Practical tips for a toddler and a newborn?

[TheTulipTouch]

I have a 2.4 year old and 2 month old and I'm finding my days alone with them so stressful. My husband works long hours so 4 days a week (mum takes 2 year old one day a week) it's just me alone with both for 11-12 hours. Every time he goes to work I feel a bit sick with worry about how the day is going to go. Can't afford nursery so that's not an option. Husband is great when at home and immediately takes over bathtime etc.

Baby is EBF and waking every 2 hours still at night, 2 year old has a good nap in the afternoon still so that's great but newborn won't sleep for more than 15 minutes if not on me/on the move so I can't nap then. He's constantly sick so we're both having multiple changes of clothes per day, the second I turn my back the toddler is tipping out plants, turning taps on, climbing up chairs etc.

I'm wearing the baby in the sling as much as possible but it's hot, makes my back hurt, and I'm so touched-out.

Any practical tips to help the day run more smoothly and stop me being a sweaty stressed mess by 10am? All I ever seem to do is clean, feed, try and distract the toddler, 10 million loads of washing, and endlessly try to stop them both crying!

Try and have a plan for each day so that you have got a couple of each things ready to do.
Try and get out each day - toddler groups and classes are starting up again, the park, feeding ducks etc or wet play in the garden, painting in the garden, sand pit etc
Crafty things that aren't too messy like cutting and sticking, stickers etc
I used to let the toddler do things like that in a playpen so that the walls and furniture were safe, and the baby couldn't get at them
Singing/dancing
Puzzles
stories
Helping with tasks - laundry, dusting etc
Lots of TV

As little housework as possible.

Honestly I’m in the same position and my toddler is being raised by Mr Tumble at the minute. I figure it’s short term and won’t last forever. Could your mum help out a bit more? Also it sounds counterintuitive but I like having a little friend over to play for my toddler as they entertain each other (with supervision) and I can focus more on the baby, is that at option?

Play with*

I know how you feel! 4 week old wakes up every 2hrs for feed and sometimes doesn’t go back to sleep, cries a lot and wants to be held too! Toddler is very active and if you take your eyes off her for 2mins she’ll be climbing Mount Everest 😭

A play pen for the toddler just to give you some time where they can't cause havoc.

I'm a forces wife so hubby spends most of his time away. We have kids aged 15, 10, 9, 6 (twins) and another due Aug. It was a real juggling act when the current ones were very young but bouncers and travel cot were the best things for popping baby(ies)/toddler(s) in so I could get stuff done. There was an occasional bit of damage caused once they were too big for such things but baby gates kept it confined to one room safe enough for them not to damage themselves. Lots of toys and no shame in allowing that big noisy colour box to entertain them either.

I had a nosey older kid. MW recommended telling older child the baby liked their feet played with. It stopped older fussing around babies face.

I'm in the same boat and I find full days at home stressful. Try to get out every day - toddler groups, park, woods, feeding the ducks, anything really. Have you tried getting baby to sleep in the sling then transferring to a moving pram? Works for my velcro baby and if I do that when toddler is napping in the pram I get a nice walk in peace, or can sometimes even go for a coffee. Biggest tip is dont try to do housework of any description during the day - its impossible and will just stress you out. If baby sleeps I will sometimes do bits with the 2yo "helping" eg chopping veg for dinner, hoovering etc but 90% of it I do after they're both asleep at night. I also get an activity set up after theyre in bed, something like play dough with tools and loose parts, or a water painting activity or I set up a little small world. Because its all out it looks new and will generally capture DD2s attention for a while in the morning enough for me to make breakfast, dress myself and baby, occasionally even drink coffee before it goes cold.

Its getting a little easier now DD3 is more interested in whats going on around her (4 months nearly now) and will sometimes let me put her down for a bit. Hopefully you will find it starts to improve in the next few weeks

@TheTulipTouch I have just posted a similar thread myself before I read yours! It’s so very hard isn’t it? So sending lots of sympathy and support your way. I just keep praying things will get easier...

I'm due my second and am putting the toddler in preschool for a few days a week.