BF advice please - desperate with 2-week old

[LaMadrilena]

My DD feeds literally non-stop for hours. She started this afternoon at 14.30-ish, it's now 22.50 and I haven't had a break. She does fall asleep periodically, but not for more than a few minutes. If we burp her, or change a nappy etc, she screams. She's been like this from day 1, but today is a new record.

Her weight gain is fine, and the doctor/midwife say there's nothing wrong. We've tried formula but stopped due to constipation. It's hot here (Madrid) so obviously she needs to stay hydrated, but I don't think that's the answer.

When I put her back on my breast after burping etc, she goes nuts, it's really strange. As she gets closer she shakes her head, pants, waves her arms like she's having spasms, and her eyes go enormous. Like she hasn't eaten months.

I think wind is playing a part, but if that's the case we're in a vicious cycle - nursing causes wind, but she nurses to feel better, which causes more wind...

My back and shoulders are shot, I've got a permanent sick headache, and my arse hurts from sitting down so much.

Is any of this normal? What can I do? I'm getting desperate... I'd really appreciate any advice or if anyone has had the same problem. Thanks!

Has she been checked for ties?

Can you get a call/visit with a lactation consultant or your local La Leche League or similar to chat though it with them and have them watch a feed or two?

Exactly what I was going to say, has she been checked for ties? How does it feel for you when she's feeding/latched on?

Was she checked by an osteopath for any discomfort/minor muscle pain from pregnancy and birth?

This sounds like a combination between cluster feeding and wind. It’s the hardest part of breastfeeding (I’ve done it 3 times and remember it vividly!) but it does pass. Once your supply is stable and this little growth/developmental spurt that your LO is having is over, it will get much better. But it’s such a challenging period. Hope it passes for you soon x

My back and shoulders are shot, I've got a permanent sick headache, and my arse hurts from sitting down so much.

Make sure you're getting plenty to eat and drink OP, if you're dehydrated it will affect your ability to cope.

I was going to say that it sounds like the 2 week growth spurt but if she's been like this from day 1, it's worth having her checked for tongue tie.

In the meantime, try some breast compressions and see if you can feed her in bed. It might help her to settle and it should give you some rest

I don't know if this lady can help? Not sure what her qualifications are?

Ties are my first thought too. DS2 had one only caught at 8 weeks - for 8 weeks he's been putting on weight by being on me ALL THE TIME.

As for neck and shoulders you're going to need to find a different position or learn to drop your shoulders down. Baby will only get heavier. Have you tried laid back feeding for example? I was really rigid at first and it only caused me problems.

Also what positions do you feed her in? Laid back feeding/side lying feeding might make it a lot easier on your back and shoulders, she might also feel more in control in the laid back position and latch on without fighting.

Ties are my first thought too. DS2 had one only caught at 8 weeks - for 8 weeks he's been putting on weight by being on me ALL THE TIME.

My DC1 was the same. Lots of wet and dirty nappies but was frantic if I tried to put him down. Everyone says it was fine but it was so obviously tt.

How are things this morning @LaMadrilena?

Also saying this sounds symptomatic of tongue tie.

Thanks everyone for your advice. When she was born they mentioned a slight tongue-tie, but then said it was nothing and would sort itself out in time. Apologies for not mentioning it, I blame the lack of sleep. We'll definitely ask the paediatrician to reassess her.

She's actually a bit better at night, but we've ended up co-sleeping which terrifies me. I've fallen asleep while she was feeding a few times, so we're both on our side with my boob in her mouth. Could be really dangerous, but I just can't stay awake or even upright.

This morning she's been going for 2 straight hours, but is now thankfully distracted by a bout of hiccups.

We're speaking to the paediatrician again today so will consult re tongue-tie and something for the wind.

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate you all taking the time to answer.

Safe cosleeping is perfectly fine, once you follow the guidelines it's the best way to get more sleep and completely natural to bed share. It's falling asleep unplanned with them that's dangerous, like on the couch or with lots of pillows, blankets, etc.

