Inattentive ADHD? Thoughts?

[tempnamechange98765]

Does this sound like it could be inattentive ADHD?

My DS is in reception, age 5.5. His behaviour in school seems good overall, he has made friends, I’ve been really impressed with his reading, writing coming along etc. His latest parents’ evening mentioned that he is very distractable/distracted when it comes to sitting on the mat time, chatting to the child next to him and messing around/shouts silly stuff out sometimes. He’ll stop when told off but still do it again afterwards.

I’ve noticed the distraction element at clubs, for example at football when the coaches are giving instructions he looks like he’s actively ignoring them - fiddling with equipment, picking blades of grass, turning away etc. But then he will know what to do so he must’ve been listening somehow.

His teacher said the same, it looks as if he thinks the instructions/lesson don’t apply to him, he’s not looking/turning away etc, but then when she asks a question, his hand shoots up and he knows the answer. He’s better when it’s actually time to split into groups and do work from what I gather (10 mins parents’ evening doesn’t give much time to chat!) and is “conscientious” when doing his work in his book.

Does anyone have experience of this with a similar age child, and did it get worse or improve?

His school is supportive, the teacher is going to let his Y1 teacher know so they can put measures in place to help (eg apparently he is a bit better when sat at a table away from the carpet and not right next to anyone else). But I’m just worrying a bit about him and would like to know if it’s a common problem.

To note he is educated in a second language (Welsh medium) and while his understanding is brilliant, he doesn’t speak it fluently and it’s very much a second language. I speak it but DH doesn’t so our main language at home is English, although I try and speak Welsh to him as much as possible. I don’t think it’s hugely affected by this though because the football clubs etc where I’ve noticed the same distracted behaviour are all in English and he is the same.

My DD has inattentive type ADHD and is 13 now. What stands out to me in your description is that your son is good when it comes to applying himself to written work and that he is conscientious.

My DD wasn't...couldn't even if she tried.

She still isn't bless her though at least with a diagnoses, they do know how to bring her back.

It sounds like your son is just a lively, normal, bright 5 year old.

I left the UK when my eldest was 11 and youngest 7 and what I realised when they began school in Australia, was that schools in the UK are extremely rigid in their expectations.

5 is SO small still. Proper schooling doesn't really start here till 7 and that's when most kids are capable of concentrating for extended period of time and quashing their own impulses.

If I were you, I would try to do some activities with your son that will develop his concentration. Music classes for example. Children who play an instrument have much better levels of concentration.

Also, board games...excellent for patience.

Possibly, but it could also just be totally normal 5yo behaviour.

My DS who has inattentive ADHD, at 5, there were more issues than just distractable behaviour at school (actually he had not started school as we were in Germany).

He was extremely anxious whenever anything was asked of him that he didn't feel he could do - riding a bike took years. Potty training ditto. I had signed him up for swimming lessons and every week he would be standing outside the pool in tears not wanting to go in (he was fine once he got in there but sometimes I thought I'd never get him inside!).

His emotional regulation was totally nonexistant. If he got angry about something or was told he couldn't do/have something, it would escalate to the point of violence and nothing could calm him down. We often had to restrain him in order to stop him from hurting himself or other people. Like toddler tantrums but they continued until age 5/6. He would just get absolutely wound up and not be able to unwind or dial back. The same for if he got excited - when a friend came over for example, he would get into this headspace where it was like he was buzzing, and would do totally silly things which we could not get a handle on. These issues were generally only present with family and not so much at school, although the last year of Kindergarten they did report on this "silly headspace" that he would get into.

Sensory issues have always been present - total nightmare for choosing shoes, socks, trousers. You have to buy an entire set of the same socks because he doesn't like it when one pair of socks feels different to the others and he will invariably decide he prefers the one he only has three pairs of. Then he will rotate these and complain he has no clothes. He hasn't worn trousers which aren't joggers since he was 3, nor any long-sleeved t-shirts regardless of the weather.

Once he started school his written work was always a mess and disorganised. Although they start school later here, there is a high expectation that they will keep their own things in order, take letters/homework etc to and from school and he could not do this satisfactorily.

We didn't get a diagnosis until he was 10, partially because the school kept saying oh no, he isn't hyperactive (I later understood that teachers are not qualified to make these distinctions) and partially because I had no other children and nothing to compare him to. When DS2 was born and went through the toddler years I was utterly astonished - normal parenting works on him, and his responses to either normal stuff or AP/gentle stuff are much less pronounced and manic. I always just thought normal parenting didn't work because I did more attachment/gentle parenting and this was better, but it wasn't that, it was just that DS1 really needed the more sensitive and gentle approach. It seems like (surprise surprise :o) "normal" parenting works fine for "normal" kids. (AP/gentle also works fine, BTW, and I still prefer it, but there is not this marked difference with DS2).

Have a look at the book "Smart but scattered" - it helps you work on lagging skills in these areas. If he does later turn out to have ADHD, it will still be helpful for him. If he does not, it might help him catch up to the level of the other kids at school :)

Thanks both, that’s really useful to read about your DC when they were younger.

Funnily enough @FortunesFave I’m listening to a podcast about a family with a daughter with ADHD who moved to Oz from the UK! Don’t suppose you have a podcast going

@tempnamechange98765

Thanks both, that’s really useful to read about your DC when they were younger.

Funnily enough @FortunesFave I’m listening to a podcast about a family with a daughter with ADHD who moved to Oz from the UK! Don’t suppose you have a podcast going

No I don't! I should listen to that though.