DS 18 months moans all the time!!!

[Ccoffee217]

Hi all, basically I need a moan and hoping someone can make me feel like this is coming to an end. Me and DH are really at our whits end with our DS, he's our first child so we have no idea when things will get better, but probably since he's been 8 months old, he's been a real moaner. When he wakes up in the morning he's instantly unhappy, when he doesn't get his way he throws a huge tantrum, and just generally most of the day, he'll be moaning or screeching and I have to say it is really making me not want to spend any time with him.
He goes to nursery 3.5 days a week, and so like most young ones has a constant runny nose and the odd bad cold, but I honestly believe it's not illness or teething but that he is just naturally a moaner!
Is there any chance of things improving any time soon? Is it just a phase? And should I keep repeating to myself "this is just a phase"? Whilst trying to avoid going insane!!

Does he have any underlying allergies or health issues? My DS when his alllergies was playing up was a nightmare.

What interests him or what does he enjoy doing? Also they can pick up on your senses so that doesn’t help so try and make some time for you either alone time or doing something that makes you feel better. Do you have any support?

If he has a constant runny nose he probably feels grotty. Get a saline spray for babies, and use it whenever he seems to have a runny nose.

Usually I got more moaning and complaining when I wasn't giving my DS good quality attention. I'm not saying this is necessarily the case with you, but try and see what is triggering the meaning. There must be some situations when he is happy.

I'm assuming he is non-verbal? When he starts talking he will probably improve.

Meantime, try this trick. When he is whingeing get his attention and get right down on the ground then say, "oh, are you unhappy? Me too. My turn!" Then make a really exaggerated silly moany crying sound and screw your face up. Then stop crying and say, "okay all done. Now your turn!" Smile and encourage him to moan. Then once he's moaned for a minute say, "hang on, stop, it is daddy's turn", then call out to daddy and say, "daddy, we are all having a whinge! Your turn!" And get daddy to do the same. Then daddy stops. Then you say with a big sunny smile, "my turn again!". Then you tell DS it is his turn.
You can't do this too often but my DS absolutely LOVES it and always stops whingeing.

Aside from that you really just have to live with the tantrums and not reward with too much coddling. Try and praise when he has sat nicely for dinner, or put his toys away without complaining, or left the park without a tantrum, anything you can find that is positive, praise it. Small children lap up approval.

I have an 18 month old boy and also a 3 and a half year old. It's a phase. They want to do so much yet can't, they are trying to talk, get their feeling across and get frustrated very very easily. My DS2 is the same at the mo, had a cold, more clingy as separation anxiety reaches its peak, molar teething is hell, it puts them off their food and increases fussiness. I find distraction if having a tantrum is best or trying to make them laugh and lots of outside time but yes it's hard hard work. They love fiddling with things at this age so perhaps a couple of new toys or toys on rotation. Plus sleep, is he getting as much sleep as he can and a nap at nursery?