Imaginary friends

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Does anyone know why children have them? How much are you meant to engage with the idea? Do you ask questions, just smile and nod?

DD is just over two, she’s talked about two different friends over the last few days and I mean in real detail, sustaining names, getting them to walk when we’re out, picking it daisies, taking one to bed tonight. Made up names I don’t know from anything.

Is it a normal development stage?

I have a psychology degree and did my dissertation on children and their imaginary friends. I won’t bore you with endless info, but long story short imaginary friends are totally normal and actually a healthy sign of emotional development. Most children have outgrown them by 6 or 7 but at your DD’s age it’s entirely normal and shouldn’t be discouraged. If I were you I would positively engage with your DD when she discusses her imaginary friend but don’t bring them up yourself. Certainly don’t discourage or speak negatively about the IF. So yeah it’s really common and is a way of helping young children deal with their emotions and the world. All good 😊

Thanks for replying and such a thoughtful helpful post

Bore away! I’d love to know more about your studies. Do most children stick with one particular IF or do they have several? How long do they send to hang around for?

I certainly haven’t discouraged or been negative, I asked what colour it was and what it looked like and she answered very clearly but then I wondered if that was the right approach or if it was better not to delve and rather just accept/acknowledge.

None have appeared during meal times or when she’s been occupied reading books or cooking with me. She’s not talking to any other entity that I’m aware of… But we were getting ready for a walk and she out of the blue asked me to put in my handbag, then got it back out and popped it her pocket and did a really continuous role play of making it walk, picking it up when it was tired, giving it daisies, then saying it was time to go and show her dad the “creature”. Didn’t get mentioned at all again and then a new one appeared today.

I’ll watch and listen to her, respect whatever’s going on but not pry or ask unprompted.

Thank you.

I had one as a child. I'd lots of friends at playgroup/in the street and a younger sibling. As I was about to start school, DM said she wasnt sure there would be room for him. Cue him being in an accident, followed by a stay in hospital before emigrating (to the same country DM friends had a few months before) DS2 had 2 - one so convincing I asked in nursery which child he was. He also talked about MIL and various things about her (that's her house, what items he had there, where she worked! Sadly she died when he was a v young baby) They were heard from/of less and less....but not before he had told the teacher MIL had hit him on the bottom that morning and I'd to explain why that could not be true!