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Parenting

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Half siblings

4 replies

Greedy7 · 14/06/2021 18:36

Hi me and my ex broke up last year after he put me through hell. My ex has a son who is 12, he hasn’t seen since he was a baby. He always told me that his ex wouldn’t let him see his son. My daughter is 6 and she really wants to meet her half brother now she’s getting older. I got in contact with his mum and she told me that her son doesn’t know that my ex is his dad and her son has always called her partner dad and they now have a daughter together as well. She said she will not tell him about my daughter as it will turn his world upside down. Obviously I respect her wishes as she is his mum. I have never lied to my daughter I have always told her about her brother so if she grows up and wants to find him that is completely up to her. I wondered if anyone else had been in the same position and what the outcome was?

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 14/06/2021 18:51

No experience of this at all sorry. I can completely understand her reasoning though.

Could you stop mentioning it to your DD? Maybe buy her one of those Ancestry kits when she's 18, if they're still around? Hopefully he will have done one as well by that time and it might link them up Thanks

vincettenoir · 14/06/2021 20:29

No advice - just wish your daughter and you all the best. Must be hard for you both but hopefully they can form a relationship later in life.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/06/2021 20:31

When your daughter is older you can explain this to here, she will be old enough to understand and decide if she wants to still find him.

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eleanorsos · 15/06/2021 15:13

Not quite the same as your situation but I was similar to your daughter in that I grew up knowing half siblings who didn't know about me - and no relationship with our shared father (his choice!). Like you, my mum was always just as honest and open as she could be with what little she knew about them from as soon as I was old enough to ask questions, and if ever I was upset about it she would be gentle and sympathetic but tell me she couldn't control what my father did - all we could do was look after ourselves!

I never did track down either my father or half siblings in the end and still had what I felt was a happy childhood. It sounds like you're doing the best you can for your little girl and I'm sure she'll grow up to understand and appreciate that, whether she meets him or not!

Wishing you all the best whatever happens Flowers

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