When to go for number two

[NoviceKnitter]

how did you decide when to try for a second child? DD is only 5 months but I find myself thinking about this ALOT.

When you're ready. Very personal, and cannot be specified, IMO.

We were advised not to go for a second before no1 was 2, as I was recovering from PND. But we knew we wanted more, and felt that the clock was ticking (ie my age), and most of all that I didn't feel I was recovering, but was waiting to recover, waiting for my life to continue. Going ahead with no2 felt like actually doing something positive towards my recovery. Which is how it turned out.

Having just over 2y gap was excellent, despite originally wanting less than 2y gap. It meant that I didn't have to be pg with a non-walking baby, and that I got to spend lots of time with ds1 before dd was born.

sorry but LOL at thread title - will refrein from toilet humour though

You're mad??

Seriously, when it's right for you.

Two children under two years is hard work!

I have a 22 month gap and would now advise a least 2.5 yrs. but it might get easier (dd2 now 6 months old which i find a v hard age). but the thing is you dont know how long it will take to conceive no 2.....

Hard whenever you do it, also wonderful whenever you do it. The only best time is when it's right for you, if natuire lets you!

I really wanted another when my DD was about the same age but now she's 14 months which is such a fun age and I'm really glad I didn't because being able to indulge her with all my time is such a luxury for both of us. I'll probably try after she's turned two.

Noviceknitter, im continually havign this debate -with self at the mo, will tell DH when ive come to a conclusion! Our DD is almost 6 months and i know i want another - though for the first couple of weeks after her birth I really didnt, couldn't imaginefeeling so strongly about another little person.....I just loved her so muchit was hard to contemplate having that much love left to give again IYSWIM?
Will be intersting to read the replies, specially from those who have 'been there'!

Thanks all, even writing it down and reading these posts has put things in perspective. I know I want more time to enjoy DD but also that I probably shouldn't leave it loads more than a year, as you never know how long it'll take and clock is ticking and all that... lairy fairy you're so right, in the end nature will decide - just have to decide when to give it hte opportunity!

Of my toddler group, I had an 18mth gap to DC2, 1 mum had a 2yr gap, 2 had 3yr gaps, 1 a 4yr gap and 1 has a 5yr gap. They all work just fine. The 4yr gap mother had really wanted a 2yr gap but it didn't happen, but it's worked out well as her eldest was at school and she had lots of time with the baby.

I actually had 3 under 3, hard work but tremendous fun as well. I'm now expecting no. 4 after a 3 year gap - which seems enormous but is apparently the 'average'!

As others have said when it is right for you.

We started ttc number 2 when dd1 was 10 mths because we knew it would probaly take a while as it took 2 years of ttc for me to fall pg te first time.

We were right DD1 is now 3yrs 10mths and DD2 is just 10 weeks.

well we have been ttc since dd was 6weeks as it took 18months to conceive her she now 18mo and still not pg so dd will be over 2 before we have another

Ihave two, 18 months appart. it's hard work, but not so bad. I think it's all very personal and there's no right or wrong, depends how you feel. I think that it's a good idea to wait a little bit longer, with hindsight. Two under 2 is hard. Also it's good to let your body recover fully. And another thing, it took me a long time to get pregnant with first baby, but I got pregnant first month of trying with second one...bit of a surprise!!

I think it's down to when you and your other half are ready combined with natural timing!

Our situation we waited a good few years because of being overseas and other reasons, but when we decided let's go for it, took no time at all.. DS is 4, started school and so have been taking some 'me' time before the next is due (though saying that having a rough pregnancy compared to last!)
DS is very excited and a bonus is when babe arrives at least DS is a bit older so the hectic areas will vary somewhat, compared to having two under 2 yr olds, for example.

Interesting to hear everyone's opinions and stories. DS is 10 months old and I've been desperate for my periods to start so we can try for the next! The selfish part of me was gutted this week when a friend from antenatal group said she was 6wks pregnant with her second. I'm really pleased for her but jealous that she got her body back because she bottle fed - don't want to stop feeding DS myself though!

We have been trying for no 2 ( sounds really funny when you put it like that) for about 3 months now and DS is 20 mths.

Originally I had planned to wait until 2008 to start trying, 2007 was going to be my year to adjust to being back at work, lose weight(pah, hasn't gone well so far) and just generally enjoy things. But DH is desperate for another and I'm not against the idea and I'm getting on a bit so we both felt that it was good to start trying sooner rather than later. I have to say I am slightly relieved that I didn't get pregnant straight away, but hoping that it doesn't take too long.

Good luck for whenever you go for it.

14mths between my 2. Hard work but also very rewarding now to see them interacting. DS1 almost 2 and DS2 10 months.
Was not planned this way as took me 3 years to conceive DS1 and did not expect to get PG again yet again so soon.

Good luck, you'll know when the time is right

I thought 2 years between would be optimum and fortunately fell pg straight away both times of trying. DD was 2 this week and am due in 3 weeks. However, although I have technically had an easy pregnancy it's completely different from the first time when I could sleep when I wanted etc. I have found it really hard work just being pg with a baby as well.

Hi, like some mums here I have a small age gap between my 2 - 16 months, 2 girls. Sooo wasn't planned that close though.... bloody hard work at times, and no time to yourself - was more tired during my PG with DD2 as was looking after an 8 months plus baby - but now they are 2 and 8 months, they are interacting in their own way and pleased that they will be (well hopefully!)in to the same stuff when they are a bit older etc. Love them to bits.

Hope your periods and body gets back to normal soon but you will become PG when your body wants to which is the frustrating thing about trying for a baby (fun trying though!)