The one thing I wanted to achieve as a parent is to instill a love of reading in my children - now dd1 (6) tells me she finds reading boring!

[emkana]

I feel genuinely crushed!!!

She turned into a free reader during Yr1, around Christmas last year. At first she read all the time, but then that petered out. During the summer holidays she wouldn't have read at all if I hadn't challenged her too. Since then I have always insisted that she reads to herself at night, but now this morning I said to her that she should only read if she wants to, not to put her off anymore? Is that the right thing to do do you think?

The books she says she likes best are those blooming fairy books (barf), but she has access to a wide range and we go to the library etc etc

I feel really upset about this, any advice?

(comfort, not confort, puah)

I'm SO not. I only write the notes, because if I walk in his room and take a deep breath to speak and he sees me looking at the book shelf he says 'GET OUT.'

Hah.

I find them full of irony which I like. Anyway, my dc can't read any note at the moment. They blissfully take comfort in their ignorance

Ah yes, well you can keep the note writing for later, when verbal communication has totally collapsed!

I'm a big note writer. Sometimes they write notes back.

6 is very young to be an avid reader (especially when you move away from the bizarre Mumsnet world where the majority of children are incredibly talented ). I wouldn't force it at all, not at 6 or any age.

Some people really don't like reading, my DP is one, he is very academic but all on the science/computer/maths side and he rarely reads a fiction book.

You could try fact books, my dd2 preferred fact books when she was in yr1 and a free reader, I think the pictures and short bits of text were more appealing than pages of text, even though she could read well.

Children do have a habit of not doing the one thing you really want them to, when we first had children we said that the only thing we really wanted them to do young was swim, cos we spend a lot of time near water. And they were really mediocre at swimming, for ages. while all their friends who started later just took off, they are still not that good. but they are good at other things we hadn't been bothered about or expected instead.

dd1 and I communicated almost exclusively by note when she was 6 for about 3 months

(Enid - the dress. Yes? No?)

Dd1 (8) was like this at 6 and like you I felt disappointed, I love to read and hoped to pass that on to her. However, now she loves to read - it just took a little while for her to 'get' reading. She also started on those terrible fairy books, but who cares eventally she moved on.

This thread could have been started by me - DD (7) loves being read to but has announced that she hates reading. I don't make her read anymore as I want her to read because she enjoys it not because I make her. Don't know if I'm doing the right thing but can only think that forcing someone to read will only push them away from it.

smee, I appreciate your point, but do you think it would be possible to adopt a slightly friendlier tone?????

Everybody else, thanks for the good advice. Yes I will back off and yes I do blame MN to some extent where all the children seem to read the blooming Narnia books aged 4

At your DD's age I loved Judy Blume and also the Nancy Drew books - are they still around ?

I think you (we all) have to keep in mind that MN is probably not representative and in any case fewer people will be writing, my dc is 8 and average in everything because it isn't a very interesting thing to post IYSWIM.

I had a Russian mum on the phone last night who left me feeling totally insecure after telling me all the various things she did outside of school to promote her dd's learning. I felt like I had done far too little and slept badly as a result.

If she is generally happy at school and enjoys learning, she is probably fine. Maybe she has put reading on the back burner now because she is concentrating on something else?

what narnia books? It's the brothers Karamazov at the Franca's

in the original Russian I hope Franca?

da

Thinking about this thread, a year ago I was a bit disappointed that my dds didn't seem to be bookworms - I had been as a young child and wanted them to know that pleasure too. They were 6 and 5 then, and reading competently but didn't sit and get immersed in books. But a year later, my 7.5 year old reads several books a day, it does often come, just not as early as we maybe think it should.

my experience in RL of many children, often with very clever parents, is that it's rare to meet a RL child who is anything like as advanced as the majority of mumsnet children on any of those "what can your child at X age" threads.

Ah yes. Ds much prefers 'information books' when reading to himself.

Do you want to instill a love of reading of itself? Or a love or books? I think they are different.

I know my DCs have no problem with the technical skills of reading. DD is also happy to read everything and anything. DS#1 however does not read for choice - he can read the instructions for a ps2 game, he can read the things he needs to but rarely an entire book, of any kind - so I read to him. I hate to think that he will be the kind of adult that never picks up a book.

Would it he helpful to read to her? Perhaps books that she wouldn't have thought of before, that she might find challengging to read herself, but that you can enjoy together?

I wouldn't stress about it or turn it into a confrontation - but that's not the impression I get from your posts.

I would at this age insist that she continues to read - i.e. force her if you like.

For instance in our house if bedtime is, say 6.30 pm they then have a choice:
a) Lights out immediately - no playing, or other options
b) Lights on for 30-60 mins for reading quietly in bed

They don't have to read, I am not standing over them with a big stick but I am strongly encouraging them to choose to read.

DS2 (8) is not an avid reader like ds1, but does read a lot; I haven't given up hope yet, but I have my doubts. So I completely share and sympathize with your feelings.

Sometimes I feel I have very little in common with my soon-to-be-a-hormonal-teenager ds1 (10); but we always have a subject we can talk about on books.

Let her read the fairy books, and don't worry about the ing for the moment...

Gosh I really disagree roisin. I don't think children should be forced to read for pleasure. If they see you read, if you like talking to them about the books, if you read books together then you hope they'll pick them up and like them to. I don't think they should be forced to do it though.

I think reading is a life skill but more importantly a pleasure, and should be treated as such.

ahundred - I agree with that. Reading is not just a tool for life - it is one of the greatest joys and comforts for me as an adult.

i have 3 dds. my eldest sounds like yours - she was never interested in reading and found it boring. i just kept offering different books to try as i thought that once something caught her attention she would take to it. what finally worked for us (at the end of year 6) was agatha christie - i got her murder on the orient express for a summer holiday book and she loved it and has now read her way through most of the agatha christie work and moved on to other detective stories and other historical fiction.

what i've found interesting about the way she reads compared to her sisters (who are both reading with torches under the duvet after lights out readers) is that she is much more discriminating - if she likes a book she is able to tell you why and if she doesn't then she won't bother to finish it but again can work out why she didn't like it. she was described as a "good reader" at her last parents evening - not because of her speed or avidity but because of her literary analysis.

don't give up hope. not wanting to read at 6 doesn't signify an inability to get pleasure from books and reading - which was my concern and i'm guessing is yours.