Help with clingy daughter

[wiggleshasmylife]

I have posted before about the insane hours me and my husband work. He works nights. I work mornings. Both long days.
Our daughter is 10 months. She is either with her dad or with me. She has a playpen. It's huge. It has all her toys in and she can see us. I have to put her in there sometimes so I can cook tea, sort washing out etc. She screams like she is being murdered. And it's not even crying. It's just pure screaming..no reason for it. I cant not put her in it when I have to leave her alone. She can pull herself up now and the living room is too full of dangers to leave her unoccupied. The screaming is pushing me to the edge. I've struggled with postnatal depression and it's getting worse with this screaming. Im not eating properly or sleeping.

Another problem is she won't sleep. She doesn't nap..I've tried. Weve tried prams, buses, rocking. I dont particularly want to leave her to cry it out.

She throws tantrums. I didnt know a ten month old could. She throws herself back and screams if I won't let her get her own way..and its little things like nappy changes and not having what she shouldn't have in her hand

Has anyone got any suggestions? I know it's probably a phase and it will end but right now it doesn't seem that way and I'm spending most nights after work with her in tears
Feel like a shit mum if I go to her and feel shit if I leave her to cry

Hey you’re not bad at parenting! The fact that you worry about how you’re doing shows that.

I also bought a huge playpen and it’s now used as a dog pen so she’s protected from my toddler 😅.

Don’t know if it helps, but I take mine wherever I go, so if I go to the loo, he empties the cabinet of my contact lenses, he helps me load and unload the washing machine. It takes ten times as long but he’s happier this way.

For sleep I used Lucy Wolfe books, it’s a relatively gentle method.

Good luck, you’re doing great x

Separation anxiety is a big struggle for everybody.
Babies understand a lot more than you think. When she's in the play pen, try telling her what you are doing/ how long you will be. That way she can feel involved and know that you aren't going away.

As for the sleep, try establishing a good routine(not too long not too short) so she learns to associate the routine with sleep time.

Also, please check out entitledto to see if you are eligible for help towards childcare costs. Tax free childcare can help if your income is too high for help via UC.

You are doing a better job than you think you are :)

Just wanted to say hi and hows it going? My second is a tricky sleeprr, would prefer to be on me at all times... Same stuff! But we didnt have shifts or money worries, so i think you are doing amazingly well. Kids are hars work but they get easier and you get better at it. I struggle to hear mine cry and second the poster that said - sleep now, then everything is more manageable. Are you getting any zz yet? (mine also hated playpen/cot etc and i had to wee with her on my lap till she was 18 months!)