Help me

[Mazzatron]

Hi

I've got a 4.5 week old with severe colic who is never happy, very windy, won't sleep for more than an hour at a time and a 2.5 year old who is an awesome little guy but since baby brother came along behaviour and sleep have taken a huge regression.

I'm looking after them both full time and got no local family support. It's so hard I'm so so tired and I don't even know how to handle my 2 year old every time I take him out somewhere he has a huge tantrum when things don't go his way and it's hard to manage with the baby in tow.

Has anyone got any tips or words of encouragement. im feeling very alone?

Tips on colic and sleep greatly received he is on comfort formula, infacol and gripe water. Will only really sleep on my chest I continually put him down on his back but he gets in so much pain with his tummy he always wakes up shortly after. Takes ages to settle him. I'm getting about 3 hours sleep a night. My 2 year old won't nap anymore.

Please help

Just

Sending you huge hugs, I literally wrote posts exactly like this a few weeks ago! I was at my wits end.

My DS has silent reflux - could yours have that? My DS needed omeperazole to even remotely sort it.

Another thing to consider is possibly him having CMPA, it’s worth looking into that too. Part of my DS’s issues was allergy related (though egg rather than dairy, my eldest has CMPA!)

For the older one, my oldest is 3.5 and I have unashamedly used screens to get through this crappy newborn stage. As in - I literally gave him an iPad 😳 I’ve put loads of CBeebies apps on it, and leave him to it. Not my proudest parenting moment, but it’s been about survival so far!

Also - the sling can be really helpful if baby tolerates it to keep them upright and your hands free.

I’ve also been putting DS to sleep on his front. I know it’s against safe sleep guidelines, however we were falling asleep with him on us when on the sofa etc which I felt was more dangerous.

I’ve massively lowered my standards around the house too, and just accepted it’ll take me 72736272 hours to get anything done. As it stands right now, the washing is still only half out on the line - I’ve been trying to get it out since 5am!

I don’t have much help either - I did start DS in nursery using his funded hours (we had chosen not send him to prior to this as my dad is terminally ill so we were in a bubble with my parents). Could your older one go to nursery/a childminder for a few hours a week? I’ve found the break really good for my eldest and it gives me a bit of headspace (how easy it is to just have one to think about!)

it’s so hard, but it’ll be easier before you know it! My DS is 11 weeks now and thankfully coming through the other side x

I would put baby to sleep on his front. There’s an old story about the tiger in the tree, which basically says if baby has colic to sleep on the front.
Can you get free hours at nursery? Just to give you a bit of time, it doesn’t have to be long term

@FlappityFlippers1 thank you for the lengthy reply! He's been diagnosed silent reflux today and prescribed gaviscon but gp said to go back if no change.

Pleased and reassured to hear you are coming through the other side. It's just reassuring to hear from someone who knows how hard it is.

I'm so full of anxiety. Will reply more tmw but thank you xx

My LO had silent reflux, Keep him up right for 20 mins after a bottle, I also used to put Carobel in his formula this did help along with meds.

Do whatever you need to for your older DC to get through the day, if it’s tv then that’s fine the first couple months with a new born are rough.

Do you have a DP? If not are the children’s fathers involved?

Can you get the funded hours at nursery?

Please don't tell people to put their baby to sleep on their front!

Fingers crossed the Gavison will help, I hope things improve for you soon

Yes agree, absolutely a big fat no to putting a young baby on their front.

Hope the Gaviscon works for your DC.

It is so hard. Parents whose babies just lie on their backs and sleep have absolutely NO idea how hard it is to watch your baby writhing in pain. My second baby had reflux and dreadful wind, it was a tough slog getting through it.

Spend ages burping, and have a good gap between feeding and sleeping (stick with the feed, play, sleep routine).

Will the baby relax or sleep in the pram? You could take the 2.5 year old out on a balance bike in a large park while baby sleeps, or something.

Baby sling, best thing for daytime naps. Being tucked up with you will help the pain in baby's tummy.

Also don't forget the old bicycle legs trick to get the wind out.

Give the toddler some special jobs to do, and buy something - maybe a job lot of stickers - put them in the cot with baby and say that baby bought him a present because baby and mummy love him ao much and baby is sorry he is crying a lot but he has an ouchy tummy.

Also get the toddler a baby doll and dolly pram to play with, my DS2 loves his baby doll so much, puts her nappy on and wipes her bottom and lies her down to sleep, and then pokes her eyes repeatedly to wake her. So cute. Then you can both look after your babies together, take them out in their prams. Forget all the rubbish about boys and dolls, they love to pretend play with dolls at this age.

Stay strong. In a year or so the age gap will.be marvellous, and then stay marvellous (apart from the endless bickering). Just keep on keeping on.

I watched a baby feeding dispatches documentary tonight and there is no medical basis to comfort formula it's a marketing scam.

The experts said you're better off getting healthcare professional advice about positions, paced feeding and environmental issues as well as medical checks etc. Do you have an infant feeding specialist attached to your health centre?

Perhaps not relevant for your baby, gripe water did help my son's wind, but infacol made my son's reflux worse- I have heard the same from other people. Perhaps the orange oil being a bit acid?

Feel for you, it's so exhausting having a refluxy baby

Hi all! First Post here!

I was mid descaling of the steriliser, when we went for a walk. I'd put in the descaling crystals from Boots, and let it run. My plan was to finish the clean when we got home (finishing the clean just consists of emptying the water out, rinsing it with 200ml of water and then running a fresh, empty sterilising cycle). However, I completely forgot and the husband has put some bottles in and set them going to sterilise them without realising I was mid clean, so hasn't emptied the water out that had the crystals in (although the crystals had dissolved by now).

I've taken them out, washed them again in hot, soapy water and finished descaling the steriliser. Will the bottles still be OK now they've been washed and will be put on to sterilise again?

FTM who overthinks and worries about everything and don't want to poison my baby 🙈

Can definitely tell I've never used this site before to post! I thought I was making my own post, sorry!!

If the comfort formula is not helping can you try the anti reflux formula? That sorted our DS to the extent I got a bit more sleep - not sure how it would interact with the Gaviscon though. He was exactly as you describe yours and improved so much sleep & reflex wise once we got to 8 weeks so hopefully a change is round the corner for you as well, and once that happens you can spend more time on the toddler and he will be easier also. The only thing that really helped with the toddler was making a specific time every day (when the baby napped) for just me & her to play and reconnect - appreciate that might not be possible yet but finger crossed baby will nap in his pram or cot once the reflux is sorted.
Hope today is an easier day. You are making it through the hardest time, take it a day at a time (or an hour at a time), celebrate any tiny wins, you will get there

@Mymapuddlington
I've finally been brave enough to put baby on his front and it's made a huge difference! Got a heart rate and breathing monitor. It's scary given all the advice
But he's a lot happier that way

Have you also tried peddling his legs like he's on a bicycle? Slowly and gently, the legs in that position help massage his tummy and help things to move in his bowels. It's always helped my babies.