Two year old biting frequently

[Ataloss21]

My youngest will be two in a month's time and is frequently biting. There is one other child at the childminder's who has been bitten several times, hard enough to leave a bruise, but my child has targeted adults and their siblings (3 and 5) as well.

We have tried time outs, reward jars, offering alternative things to bite. The childminder is vigilant and most incidents are averted, but every so often my child will seize an opportunity. They've also started to act more destructively - lots of throwing and shouting.

They're in good health, with no major changes at home. Our childminder has looked after them for the last year and they were frequently there before then to drop off/pick up their siblings, so all very familiar.

The other parents are, understandably, very upset and have suggested biting my child back to teach them it hurts, which both I and my childminder think is absolutely the wrong approach. But nothing we try seems to be working either. Does anyone have any ideas? My middle child went through the same and grew out of it, but the phase didn't last so long or cause as much injury.

Bump in a desperate plea for help - it happened again this morning. My child had been separated after going to bite, but the other child was able to get close and my child bit them. I am absolutely gutted.

Does anyone have any strategies that might work? My child understands biting is not acceptable - they can quote chunks of the Teeth Are Not for Biting book - but still keeps doing it. I'm at my wits end.

You need to choose a method and stick with it.

I think time out can work well. Just tell the child that no, we don't bite, and then ignore whilst in time out. Explain that biting is wrong, how would they like to be bitten etc and make them apologise. Every time.

Do make sure oyu really praise good behaviour as well. So if playing with/alongside another child without biting, say well done for playing so nicely, even after a minute.

I too have a biter. I absolutely dread the notifications from nursery that we have had another incident.

Do you know what triggers these incidents? We have made some progress by looking at this, and working on emotions/behaviour for those situations.

E.g my child bit another child when they didn't want to give her a toy so we have been working on sharing toys/taking turns and asking for a turn/retuning items.

Another scenario is that my DD doesn't like being 'manhandled' - she bites when being physically dressed/undressed or being picked up from an activity she likes and doesn't want to stop (playing in Wendyhouse when it's lunchtime). We are working on timers to count down, managing her expectations and prepping her for changes.

We have also been working on giving her words for her emotions and things to say when cross, and provided a teething toy for her to bite if she really needs to.

We also keep a clear eye on sleep - if she's tired it's definitely more frequent. We warn nursery when she's had poor sleep so they can watch more carefully.

All of these things have generally improved the situation but it's not perfect, and she does still do it but it's less frequent.

I completely understand and sympathise with the awful feelings it creates - I get very emotional and anxious about it. It is a phase and it will pass, but clear, consistent boundaries will help. When my child bites we say 'no biting!' very clearly and firm/cross and then we refuse to play/engage with her for a moment, and always, always end the activity she was enjoying. Then if she offers a sorry or a cuddle we do that and move on.

Thank you both - we've had a clear week, thankfully.

There are no obvious triggers, unfortunately, either in the other child's behaviour or in sleep levels/food/time of day. You're probably right about picking one method and sticking with it and the praise is a good point - I've started trying to highlight good behaviour much more. Fingers crossed we can get it sorted.

@Ataloss21 just wondering how your child is now. Going through the same thing now and hoping you’ll tell me it was short lived!