Do I go back to work

[Twizbe]

I'll try not to drip feed but here are the basics.

Degree educated and worked in a 'career' job for a long time.

Went back to work full time after DC1 and basically hated it. My job was fine but all the extra stuff we were expected to do just made life so stressful.

Decided not to go back after DC2. Officially left work in Jan 2020. Given what happened in 2020 it's very likely I'd have quit my job during lockdown anyway.

DC are now 4 and 2.

Husband works full time and financially we don't need me to work. DH is wonderful, very hands on, respects and loves me, adores the kids, is helping me boost my personal pension while I'm not working, I have savings just in my name, etc basically I'm not financially reliant on him and he sees us a team.

I'd always planned to return to work full time once DC2 started school. It would mean we could likely retire a bit earlier if I did that and have slightly 'better' holidays etc.

This was the plan until last week I got headhunted. The role sounds right up my street and they know I'm a SAHP with 2 young kids. They want my skills and are willing to offer part time and school hours only. They would even wait for September for me to start. The job is all the bits I liked from my old job without all the stuff I hated.

I'm still interviewing but I think it's a case of if I wanted it, it's mine.

I just don't know what to do. On one hand the job would have been great if it had come 2 years from now. But on the other, I'm loving being home with the kids. Having to source extra childcare etc. I know my youngest would be fine at nursery for a few extra days but she won't get anything extra out of going.

Husband is being his usual supportive self and saying it's up to me. I think he'd prefer I waited for youngest to be in school like we'd agreed, but he'd never say that or tell me I couldn't do it.

What do I do? Do I go back to work or not.

Do it. Mine are now both at primary school and I am SO glad that I stayed working. The gulf between women who kept working and those who didn’t, or took a serious step back is really quite large - both financially and in terms of confidence too. It’s so worth the hard yards, and it sounds like you have the perfect opportunity lined up!

This is a good point. I don't miss work though. I'm very happy with my life at the moment. I've also not been hugely career minded despite what I did for a living. I never wanted to be a partner in the firm or anything like that.

This job would be very interesting and I know if it came up in 2024 when I'd planned to go back it'd be perfect. It's just bad timing I think.

Whilst I loved being at home, I have always looked for that perfect balance in a job and it does sound like you have found it. If it does not work out you could always leave so I would give it a go.

Definitely do it. The longer you're out of the workforce the more difficult it will become to find work and the less likely that such an amazing opportunity will find you. I can see you could really really regret turning this down if in a few years you want to go back and can't find anything as interesting or as flexible. Whereas if you do this for a while and have a change of heart you can always quit with no real harm done.

I think take it. Another 2 years break and sadly you'd be less desirable than you are now. It sounds like a once in a lifetime offer you should snap it up

Go for it They're handing you so the good bits on a plate, and being super flexible around your family commitments. That's an amazing combination and not one that comes along every day. If you ever intend to work again (which it sounds as though you do), then I'd grab this.

Yes you should take the job, definitely.

Yes, go for it.

All the best

Sounds ideal. What's not to like. What's the worst that can happen? You start and decide it's not for you?

Grab the job with both hands!!

Do it. You've been offered a great opportunity on a plate.

@DazzlePaintedBattlePants

Do it. Mine are now both at primary school and I am SO glad that I stayed working. The gulf between women who kept working and those who didn’t, or took a serious step back is really quite large - both financially and in terms of confidence too. It’s so worth the hard yards, and it sounds like you have the perfect opportunity lined up!

Sorry to derail but @DazzlePaintedBattlePants could you say a bit more about this gulf please? I'm in a similar predicament as OP so following with interest.

I wouldn't voluntarily step out of the job market for long right now. Things are moving incredibly fast. So if you've got a chance to get back in do it.

(Fwiw OP I'd also take the job in this circumstance as a school hours only job will be so valuable in a few years' time, but might be harder to find then if you don't take it now! For me that would be worth it for sure.)

I thought I'd come back and update.

I have a second interview the week after next but I had my first one the other week.

I found out more about the role and now I'm thinking it's not quite as amazing as she first made out.

The content of the role could not be quite what I wanted, the money could not be quite what I wanted, but the part time hours are there.

I'm still very conflicted.

Take it. This kind of job might very well not be around in two years, and school hours are so, so hard to find.

It's totally fine to not be very ambitious in your career, but you do intend to go back to work, and to the same career. You might feel very differently when your kids are older, once you have the brain space to think about yourself again.

Take it! Men change. It's never ever ever safe to be financially reliant on one. Ever.

Sounds to me like you don't want the job and are looking for reasons for it not to work out.
If your happy being at home for another two years and want to do that then it's fine! You've said your husband is supportive and they are only little once. No point going back into work when your not ready.