If you have a shift working DP & 2+kids

[CrashBandicoot21]

I'm trying to savour each experience so if and when the time comes to consider a second child I /we make the right choice.

I've got a newborn and would love a second in maybe 3 yrs time... BUT... I'm worried about how I'd cope mostly during the evenings/nights when DP is working and I've got a 3 yr old and newborn to get to bed on my own.

How is it done? What were your experiences? Right now I can't imagine it!!! Just one is enough, but I do deep down want another.

OliveTree you are right. You take the good with the less good. Long hours improved all our lives over time.

In my list, I forgot to say bathing with children makes washing their hair easier. No screaming tantrums if they lie back on mummy. It becomes a game. Baby can lie on the bathroom floor whilst mummy and toddler play in the bath. Baby can be dipped afterward in slightly cooler water. .

My DH has recently started doing shifts. I have a 4yo and 6m old. He gets home around 11pm.

We've always had a strict bedtime routine with our eldest so he knows the routine and we go up at 7pm. With baby I had to adjust as he was going to bed late initially but it's gradually earlier and now around 7.30/8 which gives me time to sort my eldest then sort the baby.

Some evenings can be a bit of nightmare if the baby is due his feed when I'm trying to read my eldest his stories or if my eldest plays up so I'll have to do both simultaneously but that's not always.

Dare I say it but it's actually quite nice when they're both asleep come 830 and I have a couple of hours to myself before DH gets home 🤭

I will say though that I don't bother having an evening meal anymore during the week. I will usually have cereal or a snack once they're both asleep as I don't see the point of cooking just for me (eldest eats at nursery).

Ultimately you will find a way. Some nights may be a nightmare, others will be great and it's not forever. I wouldn't let it put you off having another!

Dh was in the military when our dc were little. He was either on shift or in a war zone, so I was on my own a lot. I had dc1 - 4.5 Years, dc2 - 2 years and dc3 new born. So very full on for a while!

I was organised and very, very strict with our routine, which was the same if Dh was there or not. Tea at 5, bath at 6, bed by 7. It was hard work and there would be nights that I’d be falling asleep reading the Bedtime story and I remember many times being fed up with the monotony of my life, but it was the only way to make it work for us.

You just fall in to your own routine and it is true that the subsequent children just kind of slot in. Once you are in the situation you will see how it works.

Thanks everyone, really lovely helpful comments! Xx

i know this is an old thread, but I’m in this exact situation - did you have family nearby for support? And did you find it got easier / did he ever switch to day shifts?