Yes, I echo the above poster. Falling asleep feeding in the side lying position is perfectly safe and fine and recommended to breastfeeding mothers as a way of ensuring they get plenty of sleep/rest.

Definitely reassess the TT situation. While cluster feeding for big chunks of the day is entirely normal, if it is non-stop all day, bit does sound like it's worth checking out a latch issue.

I'm currently end my 3rd child (and the 3rd that's been ebf).

I'm sorry to say that what you're experiencing is within the range of normal especially for the first 3months. If dp is t around in the day then get hem to spend 15mins in the morning preparing you easy snacks/food (that can be eaten with 1 hand) and drinks bottles so you stay hydrated to last through the day. They do the work in the evening too.

Try learning to feed lying on your side. Also also using a support pillow when sitting which should help ease the shoulder strain (the most common cause of which is holding the baby too high which may also explain poorer than ideal latch).

Go easy on yourself: you and baby are trying to learn a new skill together, one of you is less than a month old and the other is severely sleep deprived.

And it does get easier

It’s the witching hour!! When my DD first did this I went into a massive panic as it was like having a feral little squirrel chomping on my nipple.
I found either offering the dummy or an expressed bottle of milk gave me a break and let DD/DS get the comfort that they needed.
Some mums will think differently but it worked for us. I found my children needed to suck for comfort too and I couldn’t cope with that always being the boob. It suited me to use that time when they were going crazy to offer an alternative.

If you can perfect the art of breastfeeding in a sling, then you can walk about, pee, eat food, and drink, go for a walk with people, and avoid having a sore arse at least. Basically, live like a female kangaroo for a bit (though don't jump as niplash isn't nice). It won't help your baby stop cluster feeding,but it'll stop you from going crazy in the process, and it's not as hard as you might think to master.

We've seen the paediatrician again today. He agrees that the pattern of behaviour is unusual, but doesn't think there's anything wrong with her. He doesn't think there's an issue with tongue tie as her latch looks fine. We've got some probiotics for the wind and he told us to give her more formula. This afternoon she's slept loads after 50ml of formula, but I think she's already having some constipation symptoms. Just so frustrating not being able to work out what she needs to make her feel better!

I've got a lightweight sling so I'll try that, and I need to try expressing too. I just haven't had the mental bandwidth to do it yet!

On the other hand, I've just seen some tweets from a midwife friend talking about the importance of letting new parents cuddle their ill/premature babies before they're rushed to incubators, so maybe I shouldn't complain so much about so many cuddles with my healthy baby.

Thanks again everybody.

Oh and the crazy behaviour just before they latch on is one way they increase your supply. When they get a bit more control you might find they start headbutting and fist beating your breasts before and during feeds.

I don't know what levels of bf are like in Spain or how good doctors knowledge of it is there - it's pretty poor in the UK which means lots of these common behaviours are interpreted as baby not getting enough/being unsatisfied etc when actually it's perfectly normal

Doesn't appear to have tongue tie because latch looks fine? Did he actually check her mouth for posterior as well as anterior tongue tie? Latches can look fine but not feel or be fine.

@Garman

Doesn't appear to have tongue tie because latch looks fine? Did he actually check her mouth for posterior as well as anterior tongue tie? Latches can look fine but not feel or be fine.

Absolutely this!

No, tbh he didn't look in her mouth... I might have to get her privately assessed I think.

Would tongue tie affect bottle feeding too?

Would tongue tie affect bottle feeding too?

It could do, yes. Have a read of this from Milk Matterss*.

No, tbh he didn't look in her mouth... I might have to get her privately assessed I think. And there is absolutely no way he can rule out tt without even looking in her mouth!

You need to see a lactation consultant, a tongue tie can't be ruled out or diagnosed without even looking at the tongue! Yes tongue tie can affect bottle feeding too, if they can't properly grasp the bottle or take in air because they're clicking/losing the latch/hold on the bottle.