Help my 4 year old has turned into a teenager - any tips on stopping the continuous arguments, winges of it's not fair and the constant "why do I have to"?

[MilaMae]

I've just said-"because I said so" for the first time as I simply don't have the energy to persue yet another argument over something trivial.

I know we're not supposed to get into arguments with our kids but how do you put a stop to them without sounding like a dictator.

I had quite a strict childhood and use to resent hugely not being able to put my point of view across so desperately don't want ds to feel the same. However constantly tutting, sighing and having to be told 3 times when I ask him to do something is not exceptable.

Please help, also is this normal 4 year old behaviour?? His twin doesn't do it but seems to have developed the going deaf approach and insists he's incapable of doing anything.

It's something to do with being 4.

The 'deaf' twin probably genuinely doesn't hear you. I asked DS whether he would like some cheese three times at the dinner table today and he didn't hear me. He was less than 50cm away.
I find getting him to repeat back to me helps although it felt like I was patronising him at first it is helpful. He will often say he has heard me then be incapable of repeating what I said.

He is a constant negotiator too. I said 'Because I said so' for the first time a few weeks ago. Have you tried acknowledging his feelings and then ignoring anything else he says on the matter?

Will try that. I can't believe how grown up their arguing techniques have becomne in a matter of months.