends fan. Actually watching it right now 😂

12 months between 1 & 2.
In so many ways they are like twins, they have got the most incredible bond and definitely closer than a typical sibling relationship. It wasn't too bad, baby lived in the sling for the first few months.
It is actually a really lovely age gap. I wouldn't do it again with older ones haha, but I think it's a lovely age gap for first and second children.

P..s. larger age gaps too(under 3 years so depends on your definition of large), it is okay, not too big so they'll still be some cross over in interests, typical sibling relationship. I sometimes feel bad that I didn't have another very close so they could have that sibling relationship/ connection too.

My DD is 21 months old and we have just started trying for another DC. I've always thought a 2.5/3 year age gap would be ideal for us. DD has had our sole, full attention and will be old enough by then to understand what is happening and 'help' out but its still close enough that they can grow up together and play together.

From personal experience, there is an 18 month age gap between my older brother and I, and a 3 year gap between my sister and I, we are all equally close now but I was especially close to my sister growing up, we shared rooms, played with the same toys etc. I also have younger siblings where there is a 6-9 year age gap and we are super close. I remember taking them into town when I was a teen and having movie nights with them, its lovely because they remember too.

I wanted another baby when mine was teeny tiny then she got to 4 months, went through the most hideous sleep regression and was just generally a grump for 6 weeks and I decided otherwise 😂
Hopefully we’re doing out big family holiday in April (already rearranged twice with Covid!) and then we’ll try again. My LO will be 17 months but yes, my advice to anyone would be get through 4-5 months first because that was HARD! She’s 7 months now and absolutely gorgeous

I had the first one in 2001 and the second in 2021. Ask me anything! 😆

I’ll have around a 2 year gap. Im currently pregnant with number 2. You might want to consider waiting if you just had a baby 9 weeks ago, maybe wait a few months before TTC and see how you feel post partum in general.

I had mine 22months apart,then 11 year gap and almost 3,5 years gap between 3rd&4th.
TBH,the longest gap was most difficult,the easiest was the first lot less than 2 years apart.
With 1st two,I was much younger,PFB was very placid baby&toddler and although I did not plan No2 so quickly but I quite enjoyed having them so close,it was a bit like having twins after 2nd DC turn 6 months.
I found a big gap difficult as my pregnancy was completely different,more challenging,I was very anxious about everything and then felt guilty that my teenagers are being neglected.
I don't think there is a magic number for a age gap between siblings.

Amongst my friends and familes there's every type of age group you could think of and if it's discussed the only concensus is that there is no concensus as every family is unique.

Obviously that doesn't include practical stuff like car seats of the same size or whatever but it appears that there's no way to predict anything emotional or how the siblings will get on or how the parents will feel which to me are the most important things.

I would wait if I were you. Sorry to be a downer but for me the newborn stage was by far the easiest bit and it just gets harder for the first couple of years.

I was reminded of this because I recently had my second and MY GOD it is so so easier with a newborn in comparison to a toddler!

@ClarisseMcClellan

Amongst my friends and familes there's every type of age group you could think of and if it's discussed the only concensus is that there is no concensus as every family is unique.

Obviously that doesn't include practical stuff like car seats of the same size or whatever but it appears that there's no way to predict anything emotional or how the siblings will get on or how the parents will feel which to me are the most important things.

I think this is right. So many variables - each child’s personality, the relationship between them, the ages and stages of parenting each child which feel easier/harder to parents... and also what each gap is like at different ages is quite variable, too (close together little ones playing vs close together double puberty..!).

Mostly I think you make whatever gap you end up with work for your family.

There’s nearly six years between my two and some aspects are hard but many are lovely. They both need me a lot but generally in quite different ways, so I feel less like I’m being divided between them than I think I would if they were closer and needing similar stuff. Like, when DC2 really just needed to be held and to breastfeed on demand, DC1 more needed my attention for games and books and chat (and the odd reassuring cuddle) I could do with my brain and my other arm. Whereas both of mine at 12, 18 months still needed a lot of physical contact and breastfeeding, and I think if I’d had a younger baby at that time then someone would have been a bit shortchanged. Maternity leave with DC1 at school was bliss (and school holidays off work with him that year was fantastic too). But on the other hand sometimes I just can’t do the days out DC1 would enjoy because DC2 wouldn’t be able to cope/keep up. And I feel like I’ve spent a long time in the physically hard bit of breastfeeding, night wakings, carrying small people and all their accoutrements around, since there was no overlap in that but also not a huge gap between DC1 outgrowing all that and DC2 coming along.

I always thought 4ish years looked good. Being on mat leave when the first starts school looked convenient. But it wouldn’t have suited me work-wise to have had another at that point, and I’m grateful cos the years when DC1 was 4-5 were very enjoyable